My gf expects me to know everything?

Question

My gf expects me to cater to all of her whims, without telling me what she wants. She wants me to "feel" her needs. I don't have esp! she insists that it would mean a lot to her if i just figured out what she wanted and act upon it.

Answer 1

This may not help, but here's my experience with that kind of statement. (I'm a guy and been married for going on 20 years).

When your significant other makes statements like that, yes, it's irrational and unreasonable at face value. But for us guys, the problem is (as the impeccably logical men we are) we take that statement AT FACE VALUE.

No, I don't really think ANY girl wants her man to be an absolute, 100% telepathic mind reader - because like you, she has lots and lots of secrets she wants to keep private, just to herself.

My guess is what's she's really saying is she'd like to you to be less obviously self-absorbed and selfish and demonstrate more sacrificial consideration - that you'd conduct yourself in a way that clearly shows you're thinking about her first and yourself second.

And that's really the definition of love - the highest definition, at least - that you are willing to place her well-being above your own and live, think, be motivated and behave that way.

Hope that helps. Believe me when I tell you this comes from my own hard personal experience.

Answer 2

Mr. Chivalry says, "Sorry dude. In a way, you should know her a little bit to know how she's feeling, sometimes. You're right we men don't have estrogen, and that 's why we'll never be able to truthfully answer the [What do women want?] question. However, we must understand that women are different and their emotions are the driving fuel. The sooner you gain a clear understanding, the better you can learn her and cater to it better, giving you a few more stress-free moments, and possibly a better love life, if that is on the blinker."

Mr. Chivalry has spoken.

Answer 3

Make it clear to her that your not a mind reader and that if she wants something all she has to do is ask. Sounds to be like your g/f wants to be a princess that has some ***** cater to her every little need. I recommend you tell her to grow up and become an independent woman because you won't always be around to do her **** ! You should really think about your future with her. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with a selfish little girl ? Good Luck

Answer 4

The only thing that I can think of would be to just do something nice for her, without her asking or hinting around about certain things. Emotional support is a big thing that girls look for in their partners but sometimes they can't just come out and say "Look hunny, I'm stressed out about these things and I need a hug, and someone to talk to.." You know? Maybe she just wants you to give her that emotional support without her saying it, it doesn't mean you have to have ESP or anything, it simply means if you notice her change in mood, or if she's talking about her problems, give her a little feedback, even if you really hate listening to all her whims, let her know you care by responding with feedback, a hug, flowers, dinner, advice, a kiss, just something that YOU know she would appreciate, and that would make her feel special. Girls say "I need you to feel my needs" not because they actually expect you to feel/sense every little thing they need but because they may need to be reassured that you care for them and love them by showing it through your actions. Saying the words, "I love you" doesn't always help, actions speak louder than words (to girls especially), and girls LOVE to know for sure that their boyfriends really do care about them. Maybe those are the types of things she's talking about.

Hope this advice helps!
Good Luck!!

P.S.
You're so sweet for actually caring enough about your girlfriend to get advice on how to make her feel happy! She's really lucky to have you, and I think if you just give her the reminder of how special she is to you, then she'll be VERY pleased. I wish there were more guys like you out there.

Answer 5

Sadly women do expect men to know what they want. Even sadder men come up with the wrong guesses. Men and women think differently and obviously you can't predict what her needs and wants are. Seems like you're a patient guy, have a nice talk with her about it. A relationship is a two way street and she needs to realise that sometimes she has to voice whatever it is thats on her mind. Its called having a mind of her own. You can't do all the thinking for her. Talk to her about it. Thats all I can say.

Answer 6

Ask her to do the same for you see how hard she finds it!

Communication is a great and very valuable tool to have in any relationship she is obviously lacking that and also has some "tv" inspired dreams of what a relationship is about. I suggest sitting down and talking to her about it and saying that that is not something you can figure out right now and if she still expects it tell her to look for someone who can.

Answer 7

Tell her that you can't read her mind. If she doesn't tell you what she wants then you don't know. However some things are self explainatory such as women love to get flower sometimes just because not because it is a holiday. Not only that but they like little surprises like dinner and a movie and maybe a little dancing. Emotional needs tell her you love her. Be there for her when she needs you most. Stuff like that. Good luck.

Answer 8

I'm a woman and I'll be the first to say that she's a moron. You can't be expected to "know" what she needs and it is also so not a display of your love if you do. Tell her that if she wants something and she hasn't told you what it is that she either needs to tell you what it is or she absolutely cannot get mad when you don't live up to her expectations. It's like trying to make a cake without a recipe. I bet she also gets all pissy when you don't do what she wants or don't get what she needs. She needs to grow up and get out of her fantasy land.

Answer 9

So do the same to her.

Say, "There's something I really, REALLY want you to do in order for us to make this relationship special. If you truly care for me, you'll figure it out."

Then sit back and enjoy everything she tries, and when she asks "Is this it?" say "Nope, that was nice, but it's not that."

And when she's finally at her wits end, point out that the thing you wanted her to do was tell you what she wants in plain words because you're not a mind reader.

Answer 10

Stop focussing on what she wants and trying to please her. Be more assertive. If she's like that all the time get another gf. But maybe she's testing you to see whether you're a real man instead of just a weak one who is trying to please her all the time. If something like that happens to me I just laugh it off. We men can't read minds and they just have to deal with it. Of course it's good to be nice, but try to make it less often and unexpected. Anyway she probably doesn't mean it seriously, but is she's dead serious, dump her - nobody can live with that kind of woman.