When I first started dating her I thought it wouldn't be a problem. She doesn't eat meat, has never even tried drinking, smoking or drugs. I'm an omnivore, I drink occasionally, smoke marijuana and cigarettes. I'm 12 years older than her. Now I'm starting to feel like she is judging me, and I'm of the opinion that she has no place to do so until she has at least TRIED the things she is condemning. I also feel that her refusal to try these things are a symptom of her desire to never truly become an adult. It's not only vices that she doesn't want to try, she seems scared to try ANYTHING new. In contrast, I've always felt that in order to live life to the fullest you need to expand your experiences, and try anything once (twice if you like it!).
Will this problem go away, or will it keep getting more and more on my nerves? Should we even stay together?
2006-08-04 05:25:26 · 6 answers · asked by NickDanger_99 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I didn't mention if I am in love with her, but I thought that was implicit.
If I didn't love her, I would have left her by now.
I love her, but she frustrates me.
But I've been married before, so I know that frustration is just a part of being in a relationship.
2006-08-04 05:33:37 · update #1
I didn't say smoking and drinking is "expanding your experiences", I said trying new things and sampling life to the fullest is "expanding your experiences". Not being afraid to try something new IN GENERAL TERMS.
2006-08-04 05:51:56 · update #2
Well, if there is a 12-year age difference, I would say that maybe she is not ready to embrace the fact that some people are different in their preferences as to what is acceptable.
I was in the same predicament a few years ago, but have since then learned to accept my husband for who he is and he has done the same for me. It takes mutual respect to make any relationship work, and that is what is important.
2006-08-04 05:36:28 · answer #1 · answered by tiggerluv252000 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Nahhhh NOT gonna work me dearie...handwriting is on the ol' wall (and in your question above). Love or no love...not seeing it here...and I might point out that though you feel she is judging you - your words and assumptions on her point of view is a bit judgmental as well...just a bit...
Should you stay together?...no. If she is getting on your nerves..as you had said, and if you see drinking and smoking pot is "experiencing" life...and she does NOT...don't judge each other - just go find someone that wants to drink and smoke pot with you...that's not exactly living life to the fullest in a lot of peoples minds though...those who have tried..and those who have not tried...so I can see her point there..but yours as well as we are all ..who we are after all...so call it quits quick like a bunny and go find what you are really looking for (cause apparently she's not it)...and she'll undoubtedly & successfully go do the same. Then they'll be two happy people (or rather 4) instead of two unhappy ones getting on each other's nerves...
Good luck
2006-08-04 05:44:13 · answer #2 · answered by svmainus 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
me being just like your gf, i dated a guy that smoked and i never wanted to try it. But some how he ended up almost "making" me do it, even thought it was my decision, i loved him so much that i thought that by doing it it would make our relationship better. We broke up and i regret it to this day. So i say, listen to what she has to say, maybe it really bothers her that you do these things, maybe she cares about you enough that she thinks these things are bad for you, dont ever force her to do anything she doesnt want to do. And i think she does have a right to say w/e she wants without trying it, because people have different opinions about everything. I think that if u are gunna make her do these things or make her feel uncomfortable when u are doing these things then you should break up
2006-08-04 05:36:07 · answer #3 · answered by liss843 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You sound old enough to know that the only person that you can change is yourself. If you feel judged all the time then maybe you should find some one that has a similar life style. It will never change unless one of you do. If you can't then it's time to go. Be a man and do what is needed to be done.
2006-08-04 05:32:03 · answer #4 · answered by rastus7742 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you even together? I mean, you never mentioned if you guys are in love or care deeply about each other. You have nothing in common, I don't think it could work in a long term.
2006-08-04 05:31:04 · answer #5 · answered by interpreters_are_hot 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
instantly ladies are not all whiny bitches, dude. you've only had the misfortune of a few incredibly undesirable relationships. A healthful relationship has none of those products, even with your sexuality. An undesirable relationship may have any of those products, again even with your sexuality.
2016-11-28 02:27:01 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋