What would you do if you found out that a church invaded your privacy by calling your friends and telling them

Question

In September 2004, my hubby left our marriage, his relationship w/God & began pursuing a stripper. I felt my life was over & I could hardly breath. Because I was homless & only living out of a trailer that he had bought out of guilt for leaving, I knew I needed help, emotionally ect. I started going to this church & got involved with the womens groups ect, but because I had many issues & I was messed up in the head from what happened to me, I fell into a deep depression & clung onto anyone & everyone that wanted to be friends with me. I was dealing with SERIOUS co dependance issues ect. The church leaders wanted to help & put me through their discipleship program. The theology, however, was WAY off in many ways as I asked numerous pastors & counselors since. They wanted to help me w/ my bills,ie Cell & asked to see copies of them. I just found the returned ones & noticed that the numbers had names NOT in my writing, She had to hve called them to figure out who they were.

I was kicked out of the church in September of 05 and have since healed dramatically, but feel so violated as they called my friends, told people in the church that I was to be ignored and not contacted. Told them all sorts of things. She even called my friends from my hometown where I grew up and told them what was going on. Now, I am a Christian and because of that, I feel on the one hand that I should let it go, but I feel on the other hand like I should write letters to everyone in the congrgation and tell them what happened. Solely so if anyone else has issues that it be handled differently. They REALLY messed me up spiritually and it pisses me off! What would you do?? I realize this is a novel and I apologize but it was important that you had the most details..

Answer 1

Being honest, I would let it go because I would want the entire saga to end. By writing letters, you are adding fuel to the fire. To make your decision, ask yourself if you want this to become a battle or if you want to move on with your life. How you answer that will tell you how to proceed.

I'm sorry for all that happened to you. Remember, every person and every church is different so don't let this horrible incident color the rest of your future! Good luck!

Answer 2

Sorry for your problems. Hope things are getting better for you.

Could it be you were leaning on everyone so much for help they might not be able to or not qualified to give you they might have pushed you off. Seeking out a church to help you with your spirituality and give you strength to get you through you hard times was a good idea. It sounds like you needed to look elsewhere to find help in solving some of those problems though.
Like a program for your co-dependence and a counselor to help with the depression and the issues that caused it.

Maybe just stop living in the past and start getting on with your life is what you need to do. Loosing a loved one is hard and is a terrible thing. But it is over with move on and do not let it continue ruining your life.

Answer 3

All you can do is leave the church and find another you agree with. Don't try to go it alone. We are not designed to do that. Get back on the horse so to speak. All you have learned from the Bible is TRUTH, but what you are learning from this congregation is that people hurt others which makes them truly human and not God, Praise the Lord!. I understand - you trusted them but God tells us to forgive 70 X 7 times. You do not have to be around those people though. Find others who will uplift you!

If I were you, I would only write a generic letter to those you care about in the church and your family and friends which were contacted explaining (VAGUELY- because it really is none of their business one way or the other) that you care about them and would appreciate it if they would not be a part of the whole process of kicking someone when they are down because that is not what the Bible tells us to do, it tells us to BEAR one another's burdens.

Remember, God loves you no matter if you have plenty of friends or not. He is the ONLY one you must be concerned with.

Answer 4

Unfortunately you sound like you have been the victim of a church member who either gave into their own temptation or is not really a Christian after all. Either way, I recommend talking with your pastor and if he doesn't resolve the issue I would find another church to attend. Unfortunately, not all churches are doing the Lord's work. Some are just filling up seats on Sunday mornings. Know that I am praying for the Lord to heal your heart and to provide path to His love.

Answer 5

Your church helped you during a rough time. You confided your problems to many people and now you are complaining about the church's theology and claim that they invaded your privacy? I hope you can pay them back for the time, energy and money they have expended on your behalf and then ask their forgiveness and understanding for becoming so dependent on them. And don't forget to thank God that there were people ready, willing and able ti minister to you in your time of need.

Answer 6

I know this sounds cliche, but you need to pray about it. It sounds like you are way better off without that church, and I would just forget about it. If they did all of this while you were a member, what might they do now? I cannot believe that anyone who has a true relationship with God would do something like this.

Answer 7

What was done was called "shepherding". Translate to check you brains at the door and let a "trusted" member of the church think for you. I have seen it to the point that they won't do anything without asking their Shepard.

It is sick, demented and nowhere need the word of god. I am sorry to have that happen to you but I am glad you stopped it

Answer 8

No one can fix your problems for you, but i don't think that person should have done that you, but then again yougave them access to your personal life, was that your fault. I recently went through a horrible divorce and I know how it feels to be alone, but I would not disclose information like that to anyone just because something like this could happen. See a profession they are not allowed to disclose persoanl info. Confront the lady and ask her honestly why she had done that and tell her it bothered you.

Answer 9

Are you sure you didn't accidentally join into a cult. Sounds like one. This is the exact type of reality about certain people beliefs and spirituality that I do not like. No one is to steal your joy. No one! You have to dig deep into your soul and find what truly makes you happy and nurture that feeling, and live freely with it. No one is more important than you not one person more important than you and what you believe in.

Answer 10

Get a lawyer and sue the church for defecation of character. Or whatever it's called when someone makes you out to look like something you are not. If you would ever like to talk for any reason you can email me at [e-mail]