My daughter who is almost 24 is moving back home temporarily as she is divorcing her husband. They have been married only 11 months. This is extremely embarrassing for my husband and myself as we hosted a very nice wedding for them.
I am not sure what they should do about the gifts. Obvously the money has been spent and the proverbial toaster has been used at this point. Not only that, I am not certain she could even remember who gave her what gift.
What would the proper etiquette be under these circumstances?
2006-08-04 06:03:12 · 17 answers · asked by ? 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
By the way,....my husband and I are very pleased she is divorcing this man; and we are supporting her decision completely---we never liked him in the first place.
I just had a couple of nosey relatives ask me what she was going to do about the "gifts," since they had been married less than a year. Having no expereince with divorce I did not know the proper thing to do.
Thanks for all of your responses.
2006-08-04 06:40:44 · update #1
The only circumstance in which they have to return the gifts is if the wedding was called off. In this case, there WAS a marriage.
It is totally inappropriate in this instance for those relatives to be inquiring after the wedding gifts they gave. If any are still in their packages and the gift giver is being a pain, those you could send back, but it's certainly not necessary since as I said the returning of gifts is only mandated if there is no marriage.
2006-08-04 10:14:31 · answer #1 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 7⤊ 0⤋
It seems unlikely that there are going to be unused gifts or unused money from the wedding. It is unfortunate that the marriage didn't workout, however, I would think that those who were close enough to be a part of the wedding would also be considerate of what the two are going through at this point. Support for your daughter should seem like more of a concern instead of the gift that was given. Besides, if the marriage was longer, would the guest really think that your daughter should return the gift? I wouldn't worry about it.
Now if it was a gift at the shower and the two never got married... well that's a different story!
2006-08-04 10:41:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The gifts should only be returned when the wedding has been called off.
There is no need to return gifts when the actual wedding they were given at actually took place.
There should be no need for you to feel embarrassed by the coming break with your daughter and her husband. You never know someone until you have had to live with them, you daughter found out something that caused her to come running home. Depending on what she learned she will need you help not your embarrassment, unless that is the only emotion you are capable of feeling.
2006-08-04 06:15:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not consider returning anything - because in the end, you can't return it all. So regardless of etiquette, you'd be giving some people their money back and others, nothing. That's just going to make things worse. The marriage went through, and it ended, and the gifts are theirs.
That being said, I'm sorry your daughter is going through this tough time. I'm happy however that things in the end seem to be going in a better direction.
As for the nosey relatives, I would just tell them that unfortunately, their gifts were so appreciated that they were used a great deal within the past year, therefore you are unable to return them. How rude to even ask that!! Good luck for your entire family!
2006-08-04 08:49:14 · answer #4 · answered by ykokorocks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. The only time the bride and groom are obligated to return wedding gifts is when the wedding never takes place. Since she did have a wedding she nor he are obligated to return the gifts. It is completely up to them whether or not they want to split them, give them back, or fight over them in the separation. Once they were married the gifts became their community property by law.
Author: The Little Wedding Handbook for Brides and Grooms
www.amarryangel.com
2006-08-04 06:48:57 · answer #5 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No the gifts are theirs. The only way it is proper to give the gifts back is if the wedding DOES NOT GO OFF. If they do not get married then the gifts were for a non-occasion and are given back.
2006-08-04 06:29:14 · answer #6 · answered by doc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
quite than giving him yet another merchandise, perhaps provide him some thing for after the marriage. as an occasion, an afternoon out to someplace he has been wanting to flow or an afternoon with the adult men. If he likes to relax perhaps see approximately arranging some thing for purely before the marriage (which with the final minute making plans and family members could be onerous and a touch stressful in the days greatest as much as the special occasion). perhaps set up a time the place you're able to sneak away for a pair hours and do a boat excursion, couples rubdown or perhaps dinner and picture. in case you go with for to offer him an rather present perhaps a image album/scrapbook you prepare of a history of your relationship from once you met to your wedding ceremony day.
2016-10-01 11:36:08 · answer #7 · answered by stealy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough question since it falls right under one year. Obviously, anything that has been used can't be returned. As well, if she doesn't know who gave her what, then she can't return those gifts either. Did she not create a list of who gave which gifts (to send out the thank you cards)?
2006-08-04 06:10:10 · answer #8 · answered by Queen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no need to return the gifts. The only way was if they had separated before the wedding then you would return, now forget it. Enjoy and best of luck in the future
2006-08-04 08:36:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are already married so they need to keep them. It would be even worse if they returned the gifts. The only time you would return them is if they never got married. Thats too bad that happen, sorry. Maybe they will work it out.
2006-08-04 06:18:46 · answer #10 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋