Is it a bad idea to consider having a baby while in college?

Question

In my heart i feel ready for a child but i know that if i don't finish college raising that child will be really difficult. Yet I am an ambitious person and feel that i could handle a child and finishing college. Anyone with experience in going to school and having kids please answer...

Answer 1

Ok I had a baby when i was 17, i graduated highschool at 8 months and had my son 2 weeks later. the father was not there. I went on to college and graduated with a very nice GPA. Let me tell you tho it was hard!! I had no money. Daycare is expensive, however i did get lots of grants and loans and ended up with a college debt of just a bit lower than my classmates. However i would not have been able to make it without my dads help, when i needed daipers or food he was there for me. I had to schedule my classes while my son was in daycare and make sure they were scheduled with time for me to socialize and study while i was still at school. I tried very hard to get all my studying done while i was in school and not bring it home. sometimes that didnt' work and its really hard to study with a toddler demanding attention. I had to be on medical assistance and lived in public housing and section 8. I did it for him tho without him i would not have gone nor succeeded. Whatever you choose, its your choice, but i would suggest talking to other parents who went to school and took care of their family. It can be done and i say to anyone who has a child and has not gone to school it is so worth it.

Answer 2

Oooh, is this ever a lousy idea. Here's a reality check: First, "a lot of money" doesn't go nearly as far as you might imagine once you're paying for diapers, babysitters and new stretchsuits every few months. Kids are a pricey proposition. And if you only have one income to rely on, any blip - job loss, unexpected bills and so on - can make things *very* rough indeed. Second, you're not married. Some adults successfully co-parent without being married, but it's rarely an ideal setting. If you're talking kids, talk wedding rings. Assuming he has insurance coverage, it will also pay your hospital bills and prenatal care. Third, life changes at university. It's supposed to. Right not this guy feels like the one, but with a year or two of school under your belt, the world may look like a very different place. Engagements can be broken, but a child can never, ever be given back. Babysit, or work in a childcare center. And get engaged if you really feel strongly that he's the one. But "really wanting" a child is not a good enough reason to have one. Grow up a little and build your own, independent life. Then you'll be ready (or as ready as anyone can be) to parent. Best wishes.

Answer 3

You know yourself better than anyone else, but the odds are waaaaay long that you will not finish school if you have a child. The facts are: a child will NEVER make a bad marriage better,and doesn't make a good marriage better unless: you're financially prepared and emotionally ready. Neither is likely while you're in college. If you're going for a career then you need the best grades possible to impress a potential employer. If you're just going to find a husband or because it seems like the right thing to do, and decide to have a child and let your other half go to school, THEN GET A PRENUP. Again, when one drops out the remaining, stastically, tends to feel they are being held back by the uneducated one and starts to shop around. You are left with children AND no education. Better to get your ducks in a row THEN have kids.

Answer 4

i will start out to say it's your life; it's your decision. that being said, i highly suggest you DO NOT have a baby while in college. reason being, you will never finish college most likely. well let's say it this way: the odds are not in your favor. not only that, but how are you going to give the baby the 1000% attention he/she needs? if you've never had a child, please take this into consideration, especially if you're going to be a single parent. my son is now 8 and the only reason i am having any semblance of a life is because he is staying with my father right now. i have had to put going back to college on hold (don't have time, nor resources) and also a music career. now i am at a point where i WISH i would have finished college so i would have a better job to support both my son and myself.

how are you going to support both your child and yourself? that's why i say stay in college and don't have the baby now because you will need a way to support yourself! it is extraordinarily difficult to hold a full time job, be a "full time mom" AND go to college. i can tell you from experience, you can't do all three!!!

do you have family who will help take care of your child?--have they said as much?

i love my son more than anything and i know you would also love your child, but you must realize here, it is the MOM who makes sacrifices. sorry to say but that's usually the case. even if you have a partner in your life, keep in mind that's no guarantee. i was married when i had my child but had to leave when my son was 3 mos old - i've raised him on my own with no help ever since (til recently).

just some thoughts. again, i don't mean to rain on your parade. i had a great pregnancy (minus the then-husband) and i adore my son. my opinion is, finish college first. the rest will fall into line. :)

Answer 5

I definitely think you should wait. Do you want what is best for your child? Having a child now would be selfish because you are not giving the child the opportunity to be raised in the best possible environment! When you are out of school, you will have more time and money for your child.... I really hope you are married when you consider this! If you are not, then that is selfish too. Children deserve to come from a loving home with two parents. It's common knowledge that kids with a mother and father are the most productive! The best gift you can give your child is a stable and loving home life! I know mistakes happen, but you shouldn't plan on children if you can't raise them in the best possible environment!

Answer 6

This might not help much, but I'm pregnant with my second child and still working on college. Most colleges have low- or no-cost daycare for those who are on a tight budget. I think you have to at least try to apply for financial aid, though, to prove you can't afford daycare otherwise. Check with them, see what the waiting list is, and what age they'll take your child. If nothing else, talk with other parents on campus or ask a friend who's going to the same school as you. For my final I brought my son to school with me, and since me and a friend's finals were at different times the same day, she helped watch my son while I was in the final. If you find someone else who you can trust with your kids (maybe even has kids themselves) then you two could work out a schedule where one watching the kids during the other's classes. I think there are even study groups of parents in some places, and they really help out. For pregnancy, I take online classes during the semester that I'm going to give birth, and talk with my instructors about it. While pregnant with my first son, I gave birth the day of my midterm and the teacher let me turn it in late. My father had also never gone to college before us (was just a mechanic) and he went back to school when I was about 6 or 7. He now has a high paying job, and until his company moved to LA (we could no way move there because two of us have asthma and LA doesn't have the best air, ya know?) he was actually making over $100,000 a year. Not bad for a guy who had kids before college, huh?

If your heart is telling you it's time for children, don't hold back. It's a little harder to keep going through with school with children, but most teachers are very understanding, and it's probably good experience for when you have a desk job or something and have kids. You'll already know the basics of having work and kids at the same time. Just a tip: breastfeed if you can. Yeah, it's good for the kids, but even better for your wallet. ;)

Answer 7

If you are prepared for it i would say. Finishing college is most important, for the education will determine your job, and therefore will determine the house and atmosphere your child will live in. I know problably your heart is telling you to do it; but you should also use your mind, and be ready to get the degree first; the job, the house, and then the kid. You should always think about the father you choose for your child, for this will have major influence on him.

If you wait; you will be even more happy when you have the child, and be relieved you made a good choice

Hope this helps , Good luck

Answer 8

This is a very bad idea. What will you live on? Student loans? And how will you get a job out of college when you always have a kid to look after?

Get yourself settled first, then have a kid. You have plenty of time, and maybe will find a better reason to bring another life into the world because you're "ambitious."

Answer 9

You might feel like you are ready, but you are certainly not prepared. Finish school, get a job, get married, settle and then think about having a baby. You need to be able to support the baby and give your full attention to that baby. You also need a father who is responsible enough to help support you and the baby while you are caring for him/her. How are you going to support the baby with school loans while you are looking for a job??? What makes you think the person you want to have the baby with can handle it now? Wait. Be responsible.

Answer 10

Trust me. Wait. You will be more tired than you have ever been in your life for the first few months of the childs life. Do you really want to take the risk of flunking out because you are too tired to study? And you will also be more financially established to care for you child after you finish college. Think about whats best for the potential child.