does anyone else's 6 yr old act aggressive towards other kids>?

Question

my 6 yr old can be downright mean and sassy when it comes to kids his age,,,not to mention us..we also have a 13 yr old and 18 mon old who act the same way...what should we do!! other than take things away!

Answer 1

Aggression in children is usually brought about by many factors. One of the things that we can look here is how we 'as parents' treat them. Remember that whatever we do in front of the kids, or how we react to situations or deal with other people, that they would emulate. If kids see aggression, and experience aggression right at their homes, they would instantly 'carry' on' and do the same things. It is important for us parents to self-check ourselves. How do we deal with our kids when they commit mistakes or do wrong things?- Do we spank and shout at them, or show other forms of aggressive behaviour?...I am not trying to imply that you as a parent falls short when it comes to rightfully disciplining your own kids but we have to understand here that somehow, somewhere, they see and experience aggressive behaviour.

If this is not the case for you, it could also be probable that when you were still carrying your children in your womb, your emotions and feelings were distinctly toweards the negative. It is probable that when you were pregnant, you may have been depressive or aggressive yourself. Whatever the mom-to-be feels deep inside, the fetus also feels it, and somehow, this will have a vital influence to his distinct personality. That is why moms-to-be these days are encouraged to take it easy while they're pregnant and try every effort to encourage positive thoughts and feelings along the way.

Also, we may to consdier as well that aggressive children who are not dealt with at an early stage, are most probable to carry-on their aggressive behaviour when they become older and would somehow pose some problems in their relationships with people. I would advise you to do the following:-

1. Check on the strategies that you use when you discipline your children. (it is best that we avoid any display of physical or verbal aggression. You can use talking to 'teach' your kids and encourage feedbacks from their side. Children also would want to be heard and listened. If we cut them off, and don't listen to them, children feel suppressed and express their frustration and repressed feelings through aggressive behaviour.)
2. Consult a family counselor / child psychologist. (forwarding your concerns to a professional could do wonders for you and your family and will be able to recommend research-based strategies on how to deal with your kids' aggression.)
3. Spend more time with your kids and encourage positive communication amongst yourselves.
4. Pray to God for guidance and help. (As a parent, you have the power to pray for your kids' behaviour. Remember that you aren't helpless. You can help change your kids. Of course, we are not expecting miracles overnight, but with consistent prayers and faith in God, and with a sincere effort to help your own kids, you will be able to see favourable results over time.)

Hope everything I've shared would be of big help to you.

Answer 2

The best place to start is by example. What kind of language and attitude do you and your spouse pattern before the kids?
Once you have this factor under control it is time to make sure your kids know this kind of attitude is unacceptable and will require consequences that they will not like if it continues.
How about NO tv for an evening?
NO videos?
NO games?
Extra chores.
NO friends over on Saturday?
The idea is to help them understand that these things are PRIVILEDGES which they must earn by good behavior, not things they are entitled to just because they are there.
Explain that when you see good behavior and attitude you will know they are ready to be cooperative and take responsibility for their own behavior.
By the way, when you take something away, don't leave a void. Replace it with something that's not-so-fun. For example, when you say, "NO TV TONIGHT", also say, "instead you will spend the evening cleaning your room".
This puts an extra emphasis on the punishment and lets them know you are SERIOUS about this.

Answer 3

Have a talk with her about her behaivor. It is probably learned and something that she is seeing from others. I have a 12 and 7 year old girls, and the 7 year old is the aggressive one when it comes to others. The only reason is because she is seeing what my 12 year old does when we aren't looking. The older one calls me and her dad names and says that we are stupid parents, but she doesn't say that to our face, but under her breath, and when her sister is listening and so the 7 year old says it so we can hear it thinking that she can without getting in trouble because the 12 year old doesn't.

Now, I ground my kids from doing things for being ugly and hateful with others. If she gets in trouble for calling someone names, then she will be grounded from watching tv, going to a party that she has been invited to, playing with neighbor friends, etc. If they are old enough to be mean, then they don't get to play with others. If it happens in school, then I will go with the school policy in discipline. If they have to sit out during recess and write a paper in what they did wrong and what they are learning from the punishment, GREAT. If there is a field trip coming up and they have lost the privilage of going and have to sit in in-school suspension, GREAT. Maybe the next time they decide to do something wrong, they will think about it. I have learned that when they hit a certain age, they do care about what others think of them and how they behave. Even if they don't tell you or act like they do, it does matter.

Answer 4

You need to use logical consequence when he is aggressive. Taking away a toy when he hurts his siblings or you is not logical. Taking away a toy if he throws is or is destructive with it is logical. A logical consequence for aggression is that the hurt person does not want to be around him or that he gets put into a separate area until he is ready to be gentle. Don’t use a time out. Time outs are a way for you to control your son but not a way for him to learn self-control. Let him return when he is ready to treat people gently.

He is trying to find ways to feel powerful. He has found the power when he is aggressive to others. Try and find other ways to give him power. Say things like "Look how high you climbed! You used so many colors on your picture! You worked on that for a long time! You did that by yourself!" These types of phrases are great confidence builders and will help him to feel powerful without being aggressive.

Invite a playmate over and keep a close eye on him, or do this with his siblings. When he hurts or bullies another child, go to that person and empathize with them. "Wow! That must have hurt! I can tell you didn't like that! You must be really (angry, upset, annoyed, hurt.)" Ignore your son. He will not like feeling left out. You can also have the other child express their feelings to your son. "I don't like when you (hurt me, tell me what to do...). I don't want to play with you if you are going to treat me that way." It is a very powerful message when coming from another child.

Empathize with your son when about an aggressive incident when he is calm. “I can tell your were really (angry, upset, mad) when that happened. What can you do nest time instead of hurting?” Do some role playing with him. He will soon learn to better express himself. Do your best to model being calm. It will take some practice and some effort, but he should soon learn to be gentler and respect his siblings and playmates. Good luck!

Answer 5

Children need to know how far they can go! They need rules and discipline. If he sees the 13 years old acting this way and getting away with it he is only doing what he sees as 'normal'!!!

Answer 6

Please check Your home atmosphere ....cooly.
Do you and your man,pals... fight-- in front of him?
Does he get special separate attention from... both of you?
The other kids nearby?

It may also be social expression... TV the new style of allowing bullys to be real macho heros...
guys off to war -- never cry --- and can beat up any guy!

Just to keep in shape.

Go see, and listen to, your son's school psychologist...there may be a problem at the school..
Ask the teacher to dinner! Make friendly gestures to the most important people in his growing life.... his age level friends teachers sisters brothers etc.
or friends with parents in the block near home>

QUALITY TIME ... is of first importance reading hour before bed etc....
NOT JUST SPANK ON BEHIND,.

Answer 7

Time outs! The minute it happens. Dull boring time outs. No arguing, no lecture, just - "You hit, no hitting - Sit!"
Longer times for older kids, less for younger.
You may have to lock in the 18 Mos old with your arms.
You may have to sit on the 13 year old.

Answer 8

You have to remain firm in punishments. Let them know that you have the control in the house, and that they don't run the show. Most likly they learned this behavior from somewhere....

Answer 9

eek. 3 agressive children. you should go on the dr. phil show. my neice is 3 and is like one huge temper tantrum all the time for no reason at all. i dont know.

Answer 10

I honestly suggest of all 3 of your children are like that and you consider them out of hand.. have a look at Dr. Phil's suggestions..