K my boyfriend of the last few years and I are having problems as I dont trust him due to the fact that I caught him cheating early on in our relationship, I know he lied to me about giving up smoking as well as other small things.
He just rang me there accusing ME of being the problem due to my lack of trust and cant see the fact that because he lies to me I have reason for not trusting him!!
HELP ME PLEASE!!?!?? Who's wrong here? I think he is but dont even know anymore!!!!
2006-08-04 02:16:18 · 23 answers · asked by Its me! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
How can you even still be with him after all of that crap he did? Now that's the real question.
2006-08-04 02:21:52 · answer #1 · answered by Jarrad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's gone beyond who is right or wrong. He broke your trust and that's hard to get over. But a lack of trust can kill a relationship. You need to decide if you can ever trust him. If not move on. But before you do try telling hime why you feel the way you do and tell him that even the white lies make it worse. Maybe he has no idea he makes it worse.
All of this is prob stuff you know deep down, so trust your instincts, they don't lie and good luck
2006-08-04 09:24:11 · answer #2 · answered by cherry_poppins7 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, forget who's right or wrong and get the hell out of that relationship. I know from experience. I stayed around to long and now things are complicated because we have a kid. I cheated (a lot) and kept forgiving me. Come to find out he still holds it against me. That is something that will stay in your head forever and you don't really get past it. So just leave before it get complicated because (like me) he'll think you didn't leave me the first time you won't leave me the next.
2006-08-04 09:36:58 · answer #3 · answered by P.R. Chic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's given you enough reasons not to trust him.
HOWEVER, when you decided to stay with him after he cheated on you, you must have known that you might feel like you couldn't trust him.
You not trusting him is going to cause problems in your relationship because it's one of the most important things, but how can you trust him when he lies?
I think you're right. Knowing that he's given you cause to doubt him in the past, he should be doing everything he can to prove himself to you now.
2006-08-04 09:23:57 · answer #4 · answered by Wafflebox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u r both a bit in the wrong he shouldn't of cheated but u should learn to trust him at the end of the day u cant have a relationship with out trust
2006-08-04 09:27:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both of you, but mostly him. You have to decide if you are ever going to be able to trust him again and if he is worthy of that trust. A relationship without it will not work, however nor will it work if he is being an idiot...
Personally I would move on, however if you think he is worth it, talk to him agree that you have trust issues and try to move forward. This will mean you will have to address them.
2006-08-04 09:39:02 · answer #6 · answered by Nneave 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married, divorced and now live with my partner. In my experience, when your partner starts accusing you like that, it is to cover up his guilt. Men are really good at turning things around. When I was married my husband had an affair and he tried to blame me for it???.......Obviously he found himself living in his van with all his belongings!
On the other hand, women do have the habit of not trusting people unduly when they have been hurt. If you love him, sit down and talk it out with him, tell him how you feel and why.
2006-08-04 09:34:40 · answer #7 · answered by sarah k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey... both are wrong here! None is good and none is bad in such situations!!!
YOU:
You have your own reasons not to trust him... but too much can be too much! Most probably he is feeling the walls closing down on him
HIM:
He lied to you... he cheated you... he either loves you or hate you lol.... no!! Sorry... bad joke...
But its true, i understand why u dont trust him, but i also understand him that too much insecurity from someone else can choke you
2006-08-04 09:24:00 · answer #8 · answered by trushka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well of course you know that he is wrong, when guys do something they are not suppose to be doing like cheating they end up blaming u, i mean they accuse of things when its not true, u should just leave him because al he is doing is turning everything around to make it seem that u are the one at fault, but in reality he is the one doing everything wrong.
2006-08-04 09:23:46 · answer #9 · answered by LADY J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think its a question of trust anymore... I think its a case of him malipulating you and twisting things so much in your head that you take him back... People like him need to control!!! and it freaks them out when they cant..
My opinion love is .. you've had a lucky escape... move on up and most of all be true to who you are!!! Never change yourself for a man... no matter how tasty they are!!! ( " , )
Good luck .... X
2006-08-04 11:09:04 · answer #10 · answered by Cat ( " , ) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, he needs to prove to you that you can trust him again. That said, you also have to give him the opportunity to prove himself.
Both of you are holding on to hurt that is better left behind. Sit down with him and explain EXACTLY how you feel and why. Allow him to do the same. Come to an agreement and STICK TO IT!
2006-08-04 09:22:53 · answer #11 · answered by rogue_samurai 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋