Why does dating seem more difficult as we mature?

Question

They say that when we re-enter the dating scene when we're older that we're to notice some changes being that we've matured as time passed. Well I have to agree with that. Some of the changes I've noticed surely aren't for the better though. What happened to respect? These days I find that both men & women don't respect the oppostie sex very much. Then they cry because they can't find a partner to share life with. If a man wants respect from a woman, he must give respect as well & vice-versa.

My experience lately hasn't been all that great. What are your experiences & views?

Answer 1

You carry all the past hurts and pain from past relationships. You end up see too many games being played get tired of it. You also learn that you don't have to have someone in your life you want them in you life so you be come alot more picky. younger respect is give and never returned when you get old respect is earned over time. Sorry in the same boat and see the same things.

Answer 2

Sometimes I feel my chances of being caught in a terrorist attack or being hit by lightning is much greater than getting back into the dating game and finding someone. It is easy to say that finding a good partner is like finding a good parking place..... All the good ones are taken or handicapped. (No offense to the handicapped) Older people may have commitment issues if they have never been married. Divorces happen for a reason and sometimes after a date you may have a good idea what that reason was.

If you are lucky enough to find a person that respects you before you go on a date with them, then the battle is half over. The best you will ever be treated by a guy is when he is dating you so if he does not treat you right then, it can only get worse. I don't know if you have tried meeting socially at church sponsored events, but it is an option. I've considered going back to college just to meet people that had the ability to string enough words together to form a complete sentence.

I think the older we get, the less likely we are to be infatuated with some one while we date and maybe that was half the fun.

Answer 3

I hear and understand. I've been divorced for 4yrs now after 15yrs with a lying cheating, verbally abusive ex....I think as we mature we carry more "baggage" with us. So when we date we're more Leary. Less ready to open up and be hurt again. Plus I think in this age of instant gratification, people want a fairy tale not a relationship. I think if both men and women took time after (or before) a failed relationship to examine themselves...become the best they can be(a whole healthy person) first instead of expecting the "partner/spouse" to fill the void, then things would work out much differently. I'm finding that I like being on my own. With or without dating is fine. My friends and family constantly push me to "find a man" when I'm happy alone. I'm learning more about myself in my late 40's than I ever have in all the years before. And if and when I meet "a man" in the future, I will never again lose myself within that relationship. And it will be a healthy more balanced match. Because I will be strong enough to see the "bull" amongst all the cattle. LOL. I think men and women should focus on just being happy in life. Society places too much emphasis on being married or with someone. Surround yourself with family and friends and have fun! The rest will fall into place.

Answer 4

A wise man once told me that the older we get, the more distrustful we become. Some of us become jaded or cynical, especially after experiencing bad relationships.

Can't get blood out of a turnip, though. Analyize where you find the men you're dating. Quality breeds quality. There's no alchemy in human relationships. We spend time with whomever accepts us for who we already are and they do the same with us. It's not such a big secret, is it?

I'm divorced and childless, so I guess I might be seen to have certain advantages over guys who have children and/or who have an ex spouse to deal with, especially if the divorce was less than amicable. There might be other issues: health, finances, legal, etc., that might act as bumps on the road to a good dating experience.

Plus, the older we get, the more responsibilities we have or share. So we tend to be reluctant to throw caution to the wind and date just anybody seriously.

Answer 5

nicely Im 22 never dated every person, nevertheless virgin. the girls my age all are married or with toddlers, so I been sorta thinking to this point somebody youthful, yet i do no longer recognize any ladies now. Ive misplaced touch with anybody at school, I basically artwork in a small mill thats my existence. Now a 24 with a 14 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous that should be considered undesirable right here. The under pressure out issue is its felony for a 14 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous to be with a 14 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous.

Answer 6

I 100% totally agree with you. It seems more difficult because it is. I am 28, and I re-entered the market almost a year ago. I have had some awkward/interesting experiences to say the list. Respect, or lack there of, is definitely a huge issue.

I have 2 main issues:

#1. Where do I go to find a girl that I would date? Sure, I love to go to a bar with a friend for a few beers. I enjoy coctails, etc. However, I have a career so I cant be out and about every night. Furthermore, it seems that the kinda girls looking to meet men in a bar aren't usually the kind of girls that I would want to have a relationship with. I bet they feel the same way. How can one determine whether a member of the opposite sex is your typical bar sleez or a nice person there on a random night with friends?

#2 Girls seem to latch on immediately, like in an unhealthy manner. For example: You go out on 1 date, have a great time...and then, she calls 2 times before you even get home, texts all day, calls all night, automatically expects to spend every evening, day, night, etc. with me from the first or second date on. Seriously, it has happened to me 3 times in 9 months. The horrible thing is that 1 of the girls was absolutely what I was looking for. SHe was smart, funny, had a great career, responsible, great family...had her stuff together, but she literally flipped because I wouldnt spend 6 nights a week with her. I realize that real attractive girls are used to dudes dropping their lives for them. Dudes have probably done it their entire lives. Unfortunately, when you have a career, your own home, a dog, yard, etc. you just can't do that. It is completely unrealistic.

To the point about "crying because 1 cant find a life partner," and this kinda goes along with #2...I feel like girls like me more for the "ideal of me" than liking me for me. Let me explain: I'm a 28 year old dude, MBA, good career, great family, I open doors, show that respect you are talking about, etc...so I feel like girls latch on to the "bio" of me because it plays well to friends and family. It's like what they have in mind they are looking for to marry. I know, I have my traits in mind that I am looking for...so I sorta understand. However, they don't even really know me for me. They haven't sat on the porch while I am passing the jar and the old guitar; They haven't rode on the wheel well of the 656 while I am putting out hay for the cows; They haven't seen me come home from the lake with fish guts on me from cleaning a mess. You get my point?

I wish you the best. If you have any advise for me, I would much appreciate.

My only piece of advise would be to not give it up on the first date and don't expect a man to change his life in an instant...and remember, I'm not talking about seeing other women...I'm talking about life responsibilities. Furthermore, I would be skeptical of a dude that did drop his life immediately.

Answer 7

Well for one after you get so old you look for more sexuality then you do compatability, and some look for more the one and only the soul mate that they dont pay attention to the true ones there, are standards are higher because we been there before and think we know more then we do, so we turn more away or wave our nose in the air and think we know that kind when we dont even give them a chance to prove themselves..........

Answer 8

Its always sucked, yet it sucks more when you are bald. You just feel like you are trying to get what every dork around you has.

As far as why we dont respect broads, Because you womenwant everything, yet dont dont want to contribute anything...

Answer 9

I think that it's because the older they get, some people become more frantic about finding their mate. They feel that they should be settled down...

Answer 10

Don't' let it get you down. Life is always changing, sometimes for the better sometimes not. One thing is for sure you don't have to go out with a disrespectful person again. Just tell them no thanks.