Should I call her?

Question

I played a show the other night for about 450 people and they all loved it. I had a couple of girls come up and talk to me. One of them, who I think is really nice, and hot as jabenero pepper, gave me her number that night and we really hit it off. I haven't really wanted a girlfriend, but this girl is really great. She's funny, loves my music, and has an all around great personality. It's hard to find girls that have a great personality AND are that hot. But here's the kicker- she has two kids(boys) age 3 and 6. I love kids, and they're both in a great age group in my opinion, should she ever decide to introduce me to them. I mean I seriously love kids alot. I've really been looking forward to having my own. I wouldn't mind being with someone who's already got 2 of them, except I don't know if I'm ready to deal with the ex-husband stuff. Maybe she doesn't have that problem, I don't know yet. But my point is, should I jump into this without having experienced life first? I'm almost 26.

Answer 1

First, do reverse look up on the number, and make sure it's her number, or find out if she's living on with her mother, etc.

Personally, I think she is being selfish, and not putting her kids first. She should put her own love life on hold, and focus on raising the boys for a few years.

The two of you might be attracted to each other, even compatible. But, you live in two completely different worlds.

You are smart enough to think twice, it's about a lot more than someone hot. At those ages, kids are consuming. It would be hard (though not impossible) to make things work.

You clearly have an evening lifestyle, kids are schedule oriented.

Gut reaction? No. Find someone you can share the joy of your first child with.
good luck!

Answer 2

Well, if you go for it, it will be a learning experience. Maybe the ex-husband is not in her life, You didn't mention that, so we don't know, but if he's not, there's one thing you can scratch off the list. If he's still in touch with the ex and kids, find out what the relationship is like. You're not going to marry the girl just yet. You've got to get to know her first and see what it's like. Just do everything at the right time, or when you feel it's right. Meet the kids when you both feel it's time. Don't make the kids meet you if it's all going to end soon. Just take your time.

Answer 3

If you like her and you guys hit it off and kids aren't an issue and the only thing that is stopping you is a possibly intervening ex-husband, then what is really stopping you? And if you are honestly thinking that you need to 'experience life more', what do you think life is really about? It's about our dealings in life and relationships with fellow human beings. Just because you get settled down shouldn't mean that you don't experience life anymore. Actually I had more of a life after I had my son then before. I've experienced more in the past 3 years since I have been with my fiancee then the 29 years before that.

Go for it!!!

Answer 4

Hi numb to you,
Wow, are you a smart guy!...(not just idle flattery either...)
And it's very good that you are being so careful about what you do and say.
That is a good life strategy. I am very sure that you can handle the task of calling on this girl, but you're right to consider her life situation and yours.
If she is divorced with two small kids then for sure her number one job should be the job of being a mother to her kids. Period.
And Ironically enough if she is overly interested in dating and finding new love relationships then that is a negative sign. (Character does count, I'm sure your aware of this)
I wish you luck of course because you're going to call and see how it works out.
Take care. and keep an open and positive mindset!

by the way...will u all pick this answer as the best. U R sweet if u do.
thin-Q vry mch!

Answer 5

I've dated someone with twin girls around that age before and I'm 25. First and foremost, mature your friendship before analyzing a relationship with her in the future. It's great that you love kids, but don't jump into a situation without learning more about her goals, priorities, expectations, values (religion if applicable) and all that other good stuff that will definitely involve her kids. If you would like to be involved with that in any kind of way in the future, you might want to let her lead the "friendly" relationship for a while before getting waist deep. Regardless if she puts her children first or not, you know it's "all about the kids," right?
Oh yeah, call her if you're interested...why not?!
Good Luck ; )

Answer 6

I have to agree.. to the comment on top.. your thinking about this way to far.. I think the whole reason why is because she mentioned she has two kids.. now your wildn' out.. me and you are similar I'm 21 having the time of my life.. partying and doing what i do best making friends.. I have been on both sides.. I don't have kids but like you I have met some amazing guys. who I didn't think would have kids.. now don't get me wrong I'm always very into kids.. I love and adore them to death
the thing is I wasn't and still am not ready to have one on my own so what I would do is call I mean if they didn't like you or have had any interested in you she wouldn't have gave her number to you am I right? and since she's into you she wants to make sure that you know things about her so you don't later find out and step back, I mean think about it.. it couldn't be any easier for her to tell u imagition having to tell someone yah I have 2 kids and I have no man.. I mean yes she's strong and her kids are great cause they have a strong hard working women as there mom.. but inside you know she's hurting to have a man who will expect her regardless of wheather she has kids or not..

call her get to know her... let her get to know you..unless you two are thinking of something deep I wouldn't really say anything until you to are ready and say that point comes let her know how u feel tell her that you anit ready right now to meet the kids.. cause you don't really know how long that relationship is gonna last and like I said to this guy.. you have a promise to make to your kids you gotta be there for them but for me.. I'm not.. u know.. cause I ani't married to him and I don't want to be a step mommy if we don't have something together.. make sure you too are ready... also keep in mind.. that u wanna be able to tell her when ur ready to meet the kids cause it's not easy kids get exicited and then they wanna claim.. even at that age they are smarter and will find away to keep you.. unless you can promise you will always been there

if you ever need help hit me up I'm Asha.. yahoo message [e-mail]

Answer 7

RELAX!! Damn... enjoy the time you spend together. If there is drama with the ex she will tell you. Dont rush things. She is clearly a great parent if she hasnt introduced you to them yet. She doesnt want to parade a bunch of men in and out of their life so thats good. Ask her if she wants more kids. If she doesnt want more kids then you know right there its probably not gonna work since you want your own. You havent experienced life at 26? What else do you think you havent done that you cant do with an S.O.?

Answer 8

If you like her, go for it. You'll never find out if you don't try it.

If it doesn't work out, at least you'll have a friend and a fan. Dating someone with kids is a little different and there are things you'll learn along the way. Just don't setl your expectations too high and just enjoy her company and try to befriend her kids. If her kids don't like you, more htan likely the reltionship will fail. I'm pretty sure you could handle it, but just know that there will be expectations from you as a boyfriend/potential future father of her kids. Not to scare you or anything.

Hope this helps and good luck. Single moms are people too!

Answer 9

I agree with Nefertiti. Go out with her if you like. You don't have to spend the rest of your life with her. And likely, that's not a good idea. She has kids, if she's a decent parent, she'll have little time for you. Also think about the biological/ecological view. An animal is considered successful based upon how many viable offspring it leaves. Do you want to contribute to some other man's biological success? Sure it sounds cold, but it's the truth. Beside, to take part in those childrens' lives is to relieve (or take away, depends on how he feels) part of the responsibility from their father.

Based on the experiences of some of my friends, younger women with kids are a bad prospect for long term relationships. Short term for dating is fine, if you can find the time.

Answer 10

It's okay to date her. That's the only way you're gonna find out those things you want to know about her and how the relationship will go. Be careful with the "kids thing." It can be good and then it can be pure hell. Sometimes it depends on the ex and sometimes the mother. Just pay attention. You mentioned experiencing life. Well this is life...and I think there's more of this type of life now than ever before. One important thing that comes to mind is your desire to father you own children. Is that important to you. Bottom line...go ahead...take a chance. Just be careful...27 ain't promised to you.