Should I feel bad that....?

Question

my daughter will never know who her biological father is.

She has a father figure in her life who has been there since she was 2 months though.

Answer 1

For you to 'feel bad' about it, not letting your daughter know who her biological father is, or maybe yet, that your daughter will never know who her father really is, is in fact, more connected to your own guilt.

Please don't get me wrong. But when we feel bad about something especially if that thing is already done or over, and that time was an element as well, there is usually that hint of guilt that troubles us deep inside. Just because that we know within ourselves that the whole truth was not revealed or that justice did not prevail.

In your situation, we cannot really speak out on behalf of your daughter. She has her own feelings and her own set of thoughts. As for yourself, you don't need other people to validate on how you should feel. You are your own person and you are in the best position to decide on how you should feel. But with the situation that you have just described, I believe that your feeling bad about it is deeply rooted in your past. You may have left some spots or areas in your life, wherein you didn't forgive yourself for what happened and that you have carried on this guilt.

Just remember that there is a bright tomorrow ahead of you and that your daughter has a 'father' of her own. It doesn't matter if the man you've married now or living with, isn't her real father. Your daughter has known him since she's a baby and I presume that she has developed a good relationship with him. Bear in mind as well that she may not have been his own blood, but she was born out of his own heart- and that's what makes him a father to her.

Do forgive yourself for anything that has been done in the past. You are living in the present and that you deserve to move on with your life. Forgive yourself (and him- the biological father) and pray for God's help to restore your broken spirit. You will definitely have the peace that you've been looking for. Remember as well that for all of us have our own parecel of problems and heartaches whether in the past or the present. But we do all deserve to rise from it and be free from any guilt. Only this will happen with the power of God, if we do ask for His help and guidance.

Answer 2

My daughter (she is not my biological daughter) has had no contact from her bio mother in 4 years...my daughter is 6. Her mother just left her with the father (my husband) and disappeared. She misses her mom, and makes up stories to fill the empty spaces but tells me I am her real mom and lets me know how much she loves me. Biology is not all it is cut out to be. It is the loving nurturing relationships in her life that will matter most. So you do not need to feel bad just make sure those she has in her life treat her like the princess she deserves to be.

Answer 3

I grew up not knowing my biological father but I had a wonderful dad who raised me since I was 1 year old. I couldnt have asked for a better father. You shouldnt feel bad about this, and she will not resent you. I am sure you have your reasons as to why this guy is not around. Just be open and honest with her about this.

Answer 4

depends.i think depending on her age, you should address it to her.Tell her the truth about why he isnt there, try not to bad mouth him even if you want too. My sons BF was on a destructive path, and i moved away and got married and my husband fathers him but every now and then he will ask about it, i only answer the questions he specifically asks and dont go into detail because is is only 4 yrs old. but my son, as well as your daughter may very well want contact as they get older to get answers from the bf. for closure and whatnot.

Answer 5

hello, i think that if her natural father si not in her life, and she has that father figure there for her then why hurt her buy bringing a strander in to her life, not knowing if thats what is right.

Answer 6

I am adopted and never found out who my biological parents are and it doesn't bother me a bit

Answer 7

Why would you feel bad about this. There will be question that are not for you to answer in regards to the dad. What he did is his reponsibility. If you bad mouth him to your child, they will think that it was their fault or yours. Be honest though. I always was

Answer 8

You shouldn't feel bad unless she asks. If she asks, then you should tell her and tell her where he is and any other details youd like to tell her when shes at the age where she needs or wants to know.