im divorce ,and i feel guilty for my 5 years old baby ,what should i do?i didnt have life with her father,is this normal?
2006-08-04 00:31:17 · 11 answers · asked by Kathie 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Yes, it is normal to feel guilty, but don't let it overwhelm you, and DON'T let it be an excuse to spoil your child. Only you know your reasons for divorcing, but I know that when I divorced it was the best thing I could have done for my children, as well as myself. They had a much better life without their father in their lives. I shudder to think what they might have turned out like if he had been around every day. Right now they are 23, 22, and 16, and they are all happy, healthy, kind, moral people. It's up to you to raise your child with moral values and to teach them to be a decent person.
So yes, it is perfectly normal to feel guilt because you feel like you are depriving the child of a so called "normal" home life, but please don't allow that guilt to guide your judgments. Too many people let the guilt guide them and end up turning their children into spoiled brats. Don't do that. If you feel like you need some emotional and moral support, check out your local church. Very often churches have support groups for single parents.
2006-08-04 00:44:03 · answer #1 · answered by missmuffin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes this is normal. A person realizes that the child or children would have had a better life if the parents had been happy together and were still married, Even if you did everything right and it was your husband who left you, you would feel guilty just because you are a human and you realize that no human is perfect.
The mistake that some parents make after a divorce, because they feel guilty, and because they worry that the children will be angry at them for the divorce, is to do too much for the child and to give in to the child too much, and spoil the child.
Being a single parent is hard. I pray that you have a supportive family, because it would be best if they help you in raising the child. Of course the Father should do 1/2 of the work too.
2006-08-04 07:48:12 · answer #2 · answered by Smartassawhip 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it's normal to feel gulty about it. Your baby is 5.. and she doesn't know what's happening. The hardest thing for her, is going to be seeing you upset.
Children should never have to deal with adult problems. They're children, and how you handle this separation will affect her the rest of her life. Try not to let her see you sad or crying. Don't allow her to hear you say bad things about her father.. he's her father, and while things didn't work out for you and him.. she still loves him.. and this is hard for her too.
Feeling guilty is part of being a mother.. you've taken the father out of her immediate life.. and while you did it for a good reason, you still feel bad for the baby. Let her know that her daddy still loves her.. and he will still be there when she needs him.. but that's about all you're going to be able to do now.. untill she's a little older and can understand better.
2006-08-04 08:19:12 · answer #3 · answered by Imani 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel guilty, my mother raised me alone(they divorced before I was born), but she made me happy. It is normal to love and take care of your little girl. Be a good mom and you will see that you aren't guilty at all. There will be moments when you wish to have a person, a dad for your child, but now you must leave and forget that man if he doesn't wants to love and raise his daughter. Now you have a small life in your hands that needs your love, happiness,care and protection. live your life wit you child and you will be a very happy person.Best wishes for you and your child. You aren;t guilty for all that has happened! You are lucky like my mother to have a child.
2006-08-04 07:40:11 · answer #4 · answered by Soso 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A child can't develop normally or happily in an environment where there is tension all the time Don't feel guilty just work with the circumstances you are in and as long as she has lots of love she'll be fine.
2006-08-04 07:40:11 · answer #5 · answered by sereneicequeen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is normal, we all feel guilty when our hearts and minds are in turmoil. Try and think positive and not guilty.
2006-08-04 07:39:49 · answer #6 · answered by Search 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it is. You feel responsible for your child's upbringing and, quite frankly, that's pretty OK.
You might need to talk to someone about your feelings though...
2006-08-04 07:37:20 · answer #7 · answered by Murg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal.
2006-08-04 07:37:44 · answer #8 · answered by tonyintoronto@rogers.com 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, it's very normal, but it passes darling it really does, you need to show your baby girl what true happiness is, find yourself and you'll find happiness and then your daughter will benifit...
Good Luck
2006-08-04 07:38:59 · answer #9 · answered by vinyl_mad 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you love your daughter!
2006-08-04 07:37:25 · answer #10 · answered by S&S Dragons 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋