6 years and no ring...am I being selfish?

Question

I love my bf, we have been together for 6 years, and yet no ring. I mean we talked about marriage and stuff at the 3 year mark and he said he wasn't ready because he just got out of school. I didn't bring it up again until recently...on our 6 year mark...and he said he wasn't ready again...but this time it was because he hasn't saved up enough money. He says it may take him another 3-4 years. I told him I am willing to wait another 3-4 years, as long as we get engaged and he said he didn't want to do that...why would he say that? He tells me he thinks we will end up together, but just not now....what does that mean? Should I wait?

I am 25 and he is 27. We don't live together and I don't intend to move in with him unless he intends to marry me. Am I being selfish?

Answer 1

selfish.give it more time, he will eventually be ready.

Answer 2

It sounds like he wants to play the field before he commits to you and is just being too selfish to be upront with you about it. It is understandable that he might have some wild oats to sow if he is only 27 and has been with you for six years, but he should be more honest with you about it. There is no rush to get married at such a young age, but it does sound as though he is leading you on a bit. If you are certain that you are very much in love and will still want to be together forever and not just in three years I don't see why you would need to wait but he really might want to save money for a wedding or an engagement ring. Maybe he wants to do it right. You are the only one who knows him well enough to say if that seems like something he would do. If you think it just an excuse, I would break up with him. If it is meant to be, it will be someday anyway. Sometimes you have to take risks like that to get what you really want.

Answer 3

not selfish, if he is not ready after 6 years and not even living together and doesn't know if he will be ready in 3 more years then chances are he will never be ready.

seems like he may have more than one girlfriend and he is just playing the field, not to sound mean but it seems kind of stupid to wait around for someone that long

Answer 4

Selfish no.patient yes maybe the word i am lokking for is tolerant, how dare he say he thinks that you will end up together. After 6 years you would think that he already knows. I think he is now way too comfortable with the way things are right now.
I say give him an ultimatum give him 3 months or less to decide whether he wants to marry you or not if still is not sure WALK AWAY ann find someone else who will appreciate you.

Answer 5

i honestly think that you're not being selfish at all. its just natural for women at your age to want to marry already.... i even want to marry already at my age now. but i think that having not enough money is reason enough to say that he's not ready. my boyfriend and i talk about getting married too. im 22 and he's 27..but he always tells me that if only he has the money, he'll surely marry me even if its tomorrow. if you can feel that your boyfriend is willing enough to marry you, then that's fine...maybe you should just wait for the right time. but if you cant feel that he really is serious about marrying you in the future, then maybe there's something else going on with him. maybe emotionally he is not yet ready to commit to you. but you cant force him, because marriage requires that both of you are willing and ready. so if you are really sure that it is him that you want to spend your entire life with, then it might be worth it to wait another 3-4 years. if thats what you have to do.... but good luck on that. i hope he does change his mind about waiting 3-4 years coz i honestly think that's too long. but good luck anyway.

Answer 6

I understand what you mean coz I am women either.....and of course you won't spend another 6 years with another men. I think you should make sure if he really loves you or he just want to have a girlfriend having fun together. Don't wait another 3 to 4 years because its not worthy at all! We have limited youth and we can't wait too long.

Answer 7

No you're not selfish and he's wise enough to tell you things as they truly are. Just go your own separate ways because by the time he'll be ready (if at all) he'll be in his thirties and so will you which is rather late for settling and raising a family. Wish him luck and find yourself a future partner who is worthy of your true fidelity and devotion. Good Luck.

Answer 8

NO I know where you are coming From I would feel the same
My last Boy friend ask me to marry him 3wks later he gone off working He had his mom to tell Me It was over .
I when & bought my self a pretty Ring to wear
showing Him I don't make a man to Put a Ring on My finger My finger was Acateing for a Ring so I understand Good Luck Believe in you Boy friend .

Answer 9

i think u should move in together and see how that works out.... there is seeing someone everyday and then going back to your own place where u are alone and u have your " space" and there is living with a potential life partner where you wont really have that.... but 6 years is a long time.... i think a trial living together just to see how u 2 mesh together will determine a lot

Answer 10

Better get married soon. In 3-4 years you will be 29 which is kind of old to start dating again if it doesn't work out. The biological clock is ticking.

Answer 11

Angel lady I must appreciate you decision and you have shown real courage to accept the truth , I can make out you will be very strong and will prove to be very adorable wife , keep it up encouraging your b/f to become independent and strong to take care of you tenderly and that is the time you should move in with him , till then both must pray for each others success & happiness .