We get her every other week. I wonder if her mother isn't paying enough attention to her. She is 9yrs old. She says that I am so much fun. And she likes to call me mom only when its just me and her. Then the other day she tells me that if me and her dad have a child that it is going to have 6yrs of more fun. Do ya'll think all kids wish they had a different mom? I know I didn't ever want another mom! Should I be worried about her life with her mom?
2006-08-04 09:18:58 · 17 answers · asked by Jolie' 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My 11 year old stepdaughter would usually rather spend time with me instead of either of her parents. I know her mother is not neglectful nor violent, but she is a bad mother. I think that your stepdaughter is probably attaching herself to you because you're her other mother. Enjoy it. Provide a loving and open enviroment that she can participate in, so if there ever really is something wrong or dangerous in her life with her biomom, she'll tell you.
2006-08-04 09:34:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you shouldn't be worried. It is probably just much easier to hang out with you because you aren't her mother. When your a parent there are a lot of responsibilities and that includes stuff that kids don't like. Her mom probably has higher expectations for her and her and her mom probably get into more arguments over discipline type things. This is just normal. Her mom is probably pretty good to her but there is usually a big difference between being a mom and a friend. Right now I think you are falling more into the friend side though as a kid she doesn't realize it.
2006-08-04 09:28:19 · answer #2 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, my step kids did the same thing. Kids want security, boundaries, and fun in their lives. Your step daughter is old enough to notice the difference between the two homes. I wouldn't be too worried about what is going on at mom's though. Pay attention to her and watch for clues or statements that something is wrong - something serious. RIght now, she is just saying that you are more fun, not that she loves you more because you don't lock her in the closet and feed her moldy bread for supper like her mom does. If there are serious problems, your step daughter obviously loves you and your husband and has established a relationship that hopefully has trust in it - that she knows she can tell you if something is wrong. Good Luck!
2006-08-04 09:27:13 · answer #3 · answered by working mom of 3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes u should.... i think that's a huge indicator... if she was happy w/ her mother, she may 'resent' or be a little wary of you because in her world, her mother is everything. that would be Normal behavior, and it would be advice to you to "understand", be nice to her, blah blah. but this case is kind of weird...there must be something going on.. perhaps u spend more time w/ her? at the same time, at 9 years old sometimes it's easier for a child not to be able to distinguish loving discipline from "being a bad parent", and obviously if u are step-mom u are trying to be nice to her right? so i would slowly delve into the case, maybe ask her questions here and there, "why don't u think ur mom is fun?" stuff like that. it's possible she is being neglected because the mom is coping from the divorce, etc. it's great that u care about her enough, try not to spoil her; once u start "disciplining" her, she may just see you the same way, like "hey ur not fun anymore!"..... find out before u jump to conclusions...
2006-08-04 09:26:14 · answer #4 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there are no signs of abuse, then there shouldn't be anything to worry about. I think that because you may not be setting the same rules & regulations, she feels she's being unfairly treated by her real mom.
My, now 20 yr old, son had the same issues. except he didn't want to be around his dad and his dad's girlfriend. He preferred to be with me except when I laid down the law. If you and her dad start doing that, you may see a change of heart. It's tough when kids are a part of 2 separate families. They're torn in 2 different directions. Just remember, as a step mom, you still have to set guidelines for your stepdaughter. Don't let her run all over you.
2006-08-04 09:30:31 · answer #5 · answered by DragonL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe (if it's possible) for you to talk to her real mom...to see if there's something wrong with their relationship.
Is her mom, single, and has to work ...? So maybe she doesn't have much time and need more support?
Maybe like you said, your step daughter might need more attention from her real mom. She's only 9 years old, it's not good for her to forget her mom or dislike her own mother.
You ask question here, which shows that you care about this problem and good luck.
You can solve this problem b/c you are the only one who knows...since your step daughter won't tell her dad...so
I wish you the best for everything. ^_^
2006-08-04 09:28:42 · answer #6 · answered by Qbears 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If her bio mom is not a good mom she is lucky to have you in her life. I wouldn't try to replace her mother but do not put up a boundary as to how close you two get.
Sounds like she needs you in her life and I think it is awesome that you are so accepting of her. Keep up the great work!
I have never been close to my mom. I wish I had a mom to be close with, talk to, go to lunch or shopping. It makes me very sad that I don't have that.
2006-08-04 09:26:05 · answer #7 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well thats good she likes spending time with u.it means she really has fun when shes with u. But no u shouldnt be worried about her relationship with her mom. If theres anything going on between her and her mom then she will tell u. I tell my mom what goes on when im at my best friends house
2006-08-04 09:26:52 · answer #8 · answered by lizzy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-03 21:45:20 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may just be because it's always play time at your house. Mom has her all the rest of the time. She has to enforce house rules more often, apply more punishments, make sure homework is done, tell her no more often.
2006-08-04 09:24:58 · answer #10 · answered by t79a 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋