For months he begged that I "crack" the door and let him in a little. I finally did, and every other day he gets indecisive about what he wants. Says he is scared, and does not know if love is worth the pain that can go with it. His ex-wife was unfaithful to him as my ex was with me. He has been having these issues more frequently, and I have been trying to be patient, but the rollercoaster is killing me. The last thing he said was that he was miserable with the thought of being without me, and would do whatever it took to "fix" whatever was wrong with him. Then yesterday, the day after he said that, he started withdrawing again. I am trying to be patient, as he is going thru a lot of life changes and uncertainty (retiring after 20 years in military etc....) I do not believe this man is doing this to be a jerk, but wondering if I should just move on, or if being patient with him is what I should be.
2006-08-04 01:25:30 · 8 answers · asked by Jennifer O 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You should only be, and I repeat, only be his friend that will listen. Nothing more - No touching,no kissing, no fondling, etc. What you are is a "transition" so he feels he is man enough to go out again and get what he really wants - that is, when he decides what that is. Do not get stuck in this mess.
2006-08-04 01:30:27 · answer #1 · answered by 'Barn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest he seek a therapist to get these feelings off his chest. I bet he is falling in love with you, and that scares him. I would feel the same way he does if after a long marriage, it ended in divorce. He sounds like a nice guy, I would see if either, he or both of you, could go to counseling. :) Hope everything works out!
2006-08-04 08:33:49 · answer #2 · answered by The Kings 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stop playing his game. Stop seeing him and I'm sure he will make up his mind if he cares for you. That will make him come to his senses either way. You deserve better than someone who persued you and then started becoming confused about the whole thing. He had enough time when he was persuing you to realize whether or not he wanted to be with someone.
2006-08-04 08:31:36 · answer #3 · answered by nastaany1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is what we men call gun shy. he is very insecure, he has no trust in women right now. he is scared of being hurt again and you are in for a hell of a ride if you do not set him down and give him an alternative. you will be 65 and still waiting for him to come around. my advice is turn him loose. find you a man who is self confident and willing to venture into a relationship.
2006-08-04 08:33:50 · answer #4 · answered by duc602 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it's too early for him to get involved in any serious relationship. He should do a lot of casual dating before he decides to "settle down" again. I'm sorry you had to get caught up in this!
2006-08-04 08:33:00 · answer #5 · answered by Mary C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he said he would do what ever it takes to fix it - It may take for him to get him self together and not be in a relationship right now maybe you guys need a break for awhile that he can get him self together
2006-08-04 08:33:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he meant open "your" crack instead of the doors. once you did that he determined that he can have your crack without having to commit. men are men are men. always the same. give it to them free and they will never want to pay for it
2006-08-04 08:31:30 · answer #7 · answered by notyours 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you must be kidding. How on earth would you let him in when you are not married to him? he is likely to use you and dump you thereafter. be guided.
2006-08-04 08:31:02 · answer #8 · answered by ma cherie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋