How honest should I have been with him about my recent boyfriends?

Question

I went out with a guy last night and ended up going to his place after dinner, a movie and a few beers. He asked me about the guys I have seen and was a little upset that I had gone out with black men. After a while, he got over it and we ended up fooling around a bit (he is white). Once we got into bed (with the understanding that we wouldn't go all the way), he asked me if he was 'as big as the black guys I had done it with.'

I do have to say that I think this guy was a perfectly adequate size and wasn't thinking anything negative about it. But when he asked me, almost without thinking, I made a comment that made it clear that my latest 'black' boyfriend was quite huge.

He immediately stopped and , although I felt bad, have to wonder about his intentions in asking.

Did he want me to be honest or not. I'm really confused.

A little more info: he only asked about the other guys because there is no 'agreement' between us that we can't date other people. So I guess I didn't think it was a big deal that he asked.
And if it wasn't in the middle of foreplay, I probably would have been able to deflect the situation, but the q & a was a bit more complicated, like him asking: 'Am I as big as those black guys you did it with?' and me hesitating for a bit and thinking: 'Well, the guys I have been out with lately hae been pretty damn big (one as big around as my wrist),' so I guess it was the 'surprise' of it all that got me...

Answer 1

well its true that black guys do have big *****...but maybe the white guy just wanted to show you that he was better...maybe he thought that you wouldn't want to do it with him. remeber always use condoms.

Answer 2

Honesty is supposed to set you free...right? He asked, he didn't like the answer...plain and simple. It is not your job to protect him from the truth. I think he was just interested because of the prevailing myth (and that is exactly what it is) that black men are somehow better endowed than white men. Could you have worded it differently? I don't know...does it matter? Sounds like size really makes little difference to you. Is there anything you could have added? Perhaps. Perhaps you could have said that you've had bigger, but you've had your fair share of black and white men that were the same or smaller. You may have said something like that and then said, maybe we we can find out how well you know how to use yours. The reality is, it isn't your fault. It was a bad question that he set himself up for. He shouldn't and really may not have been upset with you but upset over his own insecurities. So...in closing...always tell the truth, but understand why someone may be upset with the truth. Have fun! Later, Matt.

Answer 3

Your only going to get yourself in trouble sharing any past experiences. Its none of his business in the first place and in the second place none of them can handle it. One rule of thumb when it comes to men and their penis......there's always has to be the biggest and best you ever had. They cant handle anything else. So NO, he doesn't want the truth unless the truth is that he's the biggest. I think most non-black men have the fear of size competition with a black guy.

Answer 4

This is just some immature guy that just wanted to hear that he was the biggest. For some reason they like to hear it. I've had it happen before but oh well, they asked and they were told the truth too bad.

Guys can be very sensitive about the penis size subject but oh well they can deal with it.

Answer 5

A guy asking that is the equivalent of a girl asking, "Does this make me look fat?" Always lie, lie and lie when confronted with those questions.

He sounds insecure and a little weird. Are you sure you like this guy? If he is already having problems like that, he may not be the right man for you.

It could lead to future jealousy issues. I would be careful if you decide to keep dating him.

Answer 6

no this guy is an idiot. if he cared about you...why would he care about the size of another man's penis? and the racist issue...come on....thats dumb. grow up a bit. if you want to get a girl in to bed...dont talk about someone else's penis...it kind of kills the mood a little bit ... how old is this guy? i think there are a lot better men out then this guy.....

i think you have more self respect than being with some guy that gets in an argument with you over things you have done in the past...just because it was with someone other than his color. thats retarded and to bring it up in bed....very retarded.

i would look for someone else. this guy is an idiot. he cares more about the ***** you have slept with rather than you. :( no good :(

Answer 7

Be straightforward and tell him precisely what you basically stated right here. "i found out I in basic terms enjoyed him as a chum. i grow to be extremely flattered via him asking, yet on the turn edge i do no longer think of i'm waiting to have a boyfriend."

Answer 8

You fool... Most of the time guys will only ask you personal questions about your past if they're obsessed or insecure, both are bad! They're NOT asking because they just "want to know". Evasive answers are best, don't feed their insecurities. (Well, it's best to not hang around obsessive or insecure dudes to begin with!)

Answer 9

Guys are such weiners ( pun intended). It's like when girls pull the "do I look fat in this." They make fun of us because you always answer it with "no" regardless. It's the same way with penis questions.
I've found it's best to say whatever the guy wants to hear when it comes to penis issues. They can be so SENSITIVE!

Answer 10

Anyone who is that caught up in your past needs to keep on walking past you...you don't need that kinda guy....he sounds like a controlling as*hole why would you have even had sex with him.......stay away from him and find someone who is more your style without being an as*.