Dennis Miller Commentary on the Mid-East crisis -- A real good read.............?

Question

Ok, here it is. I got this via email. It's claimed to be from Dennis Miller, but is actually from Larry miller. (http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/overview.asp )

Either way, a good read:

For those who don't know, Dennis Miller is a comedian
who has a show called Dennis Miller Live on HBO.
He is not Jewish.

He recently said the following about the Mid east
situation:

"A brief overview of the situation is always valuable,
so as a service
to all Americans who still don't get it,
I now offer you the story of the Middle East in just
a few
paragraphs,
which is all you really need.

Here we go:

The Palestinians want their own country.
There's just one thing about that: There are no
Palestinians.
It's a made up word.
Israel was called Palestine for two thousand years.
Like "Wiccan," "Palestinian" sounds ancient
but is really a modern invention

Before the Israelis won the land in the 1967 war,
Gaza was owned by Egypt, the West Bank was owned by
Jordan,
and there were no "Palestinians."

As soon as the Jews took over and started growing
oranges as big as basketballs,
what do you know, say hello to the "Palestinians,"
weeping for their deep bond with their lost "land" and
"nation."

So for the sake of honesty, let's not use the word
"Palestinian"
anymore to describe these delightful folks, who dance
for joy
at our deaths, until someone points out they're being
taped.

Instead, let's call them what they are:
"Other Arabs Who Can't Accomplish Anything In Life
And Would Rather Wrap Themselves In
The Seductive Melodrama Of Eternal Struggle And
Death."

I know that's a bit unwieldy to expect to see on CNN.
How about this, then: "Adjacent Jew-Haters."
Okay, so the Adjacent Jew-Haters want their own
country.

Oops, just one more thing. No, they don't.
They could've had their own country any time in the
last thirty years,
especially two years ago at Camp David
but if you have your own country, you have to have
traffic lights
and garbage trucks and Chambers of Commerce, and,
worse,
you actually have to figure out some way to make a
living.

That's no fun. No, they want what all the other
Jew-Haters in the region want: Israel.
They also want a big pile of dead Jews, of course --
that's where the real fun is -- but mostly they want
Israel.

Why? For one thing, trying to destroy Israel - or
"The Zionist
Entity"
as their textbooks call it --
for the last fifty years has allowed the rulers of
Arab countries
to divert the attention of their own people
away from the fact that they're the blue-ribbon most
illiterate,
poorest, and tribally backward on God's Earth,
and if you've ever been around God's Earth . . . you
know
that's really saying something.

It makes me roll my eyes every time one of our pundits
waxes poetic
about the great history and culture of the Muslim
Middle east.
Unless I'm missing something, the Arabs haven't given
anything to the
world since Algebra, and, by the way, thanks a hell of
a lot for that
one.

Chew this around & spit it out: 500 million Arabs; 5
million Jews.
Think of all the Arab countries as a football field,
and Israel as a pack of matches sitting in the
middle of it.
And now these same folks swear that, if Israel gives
them
half of that pack of matches, everyone will be pals..

Really? Wow, what neat news. Hey, but what about the
string of wars to
obliterate the tiny country and the constant din
of rabid blood oaths to drive every Jew into the sea?
Oh, that? We were just kidding.

My friend Kevin Rooney made a gorgeous point the other
day:
Just reverse the Numbers.
Imagine 500 million Jews and 5 million Arabs.

I was stunned at the simple brilliance of it .
Can anyone picture the Jews strapping belts of razor
blades
and dynamite to themselves? Of course not.

Or marshaling every fiber and force at their disposal
for generations
to drive a tiny Arab State into the sea? Nonsense.
Or dancing for joy at the murder of innocents?
Impossible.
Or spreading and believing horrible lies about the
Arabs baking their
bread with the blood of children? Disgusting.

No, as you know, left to themselves in a world of
peace,
the worst Jews would ever do to people is debate them
to death.

Mr. Bush, God bless him, is walking a tightrope. I
understand that,
with vital operations in Iraq and others, it's in our
interest, as
Americans, to try to stabilize our Arab allies as
much as possible,
and, after all, that can't be much harder than
stabilizing a roomful
of
super models who've just had their drugs taken away.

However, in any big-picture strategy, there's always a
danger
of losing moral weight. We've already lost some.
After September 11th, our president told us and the
world he was going
to root out all terrorists and the countries that
supported them.
Beautiful.
Then the Israelis, after months and months of having
the equivalent of
an Oklahoma City every week (and then every day),
start to do the same thing we did, and we tell them to
show restraint.

If America were being attacked with an Oklahoma City
every day,
we would all very shortly be screaming for the
administration
to just be done with it and kill everything south of
the Mediterranean
and east of the Jordan.



Peace.

Answer 1

I think it rocks, regardless of who said it !

Answer 2

That was not by Dennis Miller. That was by Larry Miller. Attributing it to Dennis Miller is an urban legend, started by mixing up the two humorists because they have the same last name. See, that's why you found that on snopes.com, a website that exposes urban legends.

As far as an overview of the situation? I'd consider it a highly oversimplified version of complex historical events.