My fioncee and I are getting married. I know how I want the wedding and everyone keeps telling me how to do everything and what colors to use. I wish everyone would keep their opinions to themselves unless I ask them. Our wedding should be what we want because it is suppose to be a day for us. I have had to be bossy and hold my ground because everyone say's "Don't do that!" or "Don't use that!"
2006-08-04 02:45:48 · 23 answers · asked by J-Lynn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
A Bridezilla says "I don't want your opinion." A Bride says "Thank you for your opinion." Nothing says you have to take it, but to deny people offering opinions and ideas makes you look bad. And if you don't like how they react to your ideas - stop talking to them about it. If they ask, simply say you don't want to talk about it right now; that you'd like a break from it by hanging out with them. : )
2006-08-04 05:15:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is important to remember that these people are well-meaning and if they didn't care about you they wouldn't be offering to "help" (even if you aren't viewing it as help and didn't ask for their input).
The name of the game is DIPLOMACY!!! If someone suggests getting married under a gazebo and that not you style, rather than saying "That's lame! What an awful idea!" you might consider saying something like "Thank you for your suggestion, but I think we're going in a different direction." Then smile! It doesn't take any more effort, you're still getting to have things your way, and you haven't insulted anyone. Everyone Wins! You do not have to be bossy or a Bridezilla to do it. But also keep an open mind, because you never know (even though you may have it all perfectly planned out in your head) when someone may have a good idea you could incorporate.
Just remember, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar; and it's generally best that if you don't have anything nice to say, it's better not to say anything at all. You will come out of this with more of your friendships and family relationships intact.
Best of Luck!
2006-08-04 04:42:11 · answer #2 · answered by Shower Gal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that it is hard to plan your wedding when everyone else has their own opinion of what you should do. Keep in mind though that they are only opinions and you can do what you decide. It's hard, but maybe you can just let them "suggest" ideas, and then tell them "thank you for the suggestion, I'll keep that in mind." That way you're not telling them to bug off and you also don't have to promise anyone that you're going to do it their way. I do think that a bride should be nice to anyone willing to help out. Just because you're a bride doesn't mean that you're allowed to be a bridezilla. I understand the stress planning a wedding produces, but just remember that once the day comes, it's your day.
2006-08-04 04:30:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely feel you here! I had all my friends and family telling me that I shouldn't let ANYONE else tell me what to do and I should make all my choices - but the second I made a choice those same people would tell me it was wrong! It was just infuriating. I don't think that makes you a Bridezilla. I kind of reserve that term for people who ask others to do inappropriate things (like asking a bridesmaid to lose weight for her wedding or something).
I think you should stand your ground. I know that it's difficult because I know that everyone is just trying to help. Maybe you can tell them that you totally appreciate their opinions and their help - but the choices you made are right for you. I agree with my friends that said I was wrong in the sense that it would have been wrong for THEM, but it was perfectly right for me. In the end I couldn't have been happier that I stood my ground and I think that my wedding was perfect! So good luck to you!
2006-08-04 05:53:39 · answer #4 · answered by ykokorocks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to hurt others' feelings at any time, let alone at a time near your wedding? Why is there a need to be bossy? What is the reason for you being so particular-- what do you feel that will achieve? Whya re you discussing your plans with other if they are such unpopular ideas? Keep the plans under wraps and surprise people with them, then you'll have fewer debates.
An ungracious bride is not something you want to be remembered as.
2006-08-04 10:30:06 · answer #5 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wanting to be in control does not mean you are “bridezilla”. When it comes to weddings, it is difficult for others not to get involved. It’s a family affair. For good and bad, the ones who are really helpful during this stressful time are the ones who will stay supportive in the long run. Try selecting one or two people whose opinion you trust and you can count on to help you make some decisions and get things done. Say, “I need your help.” They can also help keep the other “unwanted” out of your way.
2006-08-04 04:40:44 · answer #6 · answered by honest opinion 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has opinions. It is tough when you are planning your wedding because you get so much input on YOUR day. You have to stand your ground but do not do it in a way that you alienate your friends and family. Say something like, "I appreciate your opinion but this is what I am going to do."
You think this is bad wait until your first born arrives....you will be going through the same thing again.
Good luck!
2006-08-04 04:00:59 · answer #7 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you're not hurting any innocent by-standers, then I don't see any harm. When someone is telling you what you should do and you don't want to do that, then you have to stand your ground. Just be firm, but nice about it. I had to put my mother-in-law in her place a couple of times. She meant well, but it was my wedding after all and there were certain things that I wanted. People are still going to give you opinions, but you can just tell them that the decision has all ready been made. Good luck!
2006-08-04 03:22:41 · answer #8 · answered by SweetPea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your wedding, the only people whose opinions should count are yours and your fiancee'. If your parents are paying they get some say when it comes to cost, but other than that stick to your guns, you should enjoy the day. A bridezilla is hateful, if you are just trying to make your day special then others need to keep their noses out of it.
2006-08-04 04:01:00 · answer #9 · answered by themogleclan@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what u r going thru. I'm getting married soon and have always wanted a small wedding but where i come from, the girl's family have a major say in everything that goes on...............and now my ideal wedding of 250 people just went up to 800 pple!!! and there is nothing I can do about it!!!! I just suck in my breath and dream of my after party which iwill go totally my way!!!
2006-08-04 03:20:40 · answer #10 · answered by mv 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋