I've gotta break up with this man...but I love him..help me?

Question

I won't go into details as to why i have to break up with him....

I just HAVE to. I meant to do it a looong time ago, but I love him, he loves me, and he has been the absolute best to me. Each time I have done so, i go running back in a weeks time.

Please, no responses like, "stay with him". I cannot.

If you have been in my situation before, pls help

Answer 1

it's gonna be hard, no way around that. I've had to do this once cold turkery the absolute hard way. If he won't allow you to break up with him sometimes you have to be blunt and straight to the point ... meaning say goodbye, can't see you anymore.. don't call, don't write and do not contact me. If you have to change your number, email address and such do it. There is little comfort in what I have to say because the stark reality is yes it is gonna be heart wrenching... after you do it yes it will hurt for a while, but gradulay with distance and no contact it will get easier... don't go back on your word and stay vigilant about no contact. If it has to be done... sometimes it's done best cold so their will be a feeling of finality. Good luck and I know what your going through.

Answer 2

That is a really hard situation. Love is a very hard thing to get away from, especially if you're not ready. I think many people can relate to being in a situation where their head says to get out, but their heart says to stay. Unfortunetly, you're not going to be able to end it until you are 100% ready. And if you really need to when your not - the best (and hardest) thing you can do is to end all communication with him for as long as you need to. It's hard not to pick up the phone, or write a quick text message, but it's the only thing that will stop you from running back again. If that doesn't work (it sounds pretty bad...but) casually date someone else for a while to help you get your mind off him.

Answer 3

Looking from the other side of that, I dated a woman for about a year and a half until late spring of last year. We had a few times of breaking up (mostly my moving away from her, not the other way round) during that time. Finally, I just knew that I couldn't go back, and I had planned to talk with her in person, but she called me, and asked me just the right question to bring it out of me that I had to quit seeing her.

In my case, neither of us was married, so that wasn't the issue. We both cared for each other and were both free to make the relationship what we could.

Still, the closer we got, the more controlling she became and the more she corrected me when I did something she didn't like (my shoes, my fingernails, my tooth flossing, how many times I closed my car doors in the morning before I drove off to work, where I parked my car at her house, and so forth). I had one mother, I didn't need another, and I'm way beyond that after having lived on my own for many years.

So, I finally got it through my thick skull that she and I were never going to make a good match.

As we talked on the phone that night, she asked if we could see each other just one more time the next day. We'd already done that and ended back in each other's arms, so I answered that it just wouldn't work -- WE wouldn't work. It just wasn't going to be.

I've known many women who have said that's a horrible way to break things off -- before then and since then. They have told me that I should have met with her and told her in person, but I knew what had happened before and I knew that we'd only prolong the agony if we had gotten together "just one more time."

We said our good-byes that night on the phone, and I haven't talked to her or seen her since.

So, the only thing I can say is that if you must break it off with him, make it a clean break, whichever way you do it. Just cut it off.

I know that it's tough to do, but time will heal you both.

Good luck with this. {{{{{favoredbyU}}}}}

Answer 4

You obviously don't love him that much if you want to break up with him. You know there is someone better out there for you and there is nothing wrong with that. You may hurt him and you maybe hurt but why be with someone you that really don't want to. It doesn't make much sense when you think about it. Moving own will be the best thing for the both of you.

Answer 5

Its hard to love someone and know you have to let him go.But I can tell you without going into my own details,its better to walk away instead of knowing you need too.. but you stay ...than slowly your love turns to hate and hurt...on both sides of the game...so let go for whatever that reasons may be,but told about it..so maybe you guys can still be friends in the end

Answer 6

I can't think of a reason you should break up with him if your that happy!!was in a similar situation before but I was very unhappily married,I just had to ask myself if I wanted to be happy or not.Wel now I'm very happy because I made the right choice.I hope you choose happiness because there is nothing more miserable than living your life to make someone else happy ,please think of yourself,life is too short,have no regrets.Good LUCK!!!!!

Answer 7

You sound like a squirrel that keeps running around back and forth in the middle of the road until it gets run over. Pick one side of the road and just go there or get flattened.

Answer 8

if you plan on breaking up and you want to stop going back the best thing would be to not get incontact again. why he is taking you back each time i dont know. keep yrself busy so you dont miss him. we find we get into a habit with partners like we cant live without them but that passes after a while.

Answer 9

If I CAN'T answer that you need to stay with him, then I say Break up, and don't look back. It's hard, but I've done it before. Little by little it gets better.

Answer 10

end all contact and keep busy, find a guy that you like to talk to. just dont get with him or anyone else until you are completly over the old guy. the flirty feelings from the crush will help with the sadness and give you time to get used to being without your old guy.