Whats wrong with me?

Question

I am 49 years old and i met 2 guys on the internet. I spent a few days both times with them and when it was over they more or less faded away. No goodbyes or anything. I felt used. Am i only good for one thing or am i that ugly?

Answer 1

Sweetie. You are beautiful. God does not create ugly. Everyone is beautiful in his eyes. You need to keep your head up and tell yourself everyday that your an amazing person. You deserve to be treated like a princess. Dont settle.

Answer 2

I don't think that ugly has anything to do with it. I think that it is the character of the people you picked. Everyone wants to be cared for and hope that this will be the one. You have no way of knowing until you get to know them. Knowing someone over the Internet is not the same as knowing them in person. You just have to keep looking and not give so much so soon. Sometimes that is difficult because sometimes people say all the right things but time always tell. So be careful who you choose and take it slow you will feel better after. Sorry you had to go through that.

Answer 3

Sex is not love. It takes time to develop a relationship, not just a few days. Relationships are built on spending time getting to know each other as friends, where a mutual trust & respect can develop. Sex becomes PART of your love for that other person.

Work on getting to know the men you meet outside of the bedroom first. Go do fun stuff you both like. Just because you put out right away doesn't mean they're going to stick around. The guys I've talked to have said they think a woman is kind of desperate if she does and they don't take her seriously. Develop some respect for yourself. Work on your self image. Draw some boundaries. It would be good if you sought professional counseling. I'm not being judgemental, I've been in your shoes. It's been a long road to healing.

Answer 4

First off, are you happy alone? I mean do you NEED someone else to make you happy? If so, stop there. You need to be a happy person on your own and then allow others to share that joy with you-should you choose to allow them. As for the internet dates, who really knows? They both may be weirdos, you would never know in the short a period of time. Unless you truly think that you are unattractive, you have energy flowing from yourself for everyone to see. That type of energy/personality is contagious and those around you will totally enjoy your company. Lastly, if you meet someon either at the grocery store or the internet, take your time. Get to know them well and do not jump in bed with anyone until your head tells you that this person has a commitment to you. Otherwise, you will allow people to use you and we all know how hurtful that is. Good luck and chin way up!

Answer 5

First of all, you should have only seen 1 guy.
Second, you shouldn't have seen any guy at all... you never know what kind of crazy person is out there... you should have chatted with him for many weeks and then start phone conversations before you even met him in person...
You are talking about no goodbyes or anything, which makes me believe you had sex with both of them, meaning that you rushed in and you probably looked desperate... and they both probably saw that and decided not to continue with the relationship.
On the other hand, if they didn't want you, you're better off and they weren't good enough for you... so you should be happy that it didn't work out.
Go out more with girlfriends and try meeting real people at parties instead of on the net, and you'll have better luck in your love life.

Answer 6

You are a beautiful woman. What you put out is what you are going to get back. Meeting men over the internet is not exactly the surest way to develop a long term relationship that will end in a commitment. Perhaps you should take some time for yourself and work on developing a healthier self-concept and increase your self-esteem. It took years for me to stop putting guys ahead of myself, my dreams and my wants. I was promiscuous, and put myself in some pretty hairy situations. I am way more confident now because I know it's not what I look like on the outside but what I am in the inside that will attract the kind of guys, and even women friends that I can confide in and feel like they won't stab me in the back, that deserve to be with me. Once again you are beautiful, but start paying more attention to yourself and don't sleep with guys right when you meet them. If you do that, they won't respect you and that is all that they are there for. If a guy waits and calls when he says he will call, then you know he is worth your time and effort. Good luck in your endeavors, but remember to put yourself first always and then you can give the love that the other person deserves also.

Answer 7

You have a problem with your own self perception, darling. You cannot see yourself through the eyes of others; you have to project your image through your own personality. Take that picture away, first. It does not show who you really are. Relax, sit down, take the glasses off so your face can show, think of the things that you enjoy, not what you think someone else wants. Then click. The internet is not the best place to really meet someone for life...only for conversation. What thing do you think you are good for? Did you actually meet these "guys" and have sex or did you play virtual sex? That's not real so you cannot possibly judge yourself by those standards. Get out. Enjoy yourself. Live a little. Then come back and enjoy the net.

Answer 8

I am not surprised that the guys disappeared. They came to your life once in a sudden, and then they live the same way. Used? No, do not put yourself so low, if both had a good time then there is no “using”. Sex and feeling are not going necessarily together, especially for men.
Have you been married very young or living in a monastery?
You already don’t know that no matter where you meet a man, it is necessary to calm down or cool down, and wait before jumping to bed? The reason is that for starting a relation is necessary to talk; to learn each other. Sex comes after naturally.
Do not worries, if you want to meet somebody just be patient and you will find the one for you.

Answer 9

this thing you face is a common problem in all country get played around.

they feel the pain.

that make people to be more conscious of people that they meet do not say go to your house or go to hotel or to his house that is the time they will take advantage of anyone.

to know in few days is imposable unless you can read people way of respond is hard i know but is only experience counts.


The some people will keep clear of flirting and wooing unless they really have a crush on them.

but most importaint is know your flaw and strength and same as the person that you meet do not give out so much info about your self 1st as you will spoil the element of surprise.

from there then you can make a clear decision after you get home to rest and think

Answer 10

I'm wondering what type of guys you are meeting. I also wonder when chatting with these guys do you chat about what you both are looking for. I'm assuming you are looking for a relationship.

I've met two guys on the internet also and things work out wonderfully. One remains a friend and the other guy I'm currently dating.

I think before you meet the guy/guys you should spell out your intentions. After you meet the guy and everything works out, then you can pursue that goal.

A lot of guys/girls use the internet to hook up and hop out. So if you are going to use internet to meet people, you have to spell out what your intentions are.

Also maybe you could try eharmoney.net It seems to be working for a lot of people.

P.S. Don't be sad, get happy and go for it!

Answer 11

If you slept with them (because you aren't clear whether you did or not), then that's all they wanted. They didn't want to have a relationship with you...they wanted sex. Usually, unless a man is in love, he will lose interest in a woman after having sex with her.
You're putting out too fast. Why don't you make them like you first by just being yourself and putting down guidelines. If they don't follow your rules, then you leave them.
49 years old is a bit old to be learning this. So, I'd urge you to get a hold of that now.