My boyfriend is in the process of a divorce....his marriage broke up because he cheated...he says he won't do it again...what do you think?
2006-08-04 15:50:09 · 65 answers · asked by rita 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'd be very cautious. It's his character that made him cheat the first time. Not his wife or any other lame excuse.
2006-08-04 15:53:37 · answer #1 · answered by Simone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on the person I think. I believe it is unfair to "stereotype" cheaters and say that they can never change. After all, an alchoholic can give up drink and a compulsive gambler can give up gambling. However, the fact that he is your boyfriend and he is only in the PROCESS of a divorce doesn't sound too promising....you guys really should have waited until he wasn't married anymore. Anyways, you need to take a look at the situation he was in before and try to see his side, and look at it from the woman's perspective also. Do you really want to be in a relationship where you always feel you have to look over his shoulder, smell him when he comes home, get hysterical over something that you're not sure is happening or not. Just the fact that you're asking this question shows you already have doubts about the relationship, and if you can't trust him now, when will you be able to?? I need to know, did his marriage break up because he was cheating with YOU? That's a pretty big red flag right there..............Bottom line, take a look at his history. If he has a long track record of cheating, get yourself out before you just become another check mark in this record.
2006-08-04 15:56:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you know mostly that would be a lie but not necerrily true k he is divorcing a marriage for you maybe he lost love with his wife and didnt know how to break it off just go with it and if some major stuff happens that you think that then i guess its true that once a cheater is always a cheater
2006-08-04 15:56:06 · answer #3 · answered by Britt-Bratt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most cases the cheating would not stop. He is still married, is getting a divorce because he cheated and is with you. Don't forget he is STILL married, even though he has filed for divorce. Yeah, in most cases, once a cheater always a cheater. What makes you think that since he is cheating with you he wouldn't cheat ON you with someone else? Think about it.
2006-08-04 15:52:44 · answer #4 · answered by The Nana of Nana's 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People cheat for two reasons:
1. They are unable to be faithful to one person or,
2. The relationship is not solid. Meaning the person is unhappy and is either too immature to discuss and work it out, or they love themselves more than the partner.
If they are unable to be faithful to one person, they will do it again, it's their nature. Some people are like that and are not giving enough to share a real commitment with someone else.
IF their relationship was not working, and they tried to "fix it" then there would have been no need to cheat, they simply would divorce and go about their lives. But, if they could not discuss the problem that needed to be fixed, and made no attempts to work it out, I would really beware.
Of course there are exceptions and some viable reasons, however for the majority of men who step out on their wives, it is usually a result that repeats itself.
Divorce records are easy to get copies of as most are public records. You may be surprised at what you find out
2006-08-04 18:11:39 · answer #5 · answered by jv1104 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Generally, divorces happen because the relationship is sour, not
because somebody cheats.
Of course, people may cheat because the relationship has gone sour
or that they were never committed to the relationship (i.e. it was already
sour).
You should ask yourself: How did he handle the cheating? Did he tell
his wife what was going on or did she find out the hard way, or what?
It is never as simple as "he cheated therefore he is scum". However, if
he tries to "get away with it", then you've got something to worry about.
You'll always wonder...
2006-08-04 15:54:26 · answer #6 · answered by Elana 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So very very very few change! I think it is always in them. If he has the will power to control it is what is important.
And by the way, if your the one he cheated with his wife on your just as bad as a cheater! When a person knows another person is involved they should put up the red flag and walk away! People who cheat with cheaters SUCK to!
2006-08-04 15:53:18 · answer #7 · answered by flyingbumblebee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Generally speaking I would say once a cheater always a cheater. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule.
2006-08-04 15:53:21 · answer #8 · answered by jasenlee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think it depends on the guy... The guy I am dating cheated once and I forgave him, we have now been dating for 4 years and he has been faithful. You need to build trust with him, then if he earns it I think you will know that "once a cheater, then he learns from his mistakes."
2006-08-04 15:56:15 · answer #9 · answered by Ashlee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Word are written in the wind. Once a cheat what guarantee do you have that he wont do it again? BTW/ if you were the cause of the break up, while he was married- watch out for Karma. It might not happen to you- but be sure that what you did will happen if not you to one of you children.
2006-08-08 02:42:11 · answer #10 · answered by gqenoel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I definitly think once a cheater always a cheater. Move on. There are great guys out there. I have one.
2006-08-04 15:55:41 · answer #11 · answered by sjhoover2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋