guard down a little with him? I was cheated on in a previous relationship. Is it ok to start trusting him a little or should I still keep my guard up? Thanks
2006-08-04 04:16:06 · 28 answers · asked by sultrysagittarius 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's unfair to force your hang ups on a new relationship.
If you are ready for a new b/f then your ready to let go of the past...everyone has a past and we all get hurt, thats life and it's up to you if your going to let some numpty in your past affect your happiness in life
2006-08-07 07:53:44 · answer #1 · answered by Girl From Mars 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what this guy is like. It sounds like there is something about him that you do not trust?? I know there is an issue with a former relationship that leaves a sour note in your mouth, but judging this guy because of the past is wrong. I believe in trusting people until they give you a reason not to. Now has this guy given you a reason to not trust him? If not then whats with the guard up thing? Lifes a gamble anyway, and you have no way of knowing if you are being told the truth unless you devise some way to find out. I believe given the right persons, and the right circumstances everybody could cheat at some time or the other. Relationships are built on love and trust, and if you don't have both of these, then what have you got? Nothing! Simple answer; unless he has given you a reason to not trust him, then you either trust him or stand a chance of loosing him. I don't mean to totally trust any guy that comes down the road, but have some faith in your own judgement. What is he like? Has he been unfaithful to people that you know? Does he try things with you? Does he expect things of you? If you have been with him for three months, i would say if he hasn't put pressure on you, then he might be what you are looking for. I don't mean go sleep with him, but you got to start trusting him some or he will go the other way soon. Know that some people want to use you, and go the other way, and its hard to know which ones they are. Good Luck!
2006-08-04 11:33:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hiya, I used to be exactly the same with my boyfriend as you are with this guy...i found it hard to trust and let my guard down as he lives over 200 miles away and i have been cheated on in 2 previous relationships but one day we had an argument about me not trusting him and i told him why it was difficult for me, he then said he is not either of my ex's and i have to stop treating him like he is going to cheat on me because he's not! Ever since that day i've learnt to trust him loads and our relationship is so much better because of it (2 years on) So basically i'm saying explain to him how you feel, once he knows he'll probably start thinking about you a bit more which in time will make you feel more stable in your relationship and you will let your guard down and learn to trust him. Trust me it makes you so much happier and your relationship so much better. Take care and i hope my advice helps and everything works out well for you.
2006-08-04 11:30:28 · answer #3 · answered by cornishgal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if someone didn't trust you after 3 months of a secure relationship how would you feel? I know myself, if someone did that to me I would tell them to call it quits or it should end because that's not fair that I get pinned down as a bad person because of other people. Let your guard down and trust him, because no doubt about it, a guy or girl can only take so much of that and it will result in probably big fights or breaking up. Or him saying something like, "if you think I am cheating so much, then I guess I might as well go out and do it."
2006-08-04 11:20:19 · answer #4 · answered by thehereyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand why you are asking, I am right there with you, but I am starting to trust and it has benefitted me so much. I don't know your personal situation with the new guy but if you talk to him about it and he seems to really care, I wouldnt say go off the deep end and just give your heart away. I would suggest starting small, little things helped me get to where me and my guy are today and things are great. I understand your guard will always sorta be up. If hes willing, you should be too...I wish you the best and hope that I could help!
2006-08-04 11:22:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats for you to decide. If you think this relationship has a future, than i would say yes. You are always at risk of being hurt when allowing people into your life and putting a lot of trust into them. But its a part of life and you'll never get into a life long relationship without letting your guard down.
2006-08-04 11:21:21 · answer #6 · answered by green_wave49 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, you have to let your guard down in order for the relationship to go anywhere. There are no guarantees that he won't cheat at some point in the future, regardless of how your relationship may progress. On the other hand, you may wind up cheating on him (never say never). Remember that husbands and wives cheat on their spouses every day. It's the chance we all take.
2006-08-04 11:20:14 · answer #7 · answered by Bunny*Run 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all men are the same. I say trust him and from now on think possitive to the relationship. Let your guard down and have a good time together. Good luck
2006-08-04 11:20:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not necessarily keeping ur guard up or down.. every new relationship will be a new experience.. if he hasn't given u a reason not to trust him then trust him..
we've all been cheated on and u just have to notice the signs if any.. take what u've learned in ur last relationship and use it to give u a heads up in this one..
2006-08-04 11:36:12 · answer #9 · answered by Queen D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going to let your guard down at some point, and that will be noticed as different behaviour.
You can't predict what is going to happen, you just have to suck it and see.
Being too safe can sometimes be the cause of a break up.
2006-08-04 11:21:24 · answer #10 · answered by JeffE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust him as much as he deserves to be trusted; however, a woman should always keep her eyes and ears open for any red flags; the trick is to do this without appearing obvious.
Please relax and enjoy your relationship by all means, but still, for your own well-being, don't be a fool for anyone!
2006-08-04 11:23:20 · answer #11 · answered by JEFFAVEGRL 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋