My bf and I have been dating for 5.5 yrs...at around our 2.5 year mark we talked about marriage, and he said he was not ready since he just graduated. He told me he wants to secure a job and everything before he is ready. I understood that, and didn't bug him about marriage since, but now 5.5 years later I brought it up again and he says he still isn't ready, he doesn't have enough $. He wants to wait til 2010 to get married...that's almost another 4 years!...So, I said lets get engaged and he said he didn't want to do any such thing! I said if we are engaged, I don't mind waiting 3-4 years, but if he has no intention of marrying me he needs to tell me...and so he said that he know we are gonna be stuck together in the end...so I shouldn't be so worried and all caught up about marriage.
My question is, if a guy loves you, you love him...shouldn't he be happy about wanting to get married and spending the rest of each others lives together?
2006-08-03 23:36:14 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes. He should but maybe he is trying to be cautious, although that's a bit much. he could be just afraid of being committed.. hate to say it but after 5 years if he is still not sure, there is probably nothing you can do to "prod" him to the alter. I think he likes the setup you have.. And as long as you are willing to let him get away with it, he is not going to take the next step.. Might have to move on. Guys are out there who would jump at the chance to marry you! Go out and meet one and stop letting life pass you by! Take care and good luck..
2006-08-03 23:44:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should move on. You gave a very reasonable compromise of saying you'd wait if you were engaged and he still wouldn't go for it. What's to say he'll have the money in 2010? You do not have to wait forever.
2006-08-04 06:44:31 · answer #2 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's very difficult.
he could be telling the truth, or he could be using you until he feels ready to search for a good wife.
but it's also very suspicious. he has not objected to the idea of marriage, just the idea of marrying you.
in my opinion you should demand marriage or leave him, because most normal people think marriage and commitment is more important than money.
2006-08-04 06:47:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds unsure. I think you should tell him that you need a time out. Stop calling him for a while and see what his reaction will be. This might even help him realize just how much he wants you in his life. Good Luck!
2006-08-04 06:43:45 · answer #4 · answered by I Am Jack's Wasted Life 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would.
Thats a long time together so thats great, but either he really is just worried about money or he wants to savor the last "ball&chain"-free days IMO.
2006-08-04 06:44:05 · answer #5 · answered by locote956 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be married, he dosent want that, its a comitment, and he dosent want that, he keeps putting it off and probley always will,
2006-08-04 07:46:42 · answer #6 · answered by freebuns76 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋