My brother does drugs and I refuse to have him in my life so long as he does. Am I a bad person?
2006-08-04 05:45:00 · 14 answers · asked by semper_fidelus07 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No, you're not. You're brother needs help, but not from you, from someone more qualified and bigger. Sign him up for the military, one day (*if he doesn't die) he'll thank you.
2006-08-04 06:02:52 · answer #1 · answered by ooh_rah07 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, you are actually doing the right thing. My brother was on drugs for a long time in his 20's--and I learned that NO ONE CAN SAVE AN ADDICT BUT THEMSELVES....
I did just what you are doing. When my brother was on drugs, I went to college, graduated, got good jobs, then moved to a fabulous city... I dont drink, smoke, or do drugs. I had to continue living MY LIFE and being HAPPY.
I thought my brother would die, he looked sooooo bad at one time. But I realized that was HIS CHOICE. He was never abused as a child, and he had MORE material things than I did---he was very spolied as a child..So, I didnt feel sorry for him!...Eventually, he got his life together at age 32, got clean, got married to a GREAT woman, and now has the most beautiful, smart daughter in the world--my niece. MIRACLES DO HAPPEN..
Just pray, try not to JUDGE him & enjoy any time you do spend together because tomorrow is NOT promised..
Be there for him when he REALLY NEEDS YOU--so dont totally cut him off. If he ever calls you up crying saying "I need help--I want to stop", then help put him in a good re-hab.
BUT FOR NOW---YOUR BROTHER IS IN GOD'S HANDS NOW. YOU CAN NOT SAVE HIM--ONLY YOUR BROTHER CAN SAVE HIMSELF...
Peace
2006-08-04 06:27:38 · answer #2 · answered by Plus-Sized &Proud 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont project, it doesnt make you undesirable, it makes you somewhat perplexed. Me and my little bro have issues all of the time. he's two times my length and a couple of years youthful than me so its incredibly no longer situation-free appearing like the older bro. Now of direction i admire him, yet he has became right into a monster these days yet i nonetheless have not given up desire no remember what i visit be there for him i visit talk to him whilst he desires me i visit maintain his life, risking my very own he's my different one million/2 and no remember how a lot he adjustments (sturdy or undesirable) i visit consistently be there for him and dont project you're no longer a bad guy or woman in any respect it fairly is clever which you would be mad at him of direction, yet i comprehend how ur brother feels, i'm the older one too and that i comprehend for a reality that he's actual sorry and that he's fairly attempting to be a sturdy function variety no remember what proportion cases he would **** up. Its in simple terms all as much as you, are you going to grant him yet another probability or no longer. you pick.
2016-09-28 21:55:49 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess thats a good way to go but tough love doesnt always work. Have u tried to help your brother. Sometimes what a person needs is someone to be there to push them in the right direction.
2006-08-04 05:50:19 · answer #4 · answered by garichick4life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel, but I believe you still love him. You probably hate what he is doing to himself and how his behavior is changing and the trouble he is putting himself in. I think you hate the fact that the drugs has taken away your brother from you.
I don't think you have stopped loving your brother because if you did not love your brother you would not be to concerned about it.
I think that refusing to talk to him makes matter worse. If he is being brushed off by you and others that "supposedly" love unconditionally then it will only drive him to seek comfort and refuge in all the wrong places while doing his drugs.
Perhaps if you talk to him let him know how much you care about him and yes, love him, and that you want to help him. And after telling him this, if he refueses to do something about it then, strong and hard LOVE is necessary. Go ahead and leave him in his lifestyle, but sooner or later he is going to crack and fall straight to the ground because he going to find out that he does not want to live like this anymore.
This is where you can help him change. One thing about people using drugs they will not admitt to something being wrong and they are in denial and say that they are casual users and that it does not affect them, but it does. Unless he is willing and wanting to accept help so that he can change their is nothing to do, but love and pray to God that for his protection.
Something was once said to me and it was we this: we do something bad everyday, but that does not mean God stops loving us. Same with you. Realize that its his behavior, drugs and decisons that you hate, and that deep down inside you really love him. You just want him to be you healthy, sane brother.
2006-08-04 06:11:12 · answer #5 · answered by milogz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not, you just dont' like what he is doing to himself. When someone hurts you it is easy to hate them because their behavior is insane to you. If you want to learn something about addictions try not eating any sugar for a week. There are places like al anon for people to understand more about how addictions affect you. It is family and friends of alcoholics. The meetings are very enlightening. Give it a try. What he does isn't your business and you are right to stay away from him. It is the best thing you can do to spare yourself the much misery. let him learn his lessons and hit his bottom.
2006-08-04 05:55:30 · answer #6 · answered by Sue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you are not at all a bad person, its just the way you look towards life. instead of hating your brother help him to come out of this bad habit after all he is your brothe and its only you who can help him out, otherwise what is the difference between you and his friends who made him jump in such bad habit. help him out!!!
2006-08-04 05:51:32 · answer #7 · answered by pooo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope. You are a smart person. Read about Tough Love programs and see how right you are.
2006-08-04 05:48:21 · answer #8 · answered by justaquestioner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, you have put up a protective barrier to shield you from the pain. i understand why you say you feel that way. i am sure that deep down you truly love him and just want better for him. best wishes to you
2006-08-04 05:49:22 · answer #9 · answered by jenzen25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, but don"t do what i did. i cut my sister out of my life for the same reason. now she is dead (2years) and i would do anything to have my sister back. nothing is worth the pain that this will cause you.
2006-08-04 05:55:32 · answer #10 · answered by lovelady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋