Would you go for someone who already has a child?

Answer 1

I'm 50 years old and there aren't many people my age that are childless. I met my fiance and she had 3 children, 15, 18 and 20 and this has not created any problems at all. I also have 3 sons 21, 24, and 31 and this is not problematic for my lady either. Sometimes having a family can actually help a relationship bloom and flourish.

Answer 2

Why not? That is totally up to the individual seeking. Sometimes it is better if there is no baby mama drama or possibility of the "for old times sakes" fling. I have a daughter and only once did that interfere with my relationship with a man. He was not comfortable when all three of us were out. He was quiet and reserved. That was a sure sign that the relationship would not work. He pretended to love my daughter as his own but in the end (8 years) confessed that he was not ready to be a father. I should have known because he has a daughter of his own that he very rarely spent time with.
In another relationship, this guy had a son and accepted my daughter as his own. To this day, he sends her money to help out while in college and whatever she needs she can just call him. We are no longer dating but are good friends.
It really depends on the person and how they feel about children. If they are more of the party type then it will become problems at time. They won't understand that you can't party all of the time because you also have to be a parent.
A more settled person will want to do more family type activities that will include the child(ren).
My daughter is in college now. I don't want to HAVE any more babies. If I meet a man with children, I will not judge him or consider the relatioship based solely on that. How he treats them, the relationship with the mother, and whether or not he can be open with children regarding my position are some the things I will consider.

Answer 3

Well personally i have done it before and i loved the child as my very own, even when me and the childs father split up i actually had the litle boy living with me for two months solid once. But about three weeks after i had taken him back to his father(i still went down and seen him every single day without fail-no matter how i felt or what i had to do that day, i made sure that i ahd time to go down and see little one) but then the baby's mother came and took him away and im telling you now it broke my heart and still to this very day (as this happened two years ago) not a day goes by or any time for that matter goes by were i do not think of that little boy, also the baby's natural mother does not let me see him any more which has made it a hell of alot worse for me and not to mention what it must of done or must be doing to the little boy, as i dont think that i mentioned that he was 36 months old (3 years old) so it wasnt as if he did not know what was going on etc, also i have been told numerous times that he still asks for me to this very day. anyway i will stop right there as just because i have had one bad experience does not mean that i'll have another or that someone else will have such a bad time, but the answer to your question is, although i have been through such heart ache i would still go with somebody who had a child /children.
Also my last three partners all had either a child or children. And i think that they are great, i stay in contact with them all apart from one. and thats only because they moved away.

Answer 4

Yes definitely! I've been through it already so I know. I was married at 19 had a baby at 20 and divorced at 22. I dated people without kids after I divorced but they just couldn't get the role of being a step dad. Now, I am about to be married in October and he has 2 kids from a previous relationship. It made our relationship easier because we both knew about kids already. Plus I've always wanted a big family. So, I went from 1 kid to 3 kids. Plus we are trying for one in November!

Answer 5

The only way I would ever truly consider that again is if I knew that the father was completely out of the picture.

I was seriously burned by a single mother of three kids who said all the things that I needed to hear to marry her. She told me how much she loved me. She told me how great a father I would be for her kids. She told me how much she hated her ex-husband and how he was out of her life for good.

After we were married she did a complete about face. She told me that she was torn between me and the kids father. She allowed her kids to drive a wedge into the new family dynamics and they talked her into going back to Dad, the guy who also happened to be addicted to drugs and alcohol and was a womanizer to boot. She also took away any chance of authority I might have had as a step-father because she always backed the kids no matter how right I was.

Needless to say, I learned a lot of painful lessons in that relationship. I love kids and I always get along well with kids so I would never rule out dating a single mother. I would just have to know that all loose ends were tied up between her and her ex before I got involved.

Answer 6

There is a lot to go into it actually. I said I would never, but I am with someone that has a kid half my age. Its very hard, yet fun at the same time.

It depends on you, the person you are dating and all the other issues dealing with the child. Every situation is different. Never hurts to try.

Answer 7

If you can accept that child as your own and treat them with real love. Don't expect the parent to push the child aside for you. It's called a ready made family.

Answer 8

If you can accept that child as your own and treat them with real love. Don't expect the parent to push the child aside for you. It's called a ready made family.

Answer 9

I honestly think I would be a little scared about it, not that I would completely rule it out, but I would feel like the person already lived a whole life and did all the things I would one day want to do soley with my partner without me in it. Like, I want to have kids someday and I would feel like they already have experienced that and it wouldnt be as special anymore.

Answer 10

Personally I wouldn't mind if that person loves you deeply,but my mom is old fashion and wise that she says females are crazy and think alot, and will always use or think in the back of their minds that you don't like them, or thats not your kid and so so.... I believe all people make mistakes, but woman should have been very careful and always stick with their men and know that they wouldn't dare leave the kid behind! Kid's don't deserve that! Make the right decisions and now back to the issue, just make sure you don't think anything else and know that they love them genunely and it's okay that you should have right to believe that they should love him or her because love is unconditional.