A man and his wife are fast asleep when?

Question

they are woken up by a knocking at the door, the wife nudges her husband "George the door"
He looks at the clock "Its 3.30am! I'm not getting up"
"It could be important" she says
Begrudgingly he gets up puts his trousers on and looks for his shoes all the while the knocking is continuous. He goes downstairs turns the porch light on opens the door and finds a man, obviously drunk swaying from side to side. "Can u give me a push?" he slurs.
"No its 3.30 in the morning get lost!" he closes the door goes back upstairs gets undressed and gets into bed" Who was it?" his wife asks
"Some drunk wanting a push. I told him to get lost"
"That’s not very Christian of you! Do you remember last Christmas when our car broke down at midnight in the middle of the country and that farmer came out and helped us push the car until it started?! Where would we have been if he had said get lost?!"
Knowing he would never hear the end of it he got up got dressed and went downstairs he opened the door it was cold and foggy "Hello" he called "are you still there?"
"Yes" the drunk called back from the fog
"Do you still need a push?"
"Yes"
"Where are you?"
"Over here on your swing!!!'

Answer 1

THAT is hysterical! Thanks for the laugh! My friends know I rarely mail out bulk stuff, but that just went out to my whole list. Everyone needs a good laugh on a Friday morning!

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

Yes" the drunk called back from the fog

Answer 4

Differences Between Men And Women In The Shower

Shower Habits Of Men And Women
How to Shower Like a Woman
1. Take off fourteen layers of clothing you put on this morning.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing robe and towel on head. If you happen to see husband along the way, ignore juvenile "turban-head" jokes and run to bathroom.
3. Look at womanly physique in mirror and stick out stomach so as to complain about how fat you're getting.
4. Turn on hot water only.
5. Get in the shower, once you've found it through all the steam.
6. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
7. Wash hair once with cucumber and lemon shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
8. Rinse hair. Condition your hair with cucumber and lemon conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
9. Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red and raw.
10. Try to wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Java Cake bodywash.
11. Complain bitterly when you realize that your husband has once again been EATING your ginger nut and java cake body wash.
12. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes, as you must make sure that all the conditioner has come off).
13. Debate shaving armpits and legs and decide that you can't be bothered.
14. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you get a rush of cold water.
15. Turn hot water on full and rinse off.
16. Dry with a towel the size of a small African country.

How to Shower Like a Man
1. Sit on the edge of the bed and take off the underwear you've walking around the house in all morning. Leave them on the floor.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing a towel. If you see your wife along the way, flash her.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Pat your beer belly with affection as if it was a great achievement. Suck in your gut to see if you have pecs. (No.)
4. Turn on the water.
5. Check for pecs again. (Still no.)
6. Get in the shower.
7. Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (You don't use one.)
8. Spend 5 minutes soaping your body and rinse.
9. Spend 15 minutes washing your crotch and surrounding area.
10. Wash your rear end.
11. Shampoo your hair, do not use conditioner.
12. Make a shampoo mohawk.
13. Open the door and look at yourself in the mirror, giggle.
14. Pee.
15. Repeat #9, because it felt good.
16. Rinse off and get out of the shower.
17. Pick up the towel and sniff it. If it smells okay, go ahead and dry off with it. If it doesn't smell okay, holler to your wife to find you a clean one.
18. Return to the bedroom wearing the towel; if you pass your wife, flash her.

Answer 5

Very Good , Sherry Baby, Nice Joke

Very Big Smile on my face

Keep it up

What up

Answer 6

Sleep will naturally comes after a shower or completion of an
intercourse. Of course the two can also talk theirselves to sleep.

Answer 7

same couple.. dude parked his camper and got ready to dive into the the west coast florida surf.
but first he asked the local townfolk...
about the alligator situation.
"nope.. no alligaters here" everybody said
he swam out a way and wondered...
"hey! how come no alligaters here?" , yelling to people on shore..
"because they're afraid of the sharks!!!"

Answer 8

at that point i'd shoot him... piss me off that much get me up out of bed at 3:30 and you are on my property and your drunk. you deserve a cap in your a$$

Answer 9

ha!very funny but easy!ANSWER:HE NEEDS A PUSH ON THE SWING!

Answer 10

sherry baby you cheered me up and have a little giggle.x
i was wandering what i should do today in new zealand,its saturday, fairly warm.golf?, skiing?, surfing?.