how do you feeling like being raped is your fault?

Question

After being raped I felt like my world was crush.I feel like it's my fault I feel the pain and sorrow he put me through everyday.Then it being my own cousin made me feel even worst.My mother never found out until like 4 months before it made it a year.M e and and my dad were really cool but when feel he found out by my guidance councler and not me he was furious.He told me a was good for me,I wanted it,it's my fault,I'm a little ***** and it's good for me.So, hearing come from my dad really made me think it was my fault without a dout.

Answer 1

Absolutely NOT! Being raped is a horrible thing that shouldnt happen to anyone. Im so sorry you had to go through that. I know a lot of people who are raped feel partly responsible. That is a lie strait from the devil. It was not your fault. Did you do anything legal about it? Its up to you, but I think your cousin should be punished for this. That way he might not do it again. Some parents, sadly, dont want to except what has happened to their child, especially if it is by someone that they know. I would suggest finding a counselor and a support group. That way you could talk about it with other people who have had to go through it. I am so sorry and I hope that you feel better.

Answer 2

In a society that usually tends to blame the victim for the sexual assault, I can understand why you might think it was your fault.But you need to get that out of your head right now-IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.The victim is never, ever at fault no matter what- I don't care if she was drunk, was provocatively dressed, or was sexually active in the past.The person who did this to you made a choice, just like all rapists do- he chose to force you to have sex.Nothing that he said or did that day made it okay or ever will make this okay-he broke the law and that's that. I agree with the answerer who said that your dad needs extensive therapy. I couldn't agree more! What he said to you was wrong and untrue ,and I don't think you should let this add to the grief and pain you're already experiencing because of the rape.Your father is no better then the scumbag attorneys who try to let rapists off the hook when they know damn well that they're guilty and should rot in jail.So maybe it wouldn't hurt to distance yourself from him(I don't know if you live with him or not?)and see if your mom can talk him into getting counseling as well. It could be that he's in an extreme state of shock and denial about what happened and that's why he reacted the way he did, not that that excuses it! But please, sweetie- don't think that this was your fault and you deserve it. Cuz you DIDN'T. I wish that I could take all of your pain away from you.It breaks my heart that you have to go through this, but you CAN get through it-and you WILL find people who believe in you and are supportive.So please don't give up hope and always keep in mind that you are not alone! For more help on your situation, please call 1-800-656-HOPE.

Answer 3

I think that your father was really cruel to tell you that when you really needed his help. It was in ABSOLUTLEY NO WAY your fault. The ONLY person to blame is the person that violated and hurt you. I have never been raped but I can relate to what you're going through. You must be feeling really depressed and confused. It's obvious you're also frightened. The pain and sorrow you must be enduring must be unbearable. You have just been violated by someone who is your family. That one thing made it so much worse than if it was a complete stranger. I also think that your guidance counselor should have respected your feelings and not told your father until you were ready to tell him yourself. I know that your father is angry at you for not telling him but he has NO right to call you foul words and tell you that what happened is something you deserved. No one on this earth deserves to go through what you went through. I believe that for your own father to say that to you is more cruel than anything I have ever heard. No offense to your dad if your insulted in any way. But I will tell you again: WHAT HAPPENED WASN'T YOUR FAULT! I don't blame you for feeling this way though. If I had been through what you endured I'd probably feel the same way. But you should know that you didn't ask for anyone to do this to you. I know you didn't want this to happen. That should make it clear that you WERE NOT responsible for your pain. The person who your dad should have yelled at is your cousin not you. I hope this piece of advice is able to help you. I am really sorry for everything that you endured. Even though you might not see it, in my opinion you are a very brave person. The reasons why I think this are too complex to put into words. I hope you're able to recover from this traumatic experience and I hope I was able to help you. I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 4

Your dad is an A$$hole!!!! And completely WRONG!!!! It is NEVER, EVER the girls fault. (unless she begs for it than cries rape after) Your guidance counselor-at school? If that is who you are talking to after all this, get someone else to talk to, sweetie. I'm sure she's nice, but they are not usually able to help with what you are going through. Check around for a Rape Hotline, or at a clinic, or even a church. Someone should be able to help you find someone to help you get over the feeling of it being your fault and help you get through it. And then, when you KNOW it wasn't your fault, go back to your dad and explain it to him!!! Man, some men should just be kicked in the balls until they absolutely understand!!! About 10 years ago I put myself into a bad situation, but I was lucky-I sobered up quick, and the guy took NO for an answer. If you need to talk more, I'm willing to listen and try to help. Contact me. Good luck, and I will be praying for you! God Bless!!!

Answer 5

I am sorry you had to be the victim of a physco and as far as your dad goes an Jack ***! That might have been your dad's way of dealing with the fact he wasn't able to protect you but that is no excuse for the hurtful things he said to you and to some degree he is no different than the bastard that did this to you! It is not your fault. If their are some things you might have been able to do to prevent it then use that as your rock and get a hold of some school's and teach other girl's how to protect them selves even if their is nothing you could have done to prevent it. Or just let them know if they know of girls that would like to talk with someone that this has happened to that you would be willing to talk with them you would be surprised how talking with others that have been through the same thing can help.

Answer 6

With all due respect, your father is a moron!
Rape is not your fault!
No means NO!
I think you need to talk to your guidance counselor about your father's behavior.
That is child abuse! Noone should ever make such a traumatic experience into a situation where you feel you are wrong when you are not.
It was good for you?
What is that!
You also should consider contacting the authorities through your school since, you obviously do not have the home support you should have...

Answer 7

I've found that people that have been raped at a younger age also have many other problems. Unfortunately, maybe it was your fault and you just didn't know. Sorry about that answer, you are probably mad at me, but it is usually true.

As far as it being your fault is he in jail now? Why didn't you tell the police? The rape might not be your fault but I feel that the fact he isn't arrested right now might be.

The point is you should have told your parents. And it's your fault if you wear tank tops, short shorts and things of the sort. Good luck with everything. It was one day in your life, you have to move on and continue living your life.

Answer 8

Its really not your fault, you dads reaction was wrong and hes probably in shock! He like most of us say things we don't mean when were angry, if you had wanted it, it wouldn't of been rape. Your only mistake was not contacting the police right away, but thats very understandable when its a family member, that makes it harder since its going to upset the family harmony. You should seek some counseling maybe with your parents as well as alone! try to stop blaming yourself and try not to let it ruin your future! Good Luck!

Answer 9

Rape is never the victims fault. Yor dad was wrong to say that. You cousin needs to be in jail. I think you should go back to your guidence counsellor and tell him what your family is saying. Ask for help. There are groups of people who have been through this. Don't let it tear your family apart, but at the same time NEVER believe it was your fault!

Answer 10

Repeat after me: IT WAS NOT MY FAULT.

Only a hateful sexist pig would even intimate that getting raped was your fault. Sounds like a thing a chauvenist man would say, no doubt.
What in the heck is wrong with your father? He needs some counseling and thearpy for sure.

You will be OK, in time, but meanwhile, hold on to something that will give you back your power. IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.