Piercings for little girls?

Question

Last night, my pregnant girlfriend and I were watching an old home movie of her family and a little baby girl had her ears pierced. She was about a month old. I said that was crazy. My girl said that thats what our baby, should it be a daughter will also have. I severely objected and said that she should be a teenager before that happens. We got to talking about makeup and she thinks that a girl should wear makeup as a preteen. I think she is going to raise our child, if its a girl, to be a little whore like all these other girls out there these days. My sister didnt wear makup until she was 17 and didnt have her ears pierced until she was like15. She turned out to be a great girl and didnt rebel or anything. Yeah the other girls were all wearing them and my sister hated it, but she didnt lose her virginity until she was at least 17. I would prefer that as a parent rather than prep them to get married and knocked up as a preteen. Thoughts?

I realize that the 17 thing is old, that was not my choice its my sisters. And I realize that not all little girls are whores, I have coached youth sports for several years now and when a 11 year old girl has to change her thong to normal underwear before a soccer game, things are a little too "risque". Thanks for opinions, except the waiting for marriage thing and the bible crap. Save it. I believe I a can teach a child morals without scaring them into submission with a book

Answer 1

I waited until my daughter was old enough to request her ears to be pierced. (She asked at age 4, I let her do it at age 6). Only minimal makeup is allowed at age 13, and it has to look nice. If she looks like a clown, I tell her & she redoes it. More makeup will be added when she gets older (high school). Until then, we don't want her looking "tramped" up!
Good luck!

Answer 2

Personally, I would never pierce any of my children before they were old enough to ask for it and understand what is involved both in the procedure & aftercare.

Also, I would take them to a qualified piercer to get it done, not somewhere that uses a piercing gun - they can't be sterilised, they work by *force* (those earrings are pretty much blunt) and the people that use them usually haven't had the same training/experience as a qualified piercer - and good luck finding a piercer that will do a baby/toddlers ears!

As for makeup, I'm undecided. My daughter is only 5 and not interested yet, so I guess I'll deal with that as it comes. Full make up though, no way :)

You both need to be willing to discuss and compromise, with this and the countless other 'issues' (sorry, couldn't think of a better word) that come with being a parent.

Oh, as others have said, rebelling & loss of virginity aren't caused by piercings/make up. The way you raise your daughter and the values you teach her come into play there, sure, but really I don't think there is much you can do to stop it from happening if it is going to - people can raise their child 'right' and still have a child who is a total terror and people who perhaps aren't such great parents can have great kids!

Good luck & best wishes for you and your family.

Answer 3

If you think an ear piercing or make up makes a whore, you already really messed up in the head. Girls love beauty. Beautiful clothes, jewelry, shoes, nail polish, etc. That child is going to have her own personality and if it's the love of beauty, that doesnt preclude you from teaching strong moral values. Let the woman, be a woman. Enjoy the differences between you, don't surpress them. Your sister is an individual. Another girl who has no piercings or make up could become the biggest whore on earth. An overbearing dad who makes irrational rules would be a major influence in something like that. Don't see evil where there is non. Just because you knocked up your girlfriend before marriage doesnt mean everyone else is like you are. If you're a judgmental hypocrit, your relationships with both your girlfriend and daughter will fail. Be fair, don't sweat small stuff. Be the strong silent macho overseer that keeps life safe, smooth and prosperous. Let the women be beautiful and do their thing.

Answer 4

As far as piercing goes, we have a nine month old and we both thought it would be super cute to have earrings for her but we decided that it would be smarter to wait until she's older and we can use earrings as a tool to teach responsibility. No doubt she will have friends that will have this done and she will want some too. She will need to earn it.

As far as make-up goes we haven't had to figure out an age that's appropritate and we will use the status quo as a guide but just a guide. Once it is time she will be taught how to wear make-up so she doesn't look like a whore. I know what you mean. There are way to wear it and ways not to. She will have a choice to wear it right or not at all.

Basically I agree with you but I think you should lighten up a just a bit. A young girl that has earrings and wears make-up is not necessarily a whore and she doesn't necessarily have bad parents. They may just have a different idea than you.

To summarize: lighten up, but not too much, and use these "grown-up things" to train your daughter to be a grown-up when the time is right for you and her. Good Luck to you!!

Answer 5

If in fact you and your girlfriend have a girl, I'm hoping that with the concerns you expressed that you have decided to get married. I say this because it sounds like mixed messages are being sent. This "little girl" will look puzzled as she attempts to sort through your philosophies...asking herself to understand why having the earrings makes her a whore verses the fact that it's okay to have unprotected sex with somebody you say you love. I truly don't mean any disrespect, but that will send the message of whore! I know it can be an acceptable situation to be in an unmarried relationship. The important thing is be there as a responsible parent and instilling good values into your child. Having the pierced ears was not the definition I found that described the term whore. Control issues, maturity, and your past instilled life belief system could use a little tune-up! Good luck!

Answer 6

Their is nothing wrong with the fact that your girlfriend wants to have the baby (if it's a girl) ear pierce. As a matter of fact my one niece was 6 months old when she had her ears peirce. To be honest that the best time to have your future daughter's ears peirce.

The make-up deal should be judge on the maturity of the child, I myself didn't wear makeup until I was 14.

The most important thing that you should really worry about is creating a trust and bond between you and your child. No matter what they will always come to you in any kind of situations. Just remember that being a parent is the hardest job out their.

Answer 7

I am thirty-one years old, and was a virgin until I was 25 years old. I got my ears pierced when I was in 3rd grade and started wearing makeup when I was in junior high school. Little things like getting ears pierced & painting fingernails are okay, because little girls like it & they bond wirh their mothers doing so. But wearing real make-up should wait until they are at least 13 years old. To tell you the truth preventing the way your daughter looks is not going to prevent her from making bad choices. You need to teach her good morals. Explain that having pre-martial sex is a serious sin against God. And teach her to have a healthy fear & love for God. If you start teaching her these things when she is a baby then when she encounters peer pressure she will make the right decision. The same go's for smoking and drinking. And the Bible has the answers for everything.

Answer 8

There are plenty of people who pierce their daughters' ears right around birth. That really doesn't have anything to do (at least I don't think) with a person's values or their morals. Those are the things that a parent teaches a child - and pierced ears really don't affect a person's judgment or their rebelliousness...

You have some time to discuss the makeup - I think that around 13-14 years old is fine for wearing makeup. Of course, times will change and you will probably think that her makeup is gaudish for her age. It is just something that girls do to fit in with the crowd and assert their individuality. Dads like the natural look (as do moms), but the kids like to wear makeup that expresses their times and fashion.

Don't fret... Your daughter should grow up with good morals and judgment - as long as you raise her in a loving home and show her good values and judgments. Makeup and pierced ears are just a part of her look - they don't define her personality or actions.

Answer 9

I'm sorry but I don't see the relationship to getting your ears pierced young and becoming a whore later in life. As a few others have mentioned, it's all in the way you are raised and the values you instill as a parent.

Ear piercing is a cultural thing. There is obviously no significance to it other than adornment. So if you don't want to adorn your daughter with jewelry than you have the right to disagree.

My agreement with my husband was that if we had a boy he dealt with the circumcision decision and I would handle ear piercing when we had a girl. We just comprised!

Choose your battles wisely, you'll have many during the course of your child's life.

Answer 10

I think you need to find a happy medium and compromise. I am with you on the ear piercing thing, I didn't pierce my daughters ears until she asked to have them done when she was 7. I think it is pointless and mean to get a baby's ears pierced. As for the make-up, 17 is a bit old, Jr. high would be fine, like 13 years old. But limit how much she is allowed to wear and take her to the cosmetics counter at a department store so they can teach her how to put it on to look natural, not trashy.

Answer 11

Your such a typical guy! Just because a girl wears make and has her ears pierced doesnt mean that she is a whore. it is how the child is raised! Your sister isnt a whore because she was taught better... not because she couldnt wear makeup or have her ears peirced! And yours sister lost her virginity at 17... the bible says not untill marriage and you are having a baby outside of a marriage... So how are you to say whats right and wrong?? This is something your girlfriend and you will have to decide when she is older!