Why does my abusive ex husband insist on trying to get a rise out of me?

Question

We live apart, I ceased all communication other than about our daughter.
My other kids cant bare him. They lost all respect for him (teens and adult now)
He insists on texting random rubbish, accusing, twisting and sucessfully making me feel like crap. why cant he leave well alone.
He's like Jekyl and Hyde and trying to get anything emotional from me would be like trying to resusitate a pile of bones.
Why cant he just get on with his life?
because he has two failed marriages due to his domestic voilence?
Temper? what? why cant he **** off!
What does he get out of it??

RE: Sam -What is his version?

he hit me
he hit my kids
My 15 year old has a scar on her face from his temper
he smashed up my home over 7 years, which part do you want?

THATS his side.

Thanks for the suggestions
A) I'm *already* ignoring him and dont rise to it
and
B) i dont think 'yoga' will help :O/

Answer 1

Sounds like your ex is an emotional cripple, who only understands getting attention in one way: by abusing other people in his life. What a pathetic person!

He can only feel good about himself by abusing others. You are, unfortunately, someone he was "close" to once. You are a known target for his abuse. He may not try this crap with a stranger.

If you have to share custody of your daughter with him, start saving EVERY LITTLE SCRAP of communication from him. Document everything he says/does, record every telephone conversation, etc. You may be able to petition the court for full custody of your daughter, especially if he treats her the same way. Once that is done, you could get a restraining order (order of protection) against him. That would forbid him to contact you in person or come anywhere near you. Child support payments could be handled through the Friend of the Court.

Don't think you are alone in this. He probably treats everybody like crap!

Remember that you are a person of worth, and don't believe the lies that he tries to spew on you.

Consider changing your cell phone #, and blocking any calls/texts from his number. Try to eliminate any "need" for him to communicate with you about your child, so he has no excuse for "needing" to call or text you. Explain the situation to your child's teachers, scout leaders, 4H group leaders, sunday school teachers, etc., so they know to come to you directly, and not try to send you messages through your ex.

That is a start.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

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Answer 4

Well i feel for ya girl. The last thing anyone needs is a stalker boyfriend/hubby on their azz.! Basically he is very insecure with himself. he won't leave u alone until he probably has another girl or woman to pick on. He doesn't want you to be happy because he isnt't happy. The more that he knows he can get a rise out of you, then the more he will keep up with it. It is very hard but ignore him and get on with your life! who cares what he wants! he lost his chance. his problem. be acertive and dont put up with his crap anymore!! don't answer his calls, block his number, email, change your phone number, do whatever u have to do and have a couple awsome males to back u up if needed. so if there is any problem they can back u up..if u cant get that then put a peace bond out on him for harrassing you. Make a list, there is so much u can do. One thing is though , if u allow him to keep getting to u then he is winning...show him u mean business if u really do.
good luck!! It can only get better from worse!

Answer 5

A great way to get your ex back is https://tr.im/9Qvip

They might realize they need you and come crawling back!

If you do get back together, don't let the same issues that destroyed your relationship crop up again. Have a good, long talk about how you're both going to make it right this time.

Answer 6

I think he is just sadistic and gets a kick out of hurting you all. He can see that his kids have turned against him and you are obviously making a new life without him, HE IS LOSING HIS CONTROL AND POWER OVER YOU ALL! He can't stand that so is exerting more pressure, don't rise to it, ignore him as best you can. The fact that he is making you feel like 'crap' is a response in itself. Do not even give him the satisfaction of that, you spent way too many years feeling like that when you were married to him. Well done for getting away! Take care of yourself and your children, you are safe now, change your mobile number and wipe him out of your lives for good. Take care.

Answer 7

He does it because he has pain. Most people in this world have pain. Why do people have pain? Because of ego. Ego loves drama (I think you can relate to that; I make no aplogies) To let go of ego we need to let go of the past, because it no longer exists!!! The only real thing is now. If we only have now, it becomes the death of ego and we see the inner self, the most beautiful part of ourselves, the Divine. I suggest that you forgive yourself and everyone. Forgive him, just tell yourself you will let go of any association with him, and be surrounded by nice energy and believe NOW is the only reality....all else is pure illusion a fabrication of the mind which feeds ego....get my drift? When you clear your inner space, you will then see him as the owner of a massive pain body and if you remove yourself from the drama, you will no longer suffer as a result of his actions. I also suggest you totally have no reaction to what he does, after all he does not have enlightenment and you will have it. Meditation will also help. I suggest Sahaja Yoga as it is free; they do not believe in taking people's money. Do a Yahoo search to find out more. Best of luck and please maintain the belief that you can do anything!!! You really can!! Believe me there is a lot of power in clearing up your inner space.

Answer 8

Its a power thing babe, hes a weak person so has to know hes in control of something. I suggest chaning your phone number and only keeping in contact via paper, ie letters or solicitors letters. Also, seek advice from your local CAB office, theyll probably have some more suggesions. Good luck and try not to get down about it or rise to the bait, as this is only making him continue. Hugs xx

Answer 9

Listen.... You've got to take this one serious and report everything about him to the police and if that don't work, you might try getting your brothers or cousins to kick his stupid cave man azz.
Sometimes, you got to fight fire with fire but only as an absolute last resort.
Maybe you should move to another state far away from the jerk-off, but you need to take this harassment serious..... go see some body in the law enforcement division or court system..... call hotline numbers anything... just don't sit back and take the abuse. If not for yourself..... do it for your childrens sake. In my state, they take this very seriously and lock up dummies like that....I hope you find help.

And don't forget to change your cell number or change your text thingy...... I'm sorry if I came on too strong.... but I hate guys like that.... they make real men look stupid. I wouldn't let anything like that happen to any of my female family members.

God bless and protect you.... I hope you can find some help.

Answer 10

Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/sJqAp

Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.

The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.

Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.