me and my husbands family we dont get along due to some past unsolved issues and the problem is my husband always defend them and make them look good even when they do bad things and he can fight with me all day just to make his family is wright and i am wrong what can i do ?
2006-08-04 04:49:20 · 11 answers · asked by Yahoo User 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
At the end of the day, family is family... It is tough to drop loyalties like that. Its possible that you are actually wrong and consider them worse than they actually are due to to the past unsolved issues you mentioned? Maybe he thinks you're not being fair or giving them a chance. Or maybe he's just blinded by love for them. If they are truly wrong and you are truly right, he really should be supporting you, you are his wife and you should be his first priority.
2006-08-04 04:54:53 · answer #1 · answered by Quackles 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think your husband lacks in support for you, not only in family matters, but other matters as well. Tell him that you do not feel like he supports you in all the ways you can think of, tell him how he hasn't done what you expect of him as a husband, and ask him to TRY to be more supportive to you when instances like these occur again. If this doesn't work, then he may need to hear this from a professional counselor. Seek counseling right away, issues need to be resolved when they arise or else more will come around and a stack of problems is ever hard to solve.
2006-08-04 12:01:37 · answer #2 · answered by mulderlx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are to submit to your husband and your husband is to love u and none of this is being done. Both of u are wrong.U need just the grace of God to sit together as husband and wife and put things in order. You husband is wrong to stand by his family.You should start solving your problem from the past issues. It will not be easy for your husband to just take your side when nothing had been done.
2006-08-04 12:24:34 · answer #3 · answered by patrick w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop fighting. Tell him that you're tired of arguing with the man you LOVE, over several people who Don't sleep in your bed at night... and you want to leave them out of it for a while... And refuse to get dragged into any more "me/them" arguments... no matter HOW they bug YOU, don't discuss it. If it makes you angry when they do something, Tell him that you need a few minutes, and then Spend those minutes thanking God that you married HIM, not Them... They can be asked to leave your home, or you can choose to GO home... but stop putting them into your marriage by trying to get him to agree that his family is wrong... agree to disagree, he loves them, but you don't have to. But you DO need to realize that it's your insistance on getting Him to "choose you" that's causing the problem with you and him... They could care less whos side he's on ... as long as he agrees with them... and as long as you pull the other way, you just look the shrew...
2006-08-04 12:09:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a common problem. It's your husbands job to deal with his family and to protect you. He doesn't have to agree with you but he also doesn't have to make it worse by taking a side. What you should do is sit him down and say, "I'm trying to do the best I can but I feel betrayed when you stand with your family against me." Make sure he realizes that you don't expect him to abandon his family but if nothing else he needs to stand by you. Good luck.
2006-08-04 11:53:54 · answer #5 · answered by Lex 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would do the same thing if he wasn't getting along with your family. I know that you're married.. and you think he should always be on your side.. but they were his family long before you came along.. and it's not going to stop.
2006-08-04 11:58:51 · answer #6 · answered by Imani 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its is family of corse he will defend them , just let it go and agree and try to make the peace.
2006-08-04 11:53:14 · answer #7 · answered by Soccer rox! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He loves his family and is loyal, that all. Just try to start avoiding all this conflict.
2006-08-04 11:54:50 · answer #8 · answered by Cutie_Pie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
re-read your wedding vows! those vows, if taken seriously, may show you both how to behave with each other. also, get some relationship books and LEARN.
2006-08-04 12:32:54 · answer #9 · answered by jimrich 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because sometimes people are narrow minded, and he had to live and grow up with them. the best thing is to let it go.the past is the past.let it go.you are only upsetting yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-04 12:17:47 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋