Anticipating my teenage daughters starting to date.................?

Question

.......I want to give good fatherly advice. Before I know it, they may be meeting their future husbands. Yikes! What do you all think of "compatibility" tests? I wish I had know of these 25 years ago! I feel the need to tell my daughters that there are descreet ways for them to do a compatibility test on a guy they think they may be interested in. I don't want my daughters to get into a long term relationship and find out she's not compatible until after it's too late.

Answer 1

compatibility tests are great.. but you have to keep in mind that they can always be influenced by some one that gives answers they think the questioner wants to hear.... so they can also be fallible...just think of it as a tool that may be helpful..but tell them to watch the actions more than what the person says... we all want to protect our children from getting hurt....but it's not always possible .... and if we think about it our best lessons were from the times we got hurt...and theirs will likely be too... the best you can do is try to guide them... and be there for them...even when you don't agree with their choices...sometimes they have to learn for themselves... and we have to sit back a bit... and help them pick up the pieces... with compassion, and hugs instead of" I told you so's".. best wishes to you .. it's not easy to get through those teenage years!lol...

Answer 2

Without having them both take them directly, you'd be guessing based on your perception. I'm not a teen but there is no way I would have gone for that when I was. There are so many compatibility test out there and you could very well get a variety of results depending upon the test you choose. Besides, compatibility for the long haul would be hard to predict since people change over time. As far as for now, I'd hope you know your girls well enough to tell how compatible or incompatible they are with the guys they date just by your own observation. Voice your concerns to them if you see stuff going on that is cause for concern. Hopefully you raised them to make good choices and they will lose the losers and keep the keepers. "Compatible" doesn't always mean "together forever" and contentment and "incompatible" doesn't always mean discontent and "divorce" though it would probably influence probability at least to some degree. Good luck!

Answer 3

The compatibility test don't work, many people say they do but its all in the head, If you want your daughters to find the right guy you should give them advice on how to find a good honest guy.
Love dosen't come from compatibility test, let love find your daughters and be there for them, if the guy isn't getting along with her it isn't because they are not compatible. If you love someone everything will work out, you can get help from a Pastor or some type of person who gives advice to spouces. Becasue Love finds a way!

Answer 4

I wouldn't put to much weight on a compatability test honestly just given their ages at this time. So much changes in the years 15 - 25 anyone I may have tested compatible with at 15 would have been a horror at 30 I'm sure.
Best thing you can do for your daughters imho is to keep the lines of communication open, for example ask them about their dates, their friends, how they spend their free time and they will feel comfortable coming to you and discussing the men in their lives as they arrive.

Answer 5

You'll need to give the good fatherly advice.

You'll need to include: sex-ed and the concept of nasty people out there just trying to use other people. Then there is the general approach that the men in your society take in dating - you'd better give them your take on that as well...

I think you're right to want to tell your daughters that they can discreetly judge a guy's compatibility. You'd want to rely on something more than the magazine or internet compatibility test, though!

Answer 6

Compatibility tests are bull. The only way to tell if you're compatible with someone is to date them!!! That's the whole point of dating, hence the dinner and the drive which are intended for the couple to talk and get to know each other. Trust me, if they're in a long term relationship, they will probably not break up due to lack of compatibility. The main reasons for breaking up in a long term relationship are cheating, boredom, lack of trust, or a fight.

Answer 7

There are no guarantees no matter what they do. Remember that even if they are compatible today, it doesn't mean they will be happy together forever. Not to mention that it is through these first relationships and dating experiences that we develop our own sense of what it is we want in a mate. They need these life experiences, good and bad, to grow as individuals. It is admirable that you want to protect them, but you have to trust that you raised smart girls with self respect and let them make their own choices. You also need to remember that the more you push a teenage girl, the more they go in the opposite direction!

Good Luck.

Answer 8

Gaaaa! I'd be a little freaked out myself. I've got three girls (I'm Mom, by the way) and I told my husband the first boy that breaks their hearts, I'm going to break his legs! Anyhow, compatability tests are a good idea. I'll have to remember them when my girls get to that stage. It's a good thing you are giving good Fatherly advice! A girls first view of God is by her Father. What a weight to carry. I hope all goes well.

Answer 9

Teen agers rarely listen to the voice of reason when it comes to affairs of the heart. They are only just learning to ride the emotional roller-coaster of life, and are in hormonal turmoil, to boot! The best "fatherly advice" you may successfully give is this: I love you, I will always love you, and I will be here when you need me.
They will make many bad choices along the way, and it will tear you apart. But knowing that their dad will be there to catch them will help them see how important it is to have a strong, accepting male in their lives.

Answer 10

Compatibility tests are fun, but I wouldn't suggest that you tell your daughters to use them on every boy they meet. If they're smart, they'll figure out if they're compatible with a boy within the first half hour of talking with him. If you're worried about them getting into a longterm relationship and getting stuck, talk to them about your worries when you think they're becoming serious about a boyfriend. They'll listen to you.