self euthanasia when is the right time?

Question

I want to die by self euthanasia. How will I know when the time to go is at hand? I am 63. been physically diabled for 30 years and mentally ill with bi polar for 50 yrs. I have no spouse or child. Real age tells me my physical age is 84. My doctor agrees and says I am a perfect candidate for a stroke, heart attack, kidney failure, amputations and blindness, My diabetes is very poorly controlled. I weigh 300 lbs. I have congestive heart failure. I have post polio syndrome. I live on the income of social security disability. Family is out of state and unavailable to visit or help me in any way. I have no friends, I am very isolated and lonley. I can still tolerate life and enjoy my small service dog and can still manage independent living. The question is how to put myself down and arrange for someone to take care of my dog before these disasters set in and I have no choices left to make.

Answer 1

Nora ... I'm so sorry that life has dealt you this rotten hand. Ultimately, no one can really answer your question. You're the only one who can make this decision.

My mom recently passed away and made a similar decision for herself. We were very fortunate that she had caring doctors and a wonderful hospital to make sure she was as comfortable as possible. But that still wasn't terribly comfortable. She died a horrible death. I held her hand.

I am quite close to her older sister as well. They are/were very different people. While my mom all but gave up, my aunt has decided to stay as active as she possibly can, until she can't anymore. Once you get to be their ages (late 60's, early 70's), staying active is crucial. once you lose the ability to do something, you lose it for good. she does yard work, grocery shopping, has a part time job at the library, and sees friends often. These things are keeping her alive.

If I were in your position, I'd stick around until I was just plain ready to go. I'm not afraid of death. I'm a little afraid of the actual dying, but taking things into my own hands would alleviate much of that fear. I think it takes so much courage though, and I admire you for that. If there was little hope, if any, of my physical condition improving; if a diagnosis called for pain and significant discomfort as part of the treatment (example; third/fourth/fifth round of chemo, surgery that would leave me debilitated, etc.); if my quality of life was expected to decline significantly to the point of losing my independence, then I'd make the arrangements and go.

Do a web search for the Hemlock Society. If they can't help, they can point you in the right direction. I personally would speak with my minister about things too...just to make sure I'd considered everything I'd need to. My religion (Unitarian Universalist) is sympathetic to situations like yours. Many christian denominations are not. If you know your minister would try to talk you out of it, this chat might not be something you want to do.

There are tons of animal rescue and adoption folks out there who would make sure your dog found a healthy, happy home. Just look in the yellow pages.

I wish you all the luck in the world with your decision. It won't be easy, no matter what you do or decide. You don't have to go through this alone. There are lots of folks who believe that you have the absolute right to make this decision. They won't help you actually do it, but they can certainly hold your hand.

Peace to you, whatever you choose.

Answer 2

A living will, for one thing, and maybe you should contact the agency that provided the dog and ask them what will become of the dog when you are no longer here. If you don't like the answer they give you, actively look for someone to care for him/her.

Since you can still manage independent living and enjoy your dog, I don't think this is the right time. Doesn't sound like your medications are doing what they should be - I sure wish you could get involved somewhere, though I can believe it's hard to take the first step and get out. Do you want to make any changes? Are you as content as you can be currently? What makes you laugh or smile?

I suppose your doctor knows your wishes? Make sure they're legal. Every day you're taking a chance, you might have the heart attack or the kidneys could start to shut down, but until that time, try to live like there's no tomorrow. Trust that you'll know.

Answer 3

You are only 63, and in poor health,but you are also obviously depressed. What a lousy doctor you have if s/he suggests that Real Age is correct about your physical age. That is a gimmicky website looking to sell products. Your doctor should know better. I believe s/he does, but you are reading "agreement" into the sound medical advice that at your age, weight and physical condition you are at serious health risk with agreement that you are 84 and shall surely die!
You don't mention a belief in God, but I believe. Since you asked for general opinions I'll tell you that killing yourself means an eternity in hell. If you think you are suffering NOW, just wait!

You should talk to your doctor about options for managing and improving your health issues. There is surgery for morbid obesity and medications that can effectively manage bipolar disorders, which I suspect are driving your depression at this time.

You are also lonely. It is obvious. Arrange to go to senior daycare activities. Your city probably has a department on aging that can help you. Get a mobile chair to get around. Begin an exercise program that has routines that can be done from a seated position. When you lose weight your diabetes and congestive heart failure will improve.

YOU DON'T WANT TO DIE! You just don't know how to keep living right now and you are afraid. I can tell you how to keep living. One day at a time! That's all any of us get. Appreciate life. So many wanted to live a long time and died in their youth.

Everyone has something. I was told I wouldn't live to be 21, but I'm twice my expiration date and STILL FRESH!

Get a life! LITERALLY! You have experience and talents that could benefit someone I'm sure. Stop isolating yourself and you will feel better. You have already reached out to keep living by writing this question. Keep reaching out. People are out here who care and there are services that can help you too. Use your Internet to find them. Look up sites that address your health problems and contact them about ending your isolation--not your life.

I'm praying for you. God bless you.

Answer 4

I BELIEVE that you cannot plan the day and time until possibility within a few days of committing euthanasia. I believe in God and I believe he puts situations in your path in order to think about the consequences of your actions--tolerate life, and enjoy your service dog. If you are like me in this respect--your little dog has become your FAMILY, and you want the best for him also. But, I do understand the feeling of wanting to move on from this worldly place, for many reasons. For many people, my reasons for committing euthanasia would not be "good enough" but to me, it is my desire. I hope for you that God continues to bring you "joy" no matter how small, and you continue to live. When the time is right for you, you will not have to ask the question, you will know it inside, and you alone will know how to plan this deed. PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR HELP FOR SUCH AN ACT, THE PERSON LEFT HERE WILL FOREVER FEEL GUILT AND REMORSE, and may even become suicidal, and I wouldn't think that would be anything you would want.

Answer 5

It is never the right time I feel you need to get into a support group and meet some people. Sounds like you need a major antidepressant and it would be horrible to leave your little dog I think you need to stick it out for the dog or how can you be sure the dog will be taken care of properly?

Answer 6

There is no right time to die. Sounds like a devastating and difficult existence. I'm sorry to hear that. I always believed that people die when it is their time to go- not a moment sooner. If you are looking for a way to do it... I've never tried, nor has anyone personally succeeded here on Answers!

Best to ask your doctor about it, doubtful that they would assist in sharing that information. I've heard of people overdosing on narcotics and shooting themselves. To me that is a cowardly way to go and also illegal. I like to think, that if I would be in a similar condition- I'd want to end it quickly- but I see and hear of so many elderly and ill people that do not want to die.

Answer 7

look, i think that it is a personal choice, but on that note i dont think i should be the one to influence your choice. see your family one last time before u do this and decide hoo will take care of scruffy, and then ask yourself if u r ready to die. if the answer is yes, and there is nothing more you would like to live to see and do, then it is the time, but if there is even just one thing, go for it. enjoy the rest of your life howeva long it is and good luck!

Answer 8

i can't add anything to the others..but i was thinking about the senior center in your area....also if you can find some email friends...i have a poodle 11 years old..i cry every day about his passing on ....he's my best friend and has brought me so much happiness....he has a fulltime job..when i think as you do about leaving i think of sam and what would he do without me? i have to be here for him....i owe him that for all the love he's given me...blessings to you..

Answer 9

Try Blondie's song 'Die Young Stay Pretty' but note, she didn't practice what she sang...

Answer 10

Bananas...