When did this become acceptable? My kids are still young (toddlers) but when they're old enough to understand how to address a person properly, I'm going to teach them to call a person Ms. Jackson instead of Ms. Linda. Why is this OK? I noticed this a lot in my sons' daycare. When did this become the standard way of doing things? I think elders deserve respect, and by calling someone by their first name (even though there's a Ms. or Mr. in front of it) seems disrespectful and almost slang-y to me. Am I the only one who feels this way?
2006-08-04 02:11:06 · 21 answers · asked by brevejunkie 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I agree, I believe if you are going to use a first name, why put the Ms. in front? I noticed this when my 7 year olds were in preschool, and it really bothered me. By the way, it's not just in the south, I live in PA, and I hear it all the time. A friend of mine was corrected in her teaching job for allowing the kids to call her Miss Kelly. She said she didn't care, but the principal sure did.
2006-08-04 03:15:25 · answer #1 · answered by mynickname 3 · 2⤊ 5⤋
I always start out with a Mr or Mrs Last name. However, when the adults in my children's lives give permission use their first names then I compromise by having the girls add the Mr or Ms in front of the first name. I feel this allows a more informal relationship, but still preserves the respect that children should pay to adults.
2006-08-04 02:18:29 · answer #2 · answered by amkornele 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably. You see, kids hardly ever mean disrespect, especially at that young age, calling people by their first name makes the relationship less formal than it would be if they called them by their last name. That just makes things too official and children are too young to understand that. Besides, when people introduce themselves to children, they usually mention only their first name, precisely because they don't want to come off as up-tight and inaccessible to the little ones.
Respect is manifested by deeds rather than words and calling a person by their first name is in no way a sign of denigration. I don't believe that the ladies who work at their day care are even that old! They couldn't possibly be older than 30!
I don't mean to judge you, but if I'm allowed an opinion, I'd like to say that maybe you should loosen up and stop dreading the thought of your children ever having an informal relationship with anyone but yourself. They need to learn to socialize, not be a walking, up-tight code of good manners.
2006-08-04 04:06:25 · answer #3 · answered by Foxy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Linguistically, it's hard for toddlers to say words with more than 2 syllables. Many last names are more difficult for them to pronounce.
I'm a high school teacher and tutor. During school, I want to be addressed by my last name because it's a formal situation. When I tutor off campus, the kids call me by my first name...some put Ms in front, some don't. In that situation, it's more relaxed and less formal and more friendly.
2006-08-04 03:58:09 · answer #4 · answered by lil_miss_education 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's disrepectful if there is an agreement bewteen an adult and a child how they prefer to address each other. Some people, like you, have more traditional values when it comes to proper address, and that's perfectly acceptable. And when a child addresses you, it is your prerogative to politely ask that it be with your last name. And a respectful child will comply.
However, if the overarching value here truly is about respect and not simply about proper address, then how you value the virtue of respect ought to be demonstrated by allowing other people to address each other as they mutually please and not how you personally think they ought to act according to your own personal values.
And of course, I say this with all due respect to you, Ms.
2006-08-04 02:28:37 · answer #5 · answered by Gary H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well dear, i think you are just from an older generation. One where the elders didn't have the desire to relate to the younger generation. I think for most, it makes them feel youthful to be related to with respect as well as informality. Like some elders who don't want to be referred to as mam or sir, they don't think they are "THAT OLD." I agree that it is very informal but, disrespect, not hardly. Actually I think it is more respectful to relate to an elder well enough to use their first name, yet still give them the Mr./Ms title. It shows an amicable level of respect as opposed to a forced(not as genuine) level.
2006-08-04 05:11:30 · answer #6 · answered by Shyla B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My children are 19, 18 and 14. Those who are friends of the family or very familiar to were alway Miss (or Mrs) first name and Mr first name, ALL elderly were Mr or Mrs last name (unless related)
We do a whole lot of ma'am and sir.
My childrens friends call me Mrs Vicki.
Perhaps as your kids get older you'll feel different, perhaps not. But remember - before you start telling parents they are teaching their children to be disrepectful, you ARE just a newbie at this parenting thing and have a whole lot to learn.
2006-08-04 02:57:46 · answer #7 · answered by Miss Vicki 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must live in the South! I noticed the same thing! I wonder if it has its roots in the plantation era? I agree with you wholeheartedly, and i try to teach my daughter that what goes on in her daycare is only acceptable there, and when she is at home, or around me, she does as I'd like and show people their proper respect. It may sound like a mixed message, but tough, my little girl's going to learn that she's not the only person in this world who deserves to be respected.
2006-08-04 02:16:14 · answer #8 · answered by illustrat_ed_designs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I haven't thought of it as disrespectful before now. I occasionally address people that way, and think it is a way to address someone that you have a higher regard for.
Like if you name was Doug, or Emily,
"Mr. Doug" or "Mrs. Emily" sounds more formal and endearing than just the first name.
So long as the little ones don't start addressing people with, "Yo B!a-tch" I think it's ok.
2006-08-04 04:03:24 · answer #9 · answered by DJFresh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on the child, and the way they are being raised.
My children are 5 and 6. They address people as Mrs. Smith, or Mr Smith. It's done out of respect.
Although, I do not like being addresses as "Mrs. Smith" by my children's friends, it is in fact what they call me despite my many attempts to have them call me "Jane".
2006-08-04 02:20:52 · answer #10 · answered by mediocre_poet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be a regional thing too. Hear tell that one of the most noble men ever to live, General Robert E. Lee, was almost invariably addressed as Marse Robert (Master Robert, Mr. Robert)
2006-08-04 04:24:18 · answer #11 · answered by knoodelhed 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋