my and my bf have been together for 3 years since freshmen year and now were seniors. im really crushin on this new guy. but i've tried to break with him in the past, but each time he comes back crying and WONT LEAVE until i take him back. he litterly crys' and wont even let me go until i say yes. I really dont feel a strong love connection with him, i love him but i am simply not IN love with him. im afraid to tell him because i am afraid he will like hurt himself or something. please help i dont know what to do!
2006-08-04 10:50:54 · 22 answers · asked by tiff1234 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Listen to --- "50 ways to leave your lover"
2006-08-04 10:55:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you picture doing this back and forth the the rest of your life? If not then stick to your guns, otherwise you'll never get to move on to other things in life. You're young, can you picture being together forever? Assuming you said "no", then let a break up be a break up, not a pause.
2006-08-04 17:58:54 · answer #2 · answered by crpprc2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write a Dear John letter (a break-up letter)
Explain that you do not have romantic feelings for him, and, for that reason, you have moved on.
Tell him he is a nice guy and you wish him well, but, your life has to move forward, unfortunately, without him.
You cannot be his jailer or keeper. If someone is going to hurt themselves, they will do it, if you are in, or out, of their life.
He is the type of person that you cannot communicate with in person, that's why a letter is best, mail it, don't give it to him.
Thank him for the wonderful times you shared, and hope he will create fond memories with someone else.
More or less whatever you feel comfortable saying.
2006-08-04 18:08:52 · answer #3 · answered by newyorkgal71 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two have developed a codependence fix, which you may or may not be able to break on your own. Consult a trusted therapist (with or without him). Love is not based on pity or manipulation. And you seem to let him manipulate you very easily. The question you should be asking yourself is what it is that drives you to be manipulated, what it's that you need that you give up control over yourself through manipulation.
Unless you address the source of this issue, you'll be in and out of codependent relationships for years to come.
2006-08-04 17:58:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to break up with him completely. As much as this may be hard to do, you need to talk to his mom and dad because he is not mentally healthy, and it is THEIR responsibility to help him get over you (and to deal with life in general). Tell them you don't want to hurt him but that you need to move on and you fear for him. At all times, though, remember that you are not responsible for his happiness (he is).
As for the new guy you're scammin' on (what we called it 20 or so years ago), don't go for him right after you break up with your BF because others will think you're heartless, including the new guy. And, if things don't work out with the new guy, do NOT try to get your BF back.
Good luck.
2006-08-04 18:00:31 · answer #5 · answered by frankiquilts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you have a raging case of butt warts that you got by cheating on him with a transvestite hooker. That ought to do the trick. If not just simply tell him you need space and block his # on your phone and don't go to the same hangout spots for awhile. He will get the hint, if not tell him he is a loser crybaby and to get a life. One of these sure fire ways ought to ease the break up for you. Good luck.:)
2006-08-04 17:58:45 · answer #6 · answered by Philip B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try this. Tell him you want to get married and he will have to hold down two jobs to support you as you don't feel like working; and your mother will be moving in with the both of you as she is tired of working also. If you have any layabout brothers include them in the move in. Tell him you breathlessly await his answer. You may never see him again.
2006-08-04 17:56:42 · answer #7 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with him, and talk with his parents, make him understand and tell him the truth ( I don't have a connection with you anymore ) I do love you but I'm not in love with you and this is making me unhappy I need to break up but we can be friends and I promise that...simple and short
2006-08-04 17:56:17 · answer #8 · answered by Ness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't take him back. Period. break it off, dont return calls, refuse to see him, and if you think he is seriously going to hurt himself, tell his parents or a counselor to watch out for him. Staying with him when you dont want to be with him just makes it worse.
2006-08-04 17:57:05 · answer #9 · answered by Jadeba12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to be honest with him and tell him how you feel, what he does after that is not your fault he is making you stay in a relationship by making you feel guilty and that is only hurting you. You need to be happy and your young so is he. He will get over it eventually and move on too. but dont feel guilty for how you feel and DONT LET HIM MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY...
2006-08-04 17:56:39 · answer #10 · answered by sassy_girl200501 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good God what a whimp! Tell his whiny A s s to leave you alone or get a new boyfriend to beat him down.
2006-08-04 17:55:23 · answer #11 · answered by david r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋