If GOD loves me then how come........?

Question

he picks on me so much. Sometimes it feels like he has a personal vendeta against me. I've done some good things in my life. I served my country in the military, when my mom died I took custody of my younger brother, I'm not a criminal, I pay bills, And although I'm not perfect I do try to do good in life. So why do I have to dread waking up every morning because I don't know how my life can get any worse, but I know that some how today it will. I get bad news everyday. Sometimes I just want to scream out "God give me a break, I'm trying my best here". I know that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger but there is only so much a person can take. I just don't know what to do anymore. I have my life all figured out in the sense that I know what I want out of life. I'm not trying to sound like I am complaining but I guess that is what I am doing. I am complaining about how some people just get an easy ride through life while others have to fight their heart out to survive one day.

I just wanted to say thank you for all your comments and suggestions. I always try my best not to dwell on the negative, but as I said nobody is perfect. And it is hard not to question oneself and wonder if this is the best that life gets.
But I trully believe that "The sweet isn't as sweet without the sour".

Answer 1

First of all let me say that Nas' Illmatic is perhaps the best rap album of all time, so I hope that's what your name is in reference to. Secondly, here's a quote for you to ponder:

"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?"
- Epicurus

Answer 2

I thought about that before, why is my life so much harder than other people. Why are some people so lucky in life while I never get what I wanted. Well, I think I found a partial answer to my question, so hopefully that will apply to you as well.

- I am not the worst one off, think of all the children who can't even make it to where I am right now, hunger, lack of education, born in a war-zone. They didn't have a choice, neither do they have the ability to take control of their lives. I am far luckier than they are.

- When bad things happen to me, I keep thinking about it, I keep thinking why things have to be the way they are. Good things also happened to me too, it's just that I don't think about then as much and as hard, so it is always the bad memories that retain.

- Life is not perfect, the world is not fair, it is a fact and there isn't much we can do about it. The question is not why it is not fair, and the answer is not to be better than everyone else. The true virtue of living a good life is to find the little happiness in life, not to be grieived by our constant dispair.

- Don't assume anything that you don't have true knowledge about. What you see in other people is their level of accomplishment, not how they reached that level. A lot of people worked really hard to get to where they are right now, and usually other people don't see that.

- If someone is riding through life easy, eventually they will hit a bump and they won't know what to do. You on the other hand, is experienced, so a little bump in life would mean nothing to you, and you will be able to handle it much better than those who are not prepared.

- An easy life is actually boring. You have to trust me on this one.

- There are up's and down's in life, like a roller coaster. The key is, think positively, not negatively, this won't help you solve the problem, but it will steer you to the right direction. Share your pain with a good friend, and do the same for him/her.

- God won't be able to help you. I don't believe in God so I will try my hardest to take control of my life, instead of having life take control of me. (sorry this is more of a personal comment, if you are religious, then it doesn't apply)

Answer 3

God is still there for ya. You just need to let him into your heart. He is not doing anything bad to you. I think you are down in a hole and instead of having God there for you you are blaming God. But goodness doesn't make us christians. Believing that Jesus died on the cross for you makes you a christian. Thank God in you life for seeing a beautiful sunrise or sunset. Thank God for the warm air because in the winter time people are freezing. Thank God for your breakfast because somewhere in the world people are starving. You have to look at the blessings in life instead of the downfalls. Yes, you have been through a lot and so have so many other people. Just because you think someones life is easy doesn't mean it is. They can have struggles just like you. Someone may see you from across the room and they may think you have it all together even though on the inside you are falling apart. Pick the pieces back together. Life is full of choices and how we respond to things. If we lose a job we can sit there and be miserable or you can say well, a better job is out there for me. If you lost a loved one realize that that person will want to you live out your life and create happy memories for yourself. God does love you. Hebrews 13:5 says He will never leave you or forsake you.

Answer 4

I do believe God loves us but I agree with you, it sure doesn't feel that way some time. Life is so tough. You try to do things the right way and it seems like it back fires on you. I was talking to my mother about this just the other day. Why does God have to test us like this? What is his purpose? One challenge after another, it is exhausting and frustrating. I mean, we didn't ask to be here. All this constant stress and struggle, why?

I think it's people that make like tough. We(people), not God do some horrible things to one another. It doesn't have to be so expensive to live/survive but there is so much greed and selfishness out there. Most of the problems of the world were created by people. We make our lives complicated.

I hope you know that you are not alone. I and so many other people are suffering right along with you. Please don't change or give up on God. You sound like a very good person and I know your acts of kindness will not go unrewarded. Keep your head up and I will keep you in my prayers.

Answer 5

Well, if your life was smooth sailing, you probably wouldnt learn anything. Maybe your doing it to yourself? Do you notice any patterns in your life? What about thanking God for what you do have. Some people never had a mom, or a brother for that fact. Some people might not even have a house or a car or a bill to pay to make them feel responsible. No matter how bad it is, it can ALWAYS get worse, so dont look out for the bad, look out for the good, and good will come to you soon enough.

Answer 6

Sounds great ! You seem to be one among the lot when they say "When the going gets tough, the tough get going".....
The fact that you are not really complaining, and yet a bit concerned about 'how much to take ?' ...
You yourself have given the clue to your question in the last sentence "how some people just get an easy ride"... Doesn't mean they do not have any problems to face! It is just that they do their best and mentally come out of the problem , empty and fresh to fill the mind with next problem....
Sometimes, the sincere efforts to face a situation, by itself generates an expectation of some kind, and then if the expectation doesn't happen, the lingering of mind over it . That creates a SORT of fatigue. It is this shapeless , unquantified fatigue that is worrying you. Please try as an experiment, pour out yourself totally while facing a situation, and when the need is over, come out of it TOTALLY, and view it as if looking at some autobiography for reference, and information/knowledge. Your productivity rate will in fact increase, and with increased CAPABILITY, you will realise experientially, that really God loves you to be seen handling the TOUGHER situations each time.

Answer 7

Oh boy, I know that feeling all too well. I have a great big heart and I always wish I could take on every other person's pain. I try to do alll the right things and I pray and take the time to talk to God, but every day, like you said, seems to be a bad day. Did you ever asked yourself why is it that all the people who are doing wrong is happy and you that are trying to do right is not? Well, that is because the devil already have those people in the palm of his hands and there is no need to deal with them. He starts trying to deal with you because he knows you are worshiping God and he will fight you every way he can to break you down so you can turn to him. God don't let bad things happen to you. Sometimes, they happen to teach you something, but you are not paying attention. You are not giving yourself to him fully and so you still have to be fighting all the bad and negative things in your life. When you give yourself to him fully, things that would normally seem to be such a big problem and things that would drive you crazy, will all seem like nothing because when you can not deal with certain things, you can turn to him and ask him to take over and then you just put your mind at ease and accept whatever he has decided to do about the problem. As long as you still have to question everything about him, you will continue to have problems. I use to do the same thing, but every time I get angry at him, I started remembering the things he did do for me that I just seemed to have forgotten and then I realized he is always there for me no matter what. He saved my life twice. I never pray for anything for myself, but for my son. I always ask just to be alive for my son because I am all he has and the two times I should have been dead, he saved me. Always remember that there are others who are living a far worse life than you are. We spend so much time thinking about our issues that we don't stop to remember others and then we don't get to see how lucky we are and how our problems seem to then be so small. Don't give up and remember, you still have a lot better life than some others. Just do the best you can and leave the rest to God. If you take the time to go to a full gospel church, you would learn a lot more about God. The full gospel church usually take the time to speak in details about what the bible is saying. They don't just read passages and make it just another service. Take your little brother with you too because it will help him through the rough times also. With this message, I send my love and God's blessings. If you want to talk, just click on my avatar next to my answer and send an email. Believe me, I have been through a lot myself and I am still standing. You can do it too, especially for your brother.

Answer 8

I know exactly how you feel.. I was in your shoes until just a few weeks ago myself, when I accepted Christ into my heart and my life.

God is not picking on you. God doesn't let bad things happen or cause bad things to happen to you. Other people cause bad things to happen to you. It sounds like you have had a very rough life, and I wouldn't be surprised if you suffer from depression (I do too).

I would love to explain this better to help you out, but sadly don't think this place is the best method to do so. I notice you say that you try to do good in life. That's great! Everyone should do good in life, but a lot of people don't. The problem is, that just doing good deeds, and that sort of thing isn't how you reach God! The only way to have a relationship with God is through Jesus.

Accepting Jesus as your savior, believing that his death paid the price of death for ALL sin, so that we could once again have a relationship with God, through Him.

I encourage you to please review this short presentation my church has online, it explains things a bit better than I can.. as I am so new to it all myself.
http://www.eaglebrookchurch.com/yes/learn.html

Just hang on, have faith, there is hope! Live your life one day at a time, and remember that through it all God loves you.

Also, this past weeks message was very helpful to me, you can hear it here:
http://www.eaglebrookchurch.com/resources/messages.html?id=159

Answer 9

I think Jesus, or Jobb, or prety much anyone associated as God's favorites got picked on all the time. Tortured for lack of a better word. If you can find old bibles you can see where they call what new bibles call the "devil" the "mammon" in many places. Mammon means money, and America is a capitolist government (meaning money makes the decisions), who aims to force the rest of the world into become capitolists as well.
God gives no breaks. That is the whole point of religion. The weekness within yourself that asks for a break is what some would consider the devil that resides in all of us. Submittal to that weekness will only make one weeker. No one knows what they want in life. Buddah said that we should float like a leaf in the river of life. Trying to control, and predetermine our lives will only lead to confusion and disaray. If you truely belive in God then you can trust that he has food and shealter for you tomarrow even when the MAMMON says that he does not. Yes some people have it much easier than others. Some of us have to struggle just to qualify for the race. Some people are raised from within the race and get the best pole positions. When you qualify in last and then win the race they just say uh, you won. The odds you come across dont matter to anyone but you, once you are in the race. You can forget, or let them drag you down. That's up to you. You dont necessarily have to race. I dont think Buddah, or Jesus even cared to be in any competitions.

Answer 10

A lot of people think that by being a Christian, and being on God's side, that God will make everything good for them. This is not the case. Life happens to us all. God is not striking out at you, simple realities of life are. Faith in God, to my understanding, will have three main effects. First, it is essential for the quality of your afterlife. That means nothing as long as you are alive, but after death it will be the primary factor. Second, it gives a sense of comfort in this life. We believe that God will never leave us, nor forsake us. He is always there. As a comfort, this is something that we need to hold by faith (an example is the Footprints poem). Third, God wants to give good things to those who love Him. This does not ensure an easy life, but we do find those times when God rewards our faithfulness.

That said, I know how you feel. I feel the same way, most of the time. On a daily basis I ask God to let me have ONE day that I don't feel that all existance is against me. Sometimes I feel that I'm wasting my time. But all we can really do is stand as strong as possible and do our own part to be faithful to Him.

Answer 11

you sound just like my brother. I used to think he was under some sort of curse or something. The following is what I have tried to explain to him.....
God does not "pick on people". He has been trying to get your attention, allowing the evil of this world to "ruff you up"(to point to your need for his provision). Obviously, you have been living your life your way. Your way has been filled with heartache and pain. God has another way. When you understand what he wants for you (which may not always line up with your plans), and you decide to commit to Him, He will bless you beyond your wildest imagination. God loves you so much. It hurts his heart to see you living a defeated life. He doesn't ask for much. He doesn't expect you to be perfect nor does he expect you to change over night. He simply asks for you to believe in Jesus. When you make up your mind to seek Jesus and his ways, God will show you great and wonderful things. Good things will begin to take the place of bad things. You will finally know peace, joy, and contentment. God is good all the time and all good things come from Him. God protects us and provides for us.
Get your hands on a version of the Bible that is easy for you to comprehend and find a good church. Changing your life sounds difficult. It's not. Once you experience the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ and once you start to reap the benifits of having a personal relationship with Him(through prayer and daily Bible meditation) you'll never turn back.
I led a defeated life until I stopped fighting against God. Now I live victoriously. I am content.
Try Jesus. You won't regret it. And things are not likely to improve until you do.