my friend....(well we used to be really good friends don't know what you wanna call it anymore) but she got engaged to this guy after knowing him for a month.....i think that is way too soon....what do you guys think?
and they plan on getting married next year sometime and he has a kid. (nothing with him having a kid but i'm not sure if thats why she started seeing him in the first place....but couldn't that get in the way?)
i mean if it was one of our guy friends from school than i can see nothing wrong with getting engaged after a month but she didn't know this guy before this.
1 month knowing each other...
i mean i got engaged after 6 months dating but i was friends with the guy for over 4 years before...
alot of us have tried to tell her that its way too soon....but she just won't listen...we support her and everything but she doesn't see it the way we do..
her and her best friend arn't even friends anymore because she thought she wasn't supporting her
2006-08-04 04:31:37 · 23 answers · asked by ♥Brown Eyed Girl ♥ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
she doesn't listen to any of her friends anymore.....not just me or her best friend that arn't friends anymore....its the rest of them too....
i mean for me everyone likes how i did mine because sof the 4 year friendship then the 6 months relationship.....
2006-08-04 04:42:59 · update #1
That is impossible to say. I married I guy I saw two times (was in the navy) and we stayed together for eight years. I met another I knew forever and things did not work it at all.
It has to do with the maturity level and to some extent, age of the person(s) involved. If you have a 25 year old who can't balance her check book and spends money like water then I would say NO, don't get married.
If you have an 18 year old who maintains a job, can save a little and it fairly responsible I would say yes.
The thing about your friend is to support her regardless. Because when and if she does fail, you will want her to come talk to you, to be there for her. If you continue to mention the error of her ways she will keep pulling away from you and when and if they do break up she will feel like she can not come to you because you will throw it in her face.
The only way to gain knowledge is by making mistakes. And maybe she is making one, maybe not. It's really up to her to decide.
The only way I would personally get invovled was if the man was abusive to her. Then I'd have to get my posse together and go whip his azz.
Being a friend is hard as hell and requires you to step back sometimes. Call your friend up, apologize for not being supportive and just sit back to watch how it unfolds. Be there for her when she needs it but keep your mouth shut otherwise.
Diva
2006-08-04 04:41:13 · answer #1 · answered by black_bi_diva 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I agree with you it is way to soon for them to be engaged..However, you did say they were waiting a year, Well a lot can happen in a year,your gf might decide that she doesn't want to get married and be an instant mommy! I think the best thing for you and your friends to do is, let her have some freedom. B/C the more you tell her not to marry him the closer the faster she will get to messing up her life. Give her some space to see the relationship for what it is, .Plus, you are on the outside looking in you can see more then she can,she is blinded by love.. You might be surprised ! She my make the right choice in the end. I hope she does...Good Luck!
2006-08-04 07:16:30 · answer #2 · answered by SpecialLdy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think as a friend you should warn her about marriage and that it is not a game. She should really get to know this guy a little better and as a friend tell her, you don't have to be bosy about it or be the smartass just talk nicely and inform her of how things really are once one is married. It's anot a cake walk trust me...Another thing, the great wisdom from tibet says know someone for six months before marriage, I don't know how true that is but hell it makes some sense, right? Good luck and have a great day!
2006-08-04 04:37:23 · answer #3 · answered by lasugarfree 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might be and it might not be too soon. Sometimes you just KNOW! You and her other friends have stated your feelings about this guy, and should leave it at that. If you're her friend just be her friend. She might need you at some point if she and her boyfriend/fiance/husband don't work out. My boyfriend proposed to me after only 2 weeks of dating. We had been on one date a year prior when we were in college, but we lost contact after that date. I guess he decided he wasn't letting me get away again. We were married a year and a half after the proposal and have been married 17 years. SO many people told us it would never work or it would never last, and I think that pushed us harder.
2006-08-04 05:33:21 · answer #4 · answered by pottersclay70 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lets see. you need 6 months to fade illusion and start real love.
6 months more to get to know each other better. That's 1 year at least to get engage.
Think about finishing your career or any studies first and be capable of being economically independent.
2006-08-04 04:42:25 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really hard to say. My parents only knew each other for six weeks and were married 45 years before my father passed away. As long as they're not rushing into getting married right away maybe they can work out a good relationship.
2006-08-04 04:41:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the two people. I got engaged after four days and was married 28 years. Half of it was OK but second marriage is better cuz Im older and more careful now.
2006-08-04 04:36:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
6 months
2006-08-04 04:35:09 · answer #8 · answered by works_out_a_lot_27 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't get married after knowing a guy in a month (to be honest I wouldn't really know him in that time)
but there are people that do it and it has worked out fine, then there are people who have dated for 7 years and ended a year in marriage.
Just be supportive to your friend now and after if the marriage fails. just try to be happy for her now
2006-08-04 04:38:28 · answer #9 · answered by brenda4ever 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can't understand why people don't want to take time and get to know somebody before getting engaged or go and live with somebody, or buying a house together! i think that these commitments need time and thorough thinking!
You were right to tell her anyway, you acted as a friend. Then, you know people don't get it right until they get hurt! She needs to live her own experience. I just hope it won't be to painful for her.
2006-08-04 04:38:41 · answer #10 · answered by fabee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋