How do you deal with stubborn kids?

Question

Our 10 years old son (only child) does almost everything backwards or according to him "He doesn't like being pushed" I mean if I'd ask him to do something or suggest we go somewhere his response is almost always NO. I spend a lot of time with him "bonding" going to water park, movies or playing soccer under the rain, etc. Still when I ask him for a small favor it's always "NO". Or if I want to show him the right way of doing something he says no I want to do it my way (backwards) I mean I love him, but it's so frustrating... I understand that it's something normal for this age, but this was happening since he was born.
How do you deal with this "NO" thing?

Answer 1

He is a spoiled brat. and you made him that way.

You can't help it because he is an only child. but it is your doing.

You need to be more firm and consistant with him and not let him feel like life is a free ride. it tough love and he is not getting enough of it,.

Answer 2

Is there, maybe, a possibility that your son is afraid of failing? Maybe he's afraid that he is not able to perform correctly if he has to do things in another way than his own. You say you do things with him all the time and of course it's great that you show such a great interest in him but maybe he could be doing more things on his own or with friends. He could also be rebelling against the amount of attention you are giving him. Some children are very much their own person from the moment they are born, I work at a daycare centre and I've seen quite a lot of them. I'm not saying you should lose interest in your child of course but maybe he needs another kind of attention. By the way, I don't think it's fair to think that he has to do you favors because you take him to the park and stuff. You take him to the park because you want to, don't you? Not to get him to do you favors. I can understand it's frustrating though. Good luck.

Answer 3

Don't ask him to do stuff--TELL him to do it. Don't give him a choice where there shouldn't be one. Rather than starting a sentence with, "Could you do this for me?" start it with, "I need you to do this--NOW." Set up and enforce consequences if he doesn't do what he's told to.

Show your son that you're the one in charge so he learns repsect for authority. It sounds like he's spoiled and loving every bit of control he has over you. If you let him call all of the shots, sure he's going to love doing it and he's going to protest if he can't, but it isn't going to help him later on in life. Is he going to defy his boss someday because he "doesn't like to be pushed"? Your job is to push him so he learns how to act, whether he likes it or not.

If your son acts poorly, cut out the water parks and movies. Those should be reserved as special treats for times when he's acting correctly. You can spend just as much time "bonding" by him helping you cook dinner when he's grounded!

If you can, catch the show Supernanny and watch Jo in action with kids who act the way your son does. It doesn't take a lot to get kids to change the way they act, and everyone is happier for it.

Answer 4

Well, try doing something that he would like to do. Start by asking him is there anything he wants to do but never tried... Little things like that can help instead of trying to engage him into other activities all the time. It is great that you are doing these things for and to him, I am sure that he has a great life. Also because you are frustrated with this problem, sit down and talk to him about it. Tell him about how you feel when he is being like this. There is a bigger chance that in the end he will understand what he is doing better and try to become more open in the future.

Answer 5

Well, I just get them in the car and start driving to the adoption agency. They usually promise to be good as soon as they see the dreaded sign. If that doesn't work, I drop them off in the ghetto for a while and make them walk home. On average, they're good for about 2 weeks after that...so I usually just drop them off in the ghetto every two weeks or so. When they get really bad, I just lock them in the basement. We have a nice, soundproof door so I can't hear them screaming. I'll throw some chips down into the basement so they're not starving. Try different things. These usually work for me.

Answer 6

There's just no space to write about the specifics of your situation. I've worked with kids before and run across this behavior. I highly recommend a book called "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" by Faber and Mazlish. It's a great resource for changing how you deal with kids so you are less stressed, they are less stressed, and they will be more compliant because they realize they don't have to battle you to have their opinions and voices heard.

Answer 7

i found the problem right way... he's an only child. all "only childs" are stubborn... but then again. mommy could have had more to stop this ahead of time... i dont believe in only kids. they always grow up to be rude and snotty. but then again im the oldest of 5. we believe in big families. i thought my aunt was bad cuz she only has two. i have my second on the way...

Answer 8

I have to agree with spoiled.

Also you don't need to take no for an answer, remember you are the parent. What you say needs to be the way it is! When you say something, stick with it, no matter how he reacts!!

People today want to be their child's friend, and not a parent! If your not the parent, who is??

loj

Answer 9

your the parent right so dont take no 4 an answer u cant just let him act like that u have to take charge