Okay heres what happen, was I wrong??

Question

Okay, I own an investment house and my husbands family came to us and asked if thye could live there, rent free for 2 weeks because of an emergency within their own housing situation, I said okay but then after called my insurance agent and found out that I should have a lease for our protection, A just in case kind of thing, well I told his cousin that he needed to sign the lease he said no, so I said I am sorry then you need to leave and I gave them 4 days to move out, was that wrong. I never had any intention of renting this house out it was only to flip. They said that we were trying to screw them over, that was not my intentions at all, I just wanted to make sure that all of my husbands hard work would be lost if something happen. Also in the lease I didn't ask for money they were still staying there rent free, the only thing that changed was that they have 3 dogs and a rabbit and some fish and I told them that everything but the fish needs to be kept outside. Everything is new.

I mean all of the carpet and paint and lighting fixtures and faucets the ceramic tile in both the kitchen and bath. I didn't want anything to get ruined by the animals, we put so much money and hard work into this house, now the whole family including Grndparents are mad at us, are they right for being mad at us??

Answer 1

So often you start out trying to do the right thing, to help someone & you end up getting dumped on completely. This is one of those times. You were completely in the right to request they sign the lease to protect ya'll from loss or damage in case something went wrong. They are wrong to be angry with you for protecting your interests. The only thing I can say is something I've been told all my life - "never do business with family". It almost never turns out well, someones' feelings get hurt, something goes wrong. Good luck my dears - I hope all turns out well, but it's probably gonna take a while. I'm sorry you have to put up with this for the time being.

Answer 2

There is nothing wrong with your expectations here. The hurt and confusion may have stemmed from the fact that you didn't present it all up front.

At first you said they could live there, no problem. Then you came back and said, "by the way you have to sign a lease AND you have to keep your pets outside." You really changed the rules on them after the fact and so they became understandably hurt.

Doing business with family is not like doing business with strangers. They were probably also hurt because you didn't trust them to take care of your property.

At this point, what is to be won by saying who was right and who was wrong? Both sides of this argument are angry and hurt and feel as though they have been wronged.

You could stick to your guns, insist you were right and continue to hold a grudge. Or you could say that family is more important than business, what is done is done and it is time to move on from this.

Good luck, I hope you can resolve this without creating more friction with your family.

Answer 3

You are NOT wrong in this situation. There should be some sort of guidelines/stipulations until said party will depart. There should be some ground rules involved, a signed "agreement" or "lease" should be sufficient in that both you and your family understand that they can live there (rent free at that) but they should abide by leaving animals out of doors and keeping your home safe and clean until you decide what your next step will be. It was ridiculous that it had to come to having them move out seeing as how they could have just worked with the situation, everything comes with rules/guidelines and that's for their protection as well as yours.

Answer 4

Well... I think you did the right thing, but you did it the wrong way.

That is, protecting you and your husband's hard work is the right thing. BUT -- it looks bad that you said yes and THEN gave them the lease and the restrictions and then had to kick them out. To them, it LOOKS like you went back on the deal. Which, let's face it, you did -- for all the right reasons, but you made a deal and then changed it and then took it back.

So... Live and learn. It's going to be tough to clean up from this one, because explaining is only going to make it sound like you don't trust them. (And maybe you shouldn't trust them... but if they believe you feel that way about them, it's going to make them angrier.) And this is the kind of thing that some families turn into a feud that can last generations.

Advice going forward? Always get the deal flat in advance -- check with your insurance agent, your lawyer, whoever you trust to look out for your interests. Then when you make the deal, STICK WITH IT.

(And, if it's any consolation, this is one of those cases that reminds me of the time my son told me "Gee, Dad, you really learned a lot of things the hard way, didn't you?")

How's your husband taking this, since it was his family? Is he siding with them or with you?

If it was MY wife, I'd back her up all the way, and I'd be the one to go to my family and apologize, because I'm good at saying "yes, we handled it the wrong way and we're really sorry, yes you guys were right, we should have taken care of all that in advance, and we'll never make this kind of mistake again, can we agree to forgive and move forward?" Because they're his family, your husband is the one to smooth things over; he's got the connection with them.

But his connection with YOU needs to come first -- or at least that's the way I'd handle it. Blood may be thicker than water, but there are things thicker than blood...

Answer 5

well thats tough. I believe that family comes before money but I can definetely appreciate your situation. If they have a problem signing this and don't trust you then that is where the problem lies, you're not asking anything unreasonable, its for the sake of your investment, and I would definetetely say pets are out side if the house is new, its only for two weeks so they shouldnt mind that. I would really try to explain to them that its an insurance thing and they need to understand that. Tell them that if they care about you and your investment they'll sign it, if they don't trust you thats too bad, but its their problem, not yours.
good luck

Answer 6

You are 100% right.

- Protect yourself at all times
- Back in the days a shake hand seals the deal. Today you need a paper and signature, lawyer, notary public, a couple of witnesses, a busdriver, and GOD knows who or what else to seal the deal.
- If they have no intentions of staying there longer than what they originally told you, then they would be happy to sign it. Besides, that's a huge favor to ask.
- Get your husband's support.

Answer 7

apologize for giving them the okay before calling your insurance agent, but explain to them the risks and tell them they could in fact stay rent free they just have to sign a lease.. (if they can in fact stay rent free..)

this is one of those things that is out of your control, so no one can really be mad at YOU about it, just mad at the situation.

Answer 8

I know your pain! And no, they shouldn't be mad. Have you explained about protection to your family? You were right to do what you did. They obviously didn't understand that you weren't going to charge them rent. And they shouldn't expect something like that out of anyone! It puts the people you love and care about on the spot and they shouldn't have done that to you. I hope all works out hun!

Answer 9

They sound like a bunch of free loaders. You were so anxious to help them in their time of need, you overlooked your own safeguards. You were more than generous. Don't let this bother you. You and your husband have worked hard. Seems to me, the "family" could harbor some jealousy towards your ability to make it in the world.

Answer 10

Ehhh..technically speaking, I don't think you were in the wrong by telling them to get out. However, since it's family, I guess they deserved some leeway, that is, unless you know that they have a history of messing things up. Everyone deserves a chance, though.