i have been told that i am very pretty, i am extremely outgoing and friendly, always nice and overall a good person. i have a college degree and the last couple guys i have dated have been threatened by all this. is that normal? is it something i should learn to get used to? i am going back to school for a PhD soon so is it just gonna get worse?
2006-08-03 18:35:57 · 43 answers · asked by Angel3192 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Alright, wow... big response to this question. I would just like to say to those guys who are insulting me... don't be so juvenile... I was bored and asked a question... I am not basing my life on yahoo answers thank you very much.
To those who got insulted by the question, I apologize. I really have come across several men like this. I just find it kind of backwards I guess. I would think they would appreciate it instead of pushing it away because BELIEVE me I am not the kind of person who trys to make myself sound intelligent. I actually often times come off as a bit of an airhead. Haha. But my friends know me better.
And for those who gave me real answers... thanks. Its interesting to see different perspectives. =o)
2006-08-03 19:11:48 · update #1
It depends on the people you see... There are a lot of people out there that can handle a person of your intelligence.
2006-08-03 18:39:15 · answer #1 · answered by Guzzy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I would say men feel vulnerable around attractive and intelligent woman. I am a male and I will admit it. If you get a PHD? My wife has her Masters degree and even though I have never discussed this with her. It makes me feel a little inferior. She is a very attractive woman and has a very powerful position. She earns literally 5 times more then me. Put it this way! I just work to earn my keep. Yea she Kind of wears the pants in the family. Just the way it is. I cook the dinner every night and I clean up and bath the baby and look after the house half the year. When she is abroad. I LOVE HER AND FEAR HER. She has given me and my family a lot of financial stability. Thank G-d I am not complaining. We live in Beverly Hill and she buys me and the family lots of toys .we have a gr8 respect for each other. I feel that I work just as hard. When she gets home, I make sure that she is taken care of. Offer her a drink and show her different projects that I have been currently working on around the house or pool etc... I am also very empathetic to her working so hard and show her how grateful I am for this.
When we got engaged we did not know how we were going to make ends meet. I was working my *** of then. Then my wife struck a music deal with Sony and the tables turned.
I am sure you will meet the person just for you. There are plenty of people around Men and Woman. Yes even if you are high powered. Go for your PHD. Knowledge is everything.
2006-08-03 18:57:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only men that are less smart than you would get threatened. Men are self conscious and like to be "better" than the girl. If they think you are smarter than them (and you probably are..) then they will feel threatened. If they are on your same level of intelligence or maybe slightly less, but not enough for them not to be able to fake otherwise, then they will NOT be threatened by you.
Just try dating people with your same interests and education, you won't have a problem then.
2006-08-03 18:43:21 · answer #3 · answered by munich13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think if you dated someone who also has a college degree, why would they feel threatened? You are both on the same level and both intelligent. I would think a man that hasn't gone to college might feel inferior intellectually, so could possibly feel you would be bored with him or he won't have as much to offer you in the relationship. You know men have quite the ego's and very fragile at that!
2006-08-03 18:44:50 · answer #4 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys are intimidated, yes. The one you want is not. He gets bored at stupid hair flipping, coppertoned, blond bimbos that are 50% fake. Be happy with who you are, love your life and what you are doing and if they can't take it, you don't want him anyway. Still be nice, and try not to become bitter. don't dumb yourself down and try to be like the rest. The "rest" soon become forgotten. The PhD's make the world a better place and are talked about long after they are gone. make your mark and if a guy notices and respects it then RIGHT ON!
2006-08-03 18:44:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No not at all. I do believe that what most women perceive as threatening, is in reality just men perceiving that intelligence as baggage. We really don't mind, but it is not the main attribute that we are looking for. Brace yourself, we value wisdom over intelligence. Wisdom is usually simple, honest and earthy. We place a high premium on all of those things. To us, love is simple and self explanatory. Intelligent people tend to over complicate things and that is something that most men see as baggage. Sorry, but it is true. Next time try talking about and showcasing those things inside of you that make you a woman and not a PhD.
P.S. Whatever you do don't dumb yourself down just for them! Besides when people do that just to fit in, they usually just end up coming off as patronizing. Most people will usually accept others as long as they are just being themselves without putting on, or in your case taking off, airs. You sound interesting, just let it shine.
2006-08-03 18:50:03 · answer #6 · answered by jinxed_me 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes dear it is going to get worse. I am in the process of going to school and all my male friends are of the opinion that I should first get married since by advancing my educational background is making me doomed to being single. I am of the opinion that they are men who out there are not threatened by this but the truth is even that recognized professor will go to the village to find a girl who did not even go to college as his wife.
2006-08-03 18:51:32 · answer #7 · answered by ngina 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually the best women are the intelligent women. if they feel threatened there may be some psychology behind it but they may just not be very smart themselves. i would so much rather date or marry a very average looking yet very intelligent girl who has a cool personality than some chick that is smoking hot, even if i knew she would be hot for the rest of her life and would be great in bed.
i guess i would say that smart guys have their priorities in order. (if i am somehow insinuating that i am smart, let me say that my gpa in college sucked cause i was short-sighted.)
2006-08-03 18:47:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, it depends on what you're looking for. I've always dated women who were more educated or further along in their careers and it has never been an issue for me. Not to get too philosophical, but you might ask yourself what it is about you that is attracted to men with inferiority complexes? That is a possible angle, right? You might just need to feel superior in a relationship...think about that and let us know the results of your introspection.
2006-08-03 18:45:58 · answer #9 · answered by dirtyhungrythirsty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, nothing is wrong with you. You just need an upgrade on the men you hang out with! I'm pretty sure that if you check out webdate_dot_com you'll be able to find a real man who won't be threatened by your looks!
2006-08-03 20:04:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The kind of men that you want to end up with are not threatened by smart women. Just keep looking. You will find the right kind of guy who isn't.
2006-08-03 18:38:54 · answer #11 · answered by Squashie16 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋