1st child off to Kindergarten, worried about behavior?

Question

My 5 yr old starts kindergarten in 2 weeks, and i'm starting to get REALLY nervous. She's very bright and excelled in pre-k, but over the summer her attitude and ways of thinking have changed. Now she's very insecure like, quiet when addressed. She's even flinching when people raise their hands, like we beat her or something! I'm not sure if she's watched something thats taught her that this way of behavior is okay, which i can't fathom. She is with me 90% of the day, and the 10% she's sleeping! Ive been at home with her for all 5 years. This all started about 3-4 weeks after pre-k got out. I called the teacher even and asked if anything happened to her, or if something happened to another child, but of course no answers there. I'm worried about her entering kindergarten with a fearful insecure onset. She's NEVER been that way, and i'm very scared that she'll start her school experience in a bad way.Anyone ever see this in their child? Anyone with advice on what to do?

She's also gotten into a phase of becomng a dull brick wall when you talk to her, and she always claims forgetfulness for everything. She's also getting more and more into trouble, and i'm just really scared that somethings happened to her at this point. And i'm clueless @ this point, because i havent had a day off since pre-k started, not even a night out with my husband. SO this behaviors some how developed here at home, with me, her sister (whos 3 and a half) and my husband. (whos home only to see them go to bed 45 minutes later.

-I want to add, that our family is not strict, is not shy or quiet or timid. The comment about if youve met the child youve met the parent, i find that to be 100% untrue. And im offended that you can so easily accuse someone of something so easily! I didn't even think about talking to my pedi about her behaviours, ive thought of everything else I thin kbut that! Thanks everyone.

Answer 1

I have found that my older son's behavior changes when school is in, or out.......or for that matter, if he goes on vacation with other people, or some other major environment change. I think you did your homework and apparently nothing drastic happened to her.
When my son was about to change schools last summer and go into 2nd grade, around the beginning of August, he started not going to sleep. He started these phobias about hearing voices at night, and being scared of this and that. We went through a few months of torture......I determined that it was the change from summer vacation, to "back to school".....and a NEW school at that. I was worried sick that he was having mental problems, but as soon as he got comfortable in his school routine and the new schedule at home, he was fine.
Perhaps she's spending too much time with you at home. It's a good time NOW to get her into the back to school routine......bedtimes, wake-up times, etc. See if you can meet some of the Kindergarted kids early and set up a few play dates before September.........she'll see some familiar faces when she walks in the classroom.
I know it's scary, but some kids react to change in a way you can never understand. And since you said it started after pre-k got out, that's surely the problem. She may have been very comfortable and confident in her prek class and now everything is changing.....including being stuck at home with mom all summer. She may not express it, but she probably has anxiety over what to expect in a new class. If your school has an orientation program, most do.....then take her to it. Don't worry.......these things tend to work themselves out, as long as you keep giving her that constant reassurance and love that you already give.

Answer 2

You need to call the school that your daughter will be going to and ask if they have a list or know what they need to know. They usually have a list for parents to follow. It is different for every school. Some schools require more than others. Knowing her alphabet, recognizing letters and numbers up to atleast 10 is important. More important than academics is whether or not she is independent and can dress and undress herself with no problems, go to the bathroom by herself, get along with other children, sit and listen to stories and follow simple instructions. She can know all the academics, but if she doesn't have these other skills it will make it difficult to get thru in school. Don't worry so much about what other children are rattling off. Some of these children may know about these things, but when it comes to some of the basics they have no clue.

Answer 3

I'm pretty positive that the child had a negative experience recently and since the only time you're not with her is when she goes to pre-k. I would focus my concentration there and ask other parents and see if they are experiencing similar situations with their kids. This is a very important time in your kids life and I suggest that you take some time to get to the bottom of her behaviour. Hiring a P.I. (Private Investigator) would do it if you don't have the time. A camera on her backpack that she takes to school and another camera at home. Believe me all the efforts that you take now is worth it than blaming yourself for the rest of your life for not taking any actions or slow on your reactions. Goodluck!

Answer 4

My daughter is very similar. She is just a very sensitive girl.

It does sound like something may be going on with your daughter though, if the behavior just started recently. How is her pediatrician? Maybe you could discuss it with him/her.

Also, another ally that you'll have will be her teacher. Maybe she'll act differently at school. If she does have problems, her teacher may be able to help identify the problem.

Unfortunately quiet children are usually over looked in the classroom. With 18+ unruly children demanding the teacher's attention, the few quiet ones receive little attention. If her teacher is aware of the (potential) problem that your daughter is having, she may be able to keep a closer eye on her.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Ya know it may just be a phase but if this is something really out of the ordinary it may not hurt to get her to a counselor to make sure nothing has happened, Especially at that Pre-k. I am a paranoid parent and I wouldn't put anything past anyone these days. Better safe than sorry. Good luck.

Answer 6

Sounds like she was abused and told NOT TO TELL. Girl, get your child seen immediately because somethings not right. How could a child so bright and responsive turn into an insecure, nervous wreck! I really doubt that she is nervous about starting Kindergarten, so something's definitely wrong.

Answer 7

sounds like she's partly "bored" with the whole school idea, and partly nervous herself...
usually in school you'll get weekly reports and daily notes if she misbehaved in anyway..
give her a week or two in school and see if she rebounds (and she should) if she doesnt, then talk to her teacher. she may be able to help...
although.. kids are generally better for a stranger than for family....
also, have you had her eyes and ears checked recently? just to make sure there isnt a vision or hearing problem that is prompting such responses from her...
if not they will screen her at school....
dont fret so much mom... she'll be ok.. :)

Answer 8

Talk to her doctor. See if he has any input on why she could be acting this way.

Ask her how she feels about leaving her old school and starting a new school.

Take her to tour her new school and meet the teacher ahead of time so she'll be at least sort of familiar already on her first day.

Answer 9

Such a drastic change of behavior has to have a reason. Look into take her to a child psychologist, a lot of medical insurance will cover it.

Also it could be something she saw on television or at the park that you didn't deem a big deal but to her it was a traumatic thing.

Answer 10

You will always be worried as this is her first time at school. She is probably just nervous. I think it will sort itself out in the first few weeks. Let her explore Kindergarten first and then see the teacher within a few weeks if it still occurs.