My boyfriend and I were talking and he told me that he cheated on me five times with somone about 15 years older than he is. I cant break up with him becasue i love him but the thing is that my ex came back in my life and we are doing great. i cant reject my ex but i cant break up with my boyfriend.
2006-08-03 19:47:27 · 27 answers · asked by adam L's gurl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Okay, enough playing soap operas, it's time to get on with life. You can't have your cake and eat it also.
If the guy is cheating on you what in the world do you think he's going to keep doing if the relationship continues. Sounds like a bad boy to me and you are in the trap of their spell. Break out now and get back to the nice guys, they always do the right things and treat you the best...
My suggestion, break up with the loser (bad boy) and get back with the nice guy (ex) and see what happens.
You don't have to make any real decisions yet in life, you have plenty of time, take the time....
2006-08-03 19:57:20 · answer #1 · answered by teddybearloverus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl,
you are going to have problems then. your hurting your self by being with a guy whos has cheated on you five times and with an older woman. who says he wont do it again? you may love him but if hes doing that then he doesnt love you. and your young there are still other guys out there and im not talking about your ex. you and him are history there was a reason why you two broke up and that reason is probably still there.
all this is for you to decide i cant do it for you nor can anyone else, talk to your boyfriend about what your feeling with all this
tho you might find that you will have to make a choice, girl you deserve so much better than an ex and a cheating bf.
keep that in mind and make the choice, no matter what it is, that is the best for you.
2006-08-04 02:57:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not breaking up with someone who is a serial cheater and has no respect for you because you "love" him is stretching the definition of love past the breaking point.
Love exists as a duality. It is not one way. It needs nurturing from another, which demands the respect that your boyfriend isn't giving you.
Run away. And don't judge yourself based upon people who don't respect you anyway. You need to start respecting yourself for what you are and what you bring to a relationship. If you don't, the other person will sense this and will dominate the relationship to the point of not even caring are you at all.
2006-08-04 02:53:42 · answer #3 · answered by PermDude 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I'm really sorry that you are dealing with this pain. Second, the situation you are in is really dysfunctional in many ways. Let's talk about your boyfriend. First of all the 30 something woman he is with is sick and breaking the law. Second, the fact that he is involved in this situation indicates that there are issues in his life. You can't fix these issues and they definately aren't your fault and have NOTHING to do with you. I'm concerned about the fact that you say you "can't" break up with him because you love him. I'm sure you do love him but you also must love yourself. I'm guessing you are a teen yourself. Please listen when I tell you that learning to make healthy relationship decisions is very important to your future happiness. Love is something we give and receive freely but it is difficult to do that when one or both parties don't have the capacity to do so. While you may have genuine feelings for this person who cheated on you 5 times, you are young and you have EVERY right to think of yourself and your happiness. If you have someone from your past that you wish to pursue a relationship with, you have every right to do that. You are a young woman and you MUST break the pattern you are in. It is called co-dependency. I think you should consult a trusted adult such as a school counselor or other individual. Please feel free to contact me if you want to talk further. Remember, be happy and take care of you!
2006-08-04 03:13:00 · answer #4 · answered by UCURGYPSY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You love someone that has no respect for your feelings or commitment to your relationship or wel-being because you don't truly believe you are worth more.
You are certainly not alone or stupid for imaginig you love someone like him as some of the most confident looking and strong women buckle at a few well chosen words from a creep like him. They know what to say, when to say it and exactly what buttons to press to get a pre-planned response from you. Worst of all, they probably loathe themselves, they are insecure and continually need that "First phase flush of excitement" that a new or rekindled affair gives them in order to feel special or even loved. The minute things get routine or normal (as they do) they're off to seek new stimuli. These people cannot maintain a relationship they are too needy and controlling. Unless he is prepared to see someone about his serial infidelities and change you're in for a lifetime of being cheated on! He won't though because he's "never going to do it again"...right?
Do yourself a favour, get rid, see a counsellor or therapist to explore your feelings and try to find out why you are attracted to men that do you so much damage. Once you are free of these emotional constraints you can get out there and choose someone who will be a partner and value themselves as much as you. Healthy relationships may often appear "boring" because they lack the drama but do you really want to spend your life worring about where he is or with whom?
Think more of yourself......You're worth it!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-04 02:54:50 · answer #5 · answered by Bubbly lil Thing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well unfortunately u NEED to watch Desperate Housewives, and not to mention decide which of these boys u love most. I'd say dump ur good for nothing cheating bf, and maybe try to spark things up w/ur ex.
It's always worth a shot!
Good Luck :)
2006-08-04 02:51:57 · answer #6 · answered by Viola Dragon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're mad girl. once a cheater always a cheater. find a better guy who will love you and be with you alone.
as for the older woman, how old was he when they first went out together?
The only thing to do is to get rid of both of them!!
your current guy obviously does not love you as much as you love him or he would not have cheated in the first place.
dop you really want your ex back in your life and if so as what, friend or a lover?
you need to be clear with each of them what you want, if you really want them in your life.
your all as bad as eachother though saying all that, your ex, and your current. your current cheated with the older woman and you with your ex. you need to make up your mind as to who you want if either of them. and be honest and say to one of them " I really like you but as a friend" or to that effect.
2006-08-04 03:01:56 · answer #7 · answered by thebestnamesarealreadytaken0909 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to make a choice.
if he's cheated on you 5 times already then you need to kick him to the curb... he isnt worth having and he really isnt worth the heartache he will cause you in the long run....
love isnt worth that kind of misplaced trust, or hurt... and you deserve better than that...
besides, if he's done it 5 times, then guess what... there is something he likes about it so it will happen again... and i think he told you because if you let him get by with it, then you open the door for him to continue to have his cake and eat it too...
2006-08-04 02:54:36 · answer #8 · answered by Resasour 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
break up with ur ex
cheating shouldnent happen but if it does 5 times is untoleratble
2006-08-04 02:51:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um- wow. Let me see if I can get through to you.
Okay #1- You have to break up with your boyfriend.
#2- You HAVE TO break up with your boyfriend.
#3- YOU HAVE TO BREAK UP WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!
I don't care how much you love him or how wonderful he is- it's NOT going to work. I would be willing to bet everything I own.
He cheated on you, and you're about to cheat on him. NOT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. Break it off- or suffer.
2006-08-04 02:54:56 · answer #10 · answered by sierramac11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋