If you have a worker-type friendship relationship, (as I do) with a coworker of mine and I ask her to join me for lunch – does that mean I am supposed to pay for her meal?
I mean... I have no problem doing so if I have the money, and our relationship is purely leveled as I already have a girl and she knows this. I am just wondering that if *just because I invited her* to join me for lunch, does that automatically suggest I should have to pay?
Want to make sure I know the right etiquette here. Thanks! ^_^
2006-08-04 01:56:44 · 25 answers · asked by Answers Anyone 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
it depends on how you phrase the invitation. if you say, "i'm heading out to lunch, wanna come along?" then you don't have to pay, but if you're like, "would you like to come out to lunch with me," then you should probably pay. good luck
2006-08-04 02:03:20 · answer #1 · answered by mamabird 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have said that this is a worker-type friendship relationship that is purely leveled. By this I am assuming you mean that their is no romantic involvement between the two of you what so ever and that you are getting to together for lunch because you are friends or to discuss business and that you are not trying to develop a romantic relationship with this woman. She knows that you have a girlfriend.
If this is the case, treat her like you would any man. You could either go dutch or have one person pay this time and the other can pay next time.
2006-08-04 09:09:55 · answer #2 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. If you had invited a male coworker to lunch probably neither of you would assume you were paying for both. This woman is on the same level as that metophorical guy: just a coworker. Especially since she knows you're attached. Having said that I wouldn't make this a habit...
To avoid awkwardness land the ball in her court. Come lunch time when the server asks "Are you together?" casually turn to her & say "Did ya wanna go ahead & do separate checks, or just split one bill?"
2006-08-04 09:06:43 · answer #3 · answered by Back in the Day 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if it's purely a co-worker, I'd expect to go Dutch. It's like going out on a double-date, usually the couples split the bill somehow.
If it were just a cup of coffee - co-workers buy each other coffee all the time. Or going out with friends for a beer after work - usually you take turns buying. But lunch is a little different, and if it's not any kind of "date" situation, I'd expect to go Dutch. But it would be worse to make a big deal out of it, so if she expects you to pay because you invited, then just go with it.
2006-08-04 09:52:00 · answer #4 · answered by locolady98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are the one that invited her to lunch i think you should pay. But then again if you are just friends, maybe not. Has she payed for herself in the past?
Also you could just say (very casually)... "Would you like me to pick up the check"... or something like that.
If you are not in a relationship, relationship, I would not be too worried. You are friends anyway, so you do not have to worry about it too much.
2006-08-04 09:20:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A very good question. If it's just platonic, then no. It's all in the asking:
1) "I was going to go to joe's crab shack, want to join me:" you don't pay
2) "Want to go grab a bite": you don't pay
3) "I was wondering if you'd like to go have lunch with me some time this week" - You do pay and it ain't platonic.
4) "There's this new beer pub I've been meaning to try, it might be a bit pricey but it sounds like it's worth it, interested??" You don't pay
The most important thing to keep in mind is this - by offering to buy her lunch you might be sending out signals that you're interested in dating her - so don't pay unless it's true.
2006-08-04 09:49:31 · answer #6 · answered by Clockwork Grape 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would throw the etiquette question out the window and just pay for lunch, same as I would for other friends. Sometimes I pay, sometimes they pay. Chances are next time she will invite you and treat you for lunch, that's what friends do.
2006-08-04 09:24:44 · answer #7 · answered by Kayt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you have a girl and this other woman is a co-worker, no you don't have to pay for her. It is probably a very gentleman thing to do though but you don't have to.
You're just hanging out for lunch.
2006-08-04 23:17:40 · answer #8 · answered by Friend 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you invite someone for lunch or whatever you are supposed to pay unless you do so and tell the person "you are going dutch style" which means everyone to pay their own expenses if not stated you pay.
if she knows its dutch style she will either say yes or no depending on her pocket otherwise she will come knowing its catered for.
thanks for asking others will learn from this. i got embarrassed once by a guy coz of this issue, he paid his own lucky me i had money coz the waiter came after me! isshhhhhhh......
2006-08-04 09:05:31 · answer #9 · answered by Ruby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! You both work, so you both can pay your own lunches. Or else, you can decide between yourselves that one time you pay for both and next time she pays!
Not even if she was more than a collegue, you just invited her over not imposed lunch out!
2006-08-04 09:02:35 · answer #10 · answered by trushka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋