My gf is mad at me because she snoop my email and found...?

Question

She found a directory with all the mails of my ex-gf.

I know its a bad idea to let her see my mail, but she asked for it. If I say no, she could think im cheating on her. So she found those mails and she's mad cause after more than 1 year i keep'em, and thinks still feel something about my ex.

I keep them as a memory of what happened, and what i learned from a past experience and last but no least, because some day Ill take revenge of my ex, bc of the way she broke up w/me, and I need something to remind me of that.

(She still has letters from his ex. I asked about it and she said that she didnt care about those letters and if she would like to go back with i him, she could already done it. Why cant I say the same?)

Answer 1

Hello sludgeman1,

As a guy who has been unhappily married and divorced, I've got to tell you something that I've learned about life, "Being happy is the best revenge."

You dwell too much on the past and waste too much of your precious (present) time on stuff that is over and done with. Get over it man. Learn from your mistakes and try to move on. Otherwise, you're doomed to repeat your old mistakes time and time again. You have seen that you're wasting valuable (present) time with the girlfriend that you've got. Love the one you're with.

If you have some good memories of your X-girlfriends, then by all means, hold onto those e-mails. Don't let some girl tell you that your past shouldn't important to you. Guys don't get enough good strokes from girls, so if you want to hold onto these memories, then keep them tucked away for those few moments when you feel that you need them. Yeah, and it wouldn't hurt to hold onto the e-mails that made you mad at her too. Sometimes guys forget how their X screwed them over.

And you learned another valuable lesson, didn't you? Don't let your girlfriends see your e-mails, and especially stuff from X-girlfriends. That's your private stuff. If you want to respect your girlfriend, she's going to have to respect you and your conditions, and her limitations. It has nothing to do with her. It's none of her damn business.

If you are a loving, communicative, boyfriend who truly loves her, your girlfriend will learn to live with that. Otherwise, find another one who will. Best of luck to you both.

--Rick

Answer 2

I think that if you both have a problem with the other holding on the memories of past ex's, then the only thing to do is both of you talk it over and trash them. True, you never want to refuse to allow a girl to see your mail and etc...but isn't there a limit on what just a gf has rights to....and as for the revenge thing, no matter how bad the break up was, you apparently are over it because you have moved on, perhaps you should just delete the mail and let it go. If the ex could do such a horrible thing to you that you feel you need to seek revenge, then she isn't worth it.
True no one should ever be able to tell us what we are allowed to have or not (memories last forever), but if it is an issue then chances are it won't go away until they are gone. Good Luck.

Answer 3

To be honest, and don't take this the wrong way

But your girlfriend is something you should BE mad at. Since she has old letter from her ex lover still shes probably still pining after him or trying to get back with him and is putting blame on you. To be honest you girlfriend, now I'd dump her and lose her for good she sounds like a immature little slutty B***>////

If she didn't have letters from her ex and feeding you the if i wanted him back i'd go back with him * but also count in mind he may not want her back for a reason*... and there is some reason why she is mad about you have emails from UR ex. if she has letters u should have ur emails.. it shouldnt matter, unless shes doing something BAD>...

so dump her honestly.. move on..
and delete the emails...

from BOTH exs...dont keep any of the stuff. find urself an honest loyal and faithful gf who will treat you right..

Not have letters from her ex but get mad at you for the same thing


u shouldnt keep ex's mail//emails/numbers anyway when getting int o a new relationshup especailly if u want it to work out

Answer 4

She is having the attitude that it's okay for her but not you. This isn't fair to you at all. Personally I don't care that a boyfriend has old stuff from ex-girlfriends. However when my husband and I got married he threw out many of his stuff from his ex-girlfriends, expect a few items that were truely sentimental. He loves me with all his heart and he doesn't have feelings for the ex-girlfriends. There are memories that when a person is ready to let go they will. Also you need to learn to let go what your ex-girlfriend has done to you. I hate my ex-boyfriend with a passion, but he is NOT worth my energy or even a thought unless it warrents it, such as in this case. She is not being fair to you, but you have some things you need to work on or yourself, which is a seperate situation.

Answer 5

Sometimes us girls get mad, and even we can't rationalize it. Give her a few days to cool off. You haven't sent any recent emails to your exes, right? Or recieved them since you started dating her? If you're saving emails that are from after you started dating your girl, delete those suckers. Those don't fall into the "I want to remember how bad she was to me" category. They're into the "she treated me badly, but I'm still not over her" cagegory. If you can, delete all but one, or maybe you and your current girl can do something together like burn the letters (hers too!) In the meantime, be VERY VERY attentive to her while she gets over the shock of finding the letters. Text and call her thought the day reminding her of how you love her, but do not bring up the letters, let her do it. It'll pass over soon enough, just be patient.

Answer 6

Why are you keeping those emails? Because you want to get revenge? Your girlfriend keeps stuff from her ex also? As far as I can see neither of you have gotten over your ex. You have not gotten over the relationship because you still feel the need to get revenge. If you were over it you would not care about things like that. Your girlfriend is obviously still holding on to her ex; keeping the stuff he gave her? You guys need to get over your exs so you can move on in your relationship. Trust will always be an issue because both of you are still tied up emotionally in previous relationships.

Answer 7

You can. You both cant let go of your past, so you wont be able to truely move on. Grow up and get past it. Revenge feels good for a minute but it will come back and haunt you. Let Karma take care of things.

Answer 8

Sounds like your gf is just being unreasonable at the moment. Maybe let her calm down and little bit. If it doesn't go away, you have to consider whether you can be with someone irrational.

Answer 9

That's fine if you keep them. But when she asked to read them, you should have just told her no. You gotta stand up to her once in a while when she does things like insisting on invading your privacy.

Answer 10

you can say the same, she might just be feeling a lil insecure. but to make her feel better you should throw urs away, and have her do the same, its time to stop living in the past.