Girls out there!! How do you get an upper hand in a relationship without seeming too controlling?

Answer 1

Mr. Chivalry says, "Why would women try to get an upper hand? A real partnership consists of two people who treat each other equally and respectfully."

Mr. Chivalry has spoken.

Answer 2

Why do you need the upper hand in the relationship? That fact alone means you are too controlling. If you think thats what relationships are about you need some counselling NOW. After reading this question how many of you guys would date her for any other reason than putting her in her place? I know I'd advise my son to avoid you like the plague!

Answer 3

just so you know you dont need to ask only girls about this. And a health relationship between two people is when neither one or the other is the leader with the upper hand and the follower the lower hand

Answer 4

Thats an oxymoron sweetie. Having the upper hand would mean you are in control. A healthy relationship is a partnership. Give and take. A controlled man will leave and/or cheat.

Answer 5

Good relationship is equal relationship. You will dump the guy sooner or later if you have the upper hand, or he will run away from you (aka dump you.)

Easiest way to get an upper hand in a relationship without being controlling is hiring a servant.

Answer 6

Why do you feel the need to have the upper hand or to be controlling in the first place?

Answer 7

What I have come to notice is that the person who cares the least has the most control. It works! Drop the leash with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Don't call as much, don't make plans as much, even if you're not busy don't call them back right away, be less available, take more time for yourself, those types of things. I'm not saying that you actually have to care less! But, think about it. Think about a dog. If you scold it or stop paying attention to it, it comes running back to you. If you want your dogs attention it is much less likely to listen to you. Does that make sence to you? Sounds weird but it will work. Most often people take their mates for granted until they think that they are going to lose them. I guess sort of treat them like crap. I don't do it all the time but every once in a while I do this. Last night in fact, I finally agreed to meet my boyfriend for drinks. It was the first time we had seen each other since Sunday. He would not leave me alone! Just drop the leash. If they really love you and want to be with you they will come back-tail between legs!!

Answer 8

It is OK to let some things slide but u need to have control from jump, at least a little u Need to let him know that u are the best person int he world and the worst person in the world if he messes with u and make u mad. Don't let him slide on things such as being late, talking any old kind of way to you, and being down right disrespectful. don't be a b***ch about it but let him know in a way that he know u ant playing. Like I don't like it and don't do it again. take the sex away a couple of times, don't cook a couple of times. That will get them every time. HE WILL LEARN

Answer 9

It's not easy, when you want something you just have to make it clear. There should be no upper/lower hand in a relationship... Just communication and compromise.

If you don't like that then your not ready for a relationship.

Answer 10

Drop subtle hints that elude to the fact that it'd be in his best interests to give you what you want.

For example... lets say you're conflicting over where to go on a Saturday night.

He wants to go to the bar, you want to go for dinner and a movie.

You know honey... if we stay out late and drink tonight, I'm probably just going to fall asleep later. If we make it an early night... we can spend some time together after... *winkwink smile flirt*

Or - You know... I'd be really happy if we did -this- *wink smile giggle*