if u know that u r infertile do u say this problem to ur husband b4 ur marriage?

Question

this is my problem now iam 21 i dont know what i shoud do maybe i never get married or .... plz help me

Answer 1

Of course you should discuss it with your future husband beforehand. Preferably before he proposes.

There are a lot of treatments for infertility, however, so do not give up hope. Adopted babies are always wanted babies, too.

Answer 2

I was in the same boat as you are I was told I would never be able to have kids cause I was infertile. I told that to the man I am married to now almost 6 years ago. Well hunny let me tell you the doctors were wrong in November of 2002 I got pregnant and had a healthy baby boy he is now almost three. And I am now pregnant again and going into 37 weeks pregnant. But of course tell him if you love him and I would always get second a opinion but both of mine were wrong. So maybe you need get 3 opinions.

Answer 3

First, you need to make sure that you truly are infertile before you worry about this. If you haven't made yourself absolutely sure, then don't worry--you are very young and there are treatments to come that have yet to be developed. You don't need to do anything yet.

But let's suppose that you know you cannot have children, whatever the reason, and that it can't be fixed by medical science. Then, yes, although you wouldn't go and tell him on the first date, if things got serious and you started sharing goals, then you would tell him.

But trust me, there is someone out there who will love you with or without future children. There is someone who will love you absolutely, unconditionally for who you really are. And you will have a wonderful life. As my grandma used to say, there is a lid for every pot.

Enjoy life. Discover. And never feel you have to apologize. Not ever. Because you don't.

Answer 4

My mom was thought to be infertile (she was told his by the doctors, btw) and told my dad this. She actually didn't want to get married because of this. She was married once before too, but I don't know if they divorced because of her infertility or what. She won't talk about it. Anyway, they ended up getting married when she got pregnant. Not saying that will happen to you, but even I mentioned it to whoever I was seriously dating (infertile for 5 years, myself). Do what I did: thoroughly research your options. Remember, children come by many types of miracles. You and your husband's little miracle just might come by way of China, from an orphanage that's often overlooked. There are surrogates, teen moms who can't keep their child, and infants being surrendered to hospitals and police stations. Even if invitro and other fertility options don't work for you, someone is waiting for you to become their mommy.

Both my mom and I were very lucky to have children after years of infertility. I think my mom even had problems with her uterus. But I'll never forget my research into adoption, and because my body and mentality haven't been holding up to pregnancy very well, my husband and I are even thinking that our last child will be adopted.

Answer 5

Firstly many people have been told they are infertile and go on to have happy healthy children. Depending on your condition there are many options that could be open to you in the future. There is surrogacy, adoption, fertilitiy treatment and altertnative treatment.

I do sympathise with you and understand your fears as I have had fertility treatment myself, but after 10 years of hope I have a beautiful baby boy.

Remember one thing, your marriage should be based on Love, trust and honesty. Therefor you need to be truthful about this matter. The one who loves you should be supportive and understanding.

Please do not give up hope, anything is possible!

Answer 6

Infertility CAN go away. And sometimes doctors don't know why you're infertil and you're body heals itself. Besides most men may like the idea of children and for some it's not a big deal one way or another. I totaly think that you should tell him I believe he has a right to know.

Answer 7

Is this the guy for you? That should be your main concern right now, and if I were you, I would get a "second opinion" on your situation.
If you really feel certain... that there isn't a doubt ...of 'no' conception, then 'yes' let him know what 'you know'....it doesn't turn you into a monster...if you love each other, you will stay together and work on this in the future...there's no hurry....Hey!! you could be our next Angelina/Brad...not so bad a situation...and you'll have babies to love forever.xo.

Answer 8

umm yeah.

wow are you sure you're 21.

If the guy doesn't want to be with an infertile woman do you think it's going to make a difference if you're already married or not.

He can always divorce you, you know.

Of course you should tell him before you get married and if he loves you he most likely won't care.

There's adoption and other options.

Answer 9

Don't get discouraged. If you love him, you should have a serious discussion about having children. Then once you know how he feels about having "his own" children, then you need to tell him what's going on with you. There are plenty of children out there that need adopting. You may get lucky and find out that as long as it's a baby to love and raise, he may not care if he can carry on his family blood line. The name will be his anyway. I have lots of friends that have adopted, even family memebers. They were each thankful for a child to love. I wish you all the best. If he can't handle it. There will be a man out there that can and will. Just keep your head up, and keep praying for the right one to show up!

Answer 10

yes, tell them b4 u get married. if he loves u, it shouldn't matter, but never being a father may be too much to handle. it is best to be honest with him from the start and u all will be able to work at this problem together if u decide u definitely want kids.