i have a question about relationships?

Question

ok, i just divorced after 7 years of marriage to "the one". she had an affair long story short. i am 32 years old, male, and i have 2 kids with her. my question is do you think God knew this would happen, well i know He knows, but as far as me moving on does God put people in our lives only when He thinks we are ready? i live in a small town and i am kinda stuck here for a long time, but i think i am ready to meet a "friend"but i never can seem to find anyone. they either are married or have friends already. i feel i am a descent looking guy but maybe my self esteem is kinda low and it shows, i dont know. Anyway i want to know your opinion if God places certain people in our lives at just the right time or is it all just circumstance? how will i trust again? do i need to look for someone or will it just "happen"? i am really confused, so honest opinions only please, thank you

Answer 1

God brings people into our lives. The problem is, these people have a free will to choose. That means they can choose both good or evil paths. God will not interfere with this, because free will is extremely important. Did God know? Being God, He could not help but know, but that still does not keep His heart from breaking for you. God hates divorce because it destroys families and also distorts His type of Christ and the church.
For you, God will use this as a crucible experience. Yes, the crucible is hot and uncomfortable, but in the end, it will purify the gold that is within you. That is... your faith. This is why Jesus had nothing but good things to say to the Church at Smyrna in Revelation. The tribulation they went through purified them. Was it difficult? Yes. But to God, it was worth it, because what they gained was of eternal value. Use this trying time to get closer to God. In time, He will see that it is not good for you to be alone. Then He will bring someone in to your life that has had the same purification process, and whose faith is as strong as yours.

Answer 2

In my personal opinion, everyone has a destiny. Pre-written and foretold by the good lord upstairs. Mainly it's just a trial of life he has written for you so that you will grow. Many churches plead that everything you do, every action you take and every decision you make should just be about god. You were placed here for a reason, maybe your last breath will allow you to see it, but either way you'll in time know. I was told once, that if you take Jesus into your life and KNOW that he died on the cross for our sins then you are already saved. Make peace with yourself and the lord and try not to question the resolve or what is to come. That is when you will find your real answer. I was cheated on and also have two kids. It took a year before I sat down at my computer at night, bored out of my mind and met someone online. I couldn't believe it. we were 2000 miles apart, but now were married with a child of our own and one on the way. Is there a plan? Yes, but just be patient. Be yourself, and don't change who you are. Eventually an eye will open your way when you are not looking and your questions will basically answer themselves.

Answer 3

You cannot become obssessed with trying to get a "friend" but you always have to be ready. Whether is God or circumstance or destiny.....who knows? Just live each day to the max, and try to find joy in the things you do. I'm sure someone will appear. Btw, I recommend the book, The Zahir, by Paulo Coelho. It's a novel about marriage and everything society has taught us to be.

Answer 4

You sound like you're in a lot of pain and you're trying to find a way to sooth it. My personal belief about relationships that end, is that you need time. Not time to wollow but time to heal and time to deal with your emotions. God created us with the ablility to grieve so do so. God knows the begining to the end but he does not force. I know you're wife cheated and I'm sure you loved her enough to try to work it out. But don't be upset because it didn't. We all make choices in life and she made hers. Pray for her and yourself and your children. Find your strengh in God and he will see you through no matter how hard.

I also want to address your friend issue. You say you are looking for "a friend". Many people use this word loosely, but a friend is someone who is there for you no matter what and has your best interest at heart. Are you looking for that or are you trying to start over becasue those are very different things. You need to think about it first and make sure you're ready to move on and have some one new in your life. I've been divorced since 2002 and I didn't start dating anyone till 2004. I just needed time. You may not need that much time but if its all still fresh you probably want to stick with just have people who care about you and know you well enough to deal with the emotions you are going through

Answer 5

After getting divorced about 5 years ago, I got so lonely, and depressed, I really had difficulty going on, and was beginning to have suicidal thoughts. I began to pray for someone to come into my life to love once again. I know that my prayers were answered, because I soon met the wonderful woman I still love to this day. Pray for God's will to be done in your life. If He wishes to send someone into your life, He will.

Answer 6

Don't blame yourself for your wife's foolish choices. Move forward and keep looking. And "no" I don't think it will just happen, keep meeting new people. Yes. you can trust again but be WISE about it. Pay attention to the person't character not just how you feel. I believe God is aware of circumstances that are put before us, but He also gave us FREEWILL.

Answer 7

I'm not sure what to say, I've never came close to being in a situation like that but I do know God wouldn't give us anything we couldn't handle. Pray to him about it! Listen to what he has to say.
And this is one of my favorite quotes,
"Your heart should be so lost in God, that for a guy to find you, he should have to look there."
I know it's girl wise, but you can still use it!
Hope this helps,
God Bless!

Answer 8

My mother believes that just because some people decide to marry each other they may not be marrying the "right" person that's supposed to be for them. They jumped the gun.

Answer 9

i think it will just happen at the right time.

the day you feel comfortable and happy in your own skin, the right person will come to you.

you have much to heal and someone worthy will come into your life only when you have healed and learnt to trust in love again, be in love with life, with everyday "miracles", only then can the magic happen again.

Answer 10

When I stopped looking, I found someone. 3 accually..of course I only chose one. God wants what is best for us, but He knows what is better for us, better than WE do! Who knows, maybe He is waiting for you and Him to get closer before He lets you get close to someone else.