I raised my two kids alone. Her father very controlling and abusive and dont know about her lesbian lifestlye. She doesn't have a friendship with her dad. I do not have not knowlege in this area. I have prayed and ask God for guidance. She lives at home with me, her mom and, she is respondable and don't take drugs. We have a fairly good relationship but, when i talk to her about this lifestyle is wrong, she doesn't want to listen. She is private about her relationship. My question is: do i let this young lady is she dating, be a part of our lives? family gatherings and at home relaxing etc... thank you for your advice and knowledge /experience and prayer for my daughter.
2006-08-04 14:21:43 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
All we really need in the world is love and acceptance. We dont always like the choices other people make, but it is not our job to decide if its right or wrong- it's our repsonsibility to repsect their choices and support them.
Support your daughter and give her the gift she needs- your love.
Imagine what life would be like if you didnt have her at all.
Stop and think what she needs and consider putting your differences aside for the time being.
:-)
2006-08-07 01:14:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop telling her that this lifestyle is wrong. It isnt. All you're doing is creating more distance between you and your daughter.
It may take some time for you to accept that she is gay, and thats OK. Tell her you need some time to accept this, and I think she'll understand. Dont try to change her, you wont succeed, but you will eventually diminish your relationship with your daughter by trying to do so.
If she is serious about her girlfriend, then yes, invite her to be a part of your lives. Get to know her, and let yourself see that your daughter is happy and with someone she loves.
2006-08-04 21:30:20 · answer #2 · answered by mand 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her lifestyle is not wrong. That sort of thinking is something that could ruin your friendship and your relationship. Your daughter needs to feel like you are there for support and that you still love her. The reason she's private about her relationship is probably because she thinks you might scold her and lecture her about how "wrong" she is to have dated a woman anyway.
Let her girlfriend be a part of your lives. Get to know her. If you don't like her, you don't like her. But she could be a nice addition to get-togethers.
Just keep in mind that she didn't chose to be attracted to women instead of men. I believe it's a hormone that's released.
--Love is not based on religion.-- If you stress that her sexual preference is against God, she may lose all hope in your religion.
She's still your baby girl. No matter what. You are her mother. Her mommy. BE THERE FOR HER. She needs you and always will.
2006-08-04 22:02:09 · answer #3 · answered by darker_pegasus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your feelings that this lifestyle is wrong, but maybe she feels more comfortable in this type of relationship. If you want to continue having a relationship with your daughter, you need to love her despite her choices. Accept her "girlfriend," but you don't have to let them live in your house together. It would be like letting her live with her boyfriend in your house. Let them go places together like family gatherings. If this is a phase (as some people believe it to be), she will grow out of it. If it is truly what she wants from her life, then you will need to accept it and go on, there is a group called PFLAG - Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays - they can help you adjust to her life being this way. Good Luck.
2006-08-04 21:51:57 · answer #4 · answered by mom of girls 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a supportive mom. You don't have to like things the way they are, and you don't have to live the lifestyle. All you need to do is be there when she needs you and love her. It is probably killing her that you are always trying to change her mind when you speak to her, which drives her away. Just love her for who she is. She is still the same daughter she was before. What she does behind closed doors is her business.
2006-08-04 21:31:20 · answer #5 · answered by volleyballchick (cowards block) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter told you about her lifestyle because she loves you, and she know you love her. I know as a parent this can be heart breaking but she is living a good life style, and you are trying to be a good mom by understanding this. Give it time. God will help you. Love your daughter no matter what. Let yourself get to know the young lady she is dating. Give it time. My prayers are with you. Love your daugher. It's better than her leaving. Just give it a chance, and time... time will help. go slow...
2006-08-04 21:35:31 · answer #6 · answered by 1woofer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sure would if she was mine. You wouldn't be having this discussion if she had diabetes would you? If you talk with her, she'll probably tell you she didn't CHOOSE to be gay any more than she'd choose to be diabetic. She's your daughter and, from what you say, you did a heck of a good job raising her so keep treating her as your daughter. You'll hear a lot of junk words out there about it's a sin, and wrong, and degrades marriage and on and on and on. Those are just words--she's your daughter.
2006-08-04 21:32:30 · answer #7 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do about her choice of lifesyle..you can love her and support her even though you don't approve of the relationship. Maybe it's something that will pass. In the meantime I wouldn't keep telling her how wrong you think it is...it will just push her away from you....but that doesn't mean you have to totally accept it either. She knows how you feel...just leave it at that for now. Good luck
2006-08-04 22:06:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with being gay, Just because she is doesn't mean she's not your little girl anymore. Most people don't have a choice in wither their gay or not. If their was everyone would be straight and save their self's the hate and being made fun of. You shouldn't try to change her its her life not yours. Let her choose who to be with and who she wants to love and treat them just like you would if the person she loved was a male. Try to open up to the idea she is gay. She needs you to be there for her not to be against her like half the world already is just because she chose to be gay. Openly tell her that your not okay with it but you want her to be happy and let her try to explain how she feels about her choices. Also DON'T tell her she is going to hell or anything like that because of her choices. She doesn't need to change to make everyone else happy you should just be happy that she is happy.
2006-08-04 22:17:56 · answer #9 · answered by Amber 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is still your daughter. Be happy that she is a responsible person.If you want to keep your good relationship with her you will have to accept her way of life. You don't have to like it but accept it. The young lady is part of her life now and so that makes it a part of your life too Be happy for your daughter you don't want to lose her do you?
2006-08-04 21:41:43 · answer #10 · answered by j.macka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋