I'm afraid to have sex...?

Question

I've had sex before. Only twice with the same man but it was horrible. I didnt like it and I was so parnoid I'd get pregnant, one time I thought I had. I've been seeing this guy for almost a year, we love eachother, and want eachother. I'm on birth control now and I love him. But I'm so scared. It's not like I don't want to, I'm just afraid of getting pregnant, and disapointing my family. Does anyone have any advice on how to get over my paranoia?

Answer 1

Assuming you are both responsible, mature adults, serious birth control, at least two types, get him to wear something too.

HOWEVER, I FEAR THAT YOU HAVE HAD SOME BAD EXPERIENCE. Therefore, wait a while. When you are comfortable with your potential partner, the fears will melt away.

Answer 2

Well since you are on birth control and if he uses a condom then there is a very slim chance you will get pregnant. I've had the exact same thing happen to me. I'm still with the guy I had sex with for the first time and we had a scare to. We have been dating for a year now and I'm on the pill too. After doing it a couple times the paranoia goes away b/c you just want to be with him. If you feel like you wont get over it then wait until you feel like you can support a baby if you did get pregnant b/c babies cost alot.

Answer 3

Well you either have two choices. You don't have sex (which you don't have to, that is your choice and your right), or you take precautions. Always make sure your using condoms, birth control, and/or spermicide, but it's always better & safer to use at least two of these. Or even all three. Nothing can get you over your paranoia except for you, and as long as you use all of these precautions, there is a very, very, very, very slim chance of getting pregnant. If you need to get on birth control, but can't quite afford it, go to planned parent hood, you can get on donation. You don't have to pay the full price that way, but occasionally you are expected to make a donation from time to time, even if it's only 5 dollars. So that's not a problem, unless your underage, then you need an aldult or gaurdian to go with you. If your parents won't let you, but you still want to be sexually active, tell them you want on the pill for period reasons (the pill helps regulate periods so it's always on the same day, it makes them lighter, helps with the cramps, they even have types that help with acne). But if this guy has lost his virginity before you, then you should probably tell the truth, that way they can check you for STD's (better safe than sorry). But if you lost your virginity to eachother, then don't worry about it. And about sex being horrible, my 2 first times were awful. On the 3rd it started to get better, if it still hurts and is just horrible, try condoms that are very lubricated, try taking it slower, and eventually you won't have any problems. If the guy really loves you, he'll be willing to help make it easier on you, and respect you on that. Don't worry, everything will be okay, as long as you take the proper precautions...but you need to be aware of the risk you take, just don't let is scare you, there's no reason for it to scare you or take total control of your mind, if your doing all of these things. Take care! And I know it will all work out.

Answer 4

Unfortunately, it's not really paranoia. Even with birth control, a pregnancy can occur. That is the unfortunate fact of biology.

You make it sound like your fear of sex is dictated by your fear of pregnancy. I would suspect that was what ran through your head the two times before. I believe that would be enough to dissuade any sexual interaction.

The only real advice that I can say is that you probably should speak with a trained counselor about this. However, I will mention that birth control can be effective if properly applied. It's not 100%, but if you can abstain during times of the month when you can get pregnant and take every reasonable precaution birth-control-wise, you'll be as close as you can be.

I wish you well with your relationship.

Answer 5

As are all virgins. Regardless of whether or not if you are a virgin, though, your paranoia is keeping you and the one you want to get it on with from getting intimate. The scare tactics they used in health class to make you worried about STD's and pregnancy really did a number on you I'm assuming. With a condom and birth control, your chances are very slim at getting pregnant. However, if you love him, and if he loves you, then getting pregnant shouldn't be a problem. Then again, I'm also probably correct in assuming that you are both just a couple of for lack of a better term ignorant kids who don't actually know what love is and are just horny as hell. Sorry I'm so blunt, but the "I'm young and inexperienced" questions are getting old. Why can't anyone ask questions about actually being in a relationship anymore instead of just about the sex?

Answer 6

Sex can be horrible. But it can be wonderful too. If you love this guy and he loves you it will be a very different experience this time around. If you are concerned about pregnancy, have him wear a condom and use a spermicidal gel, which will help with lubrication too. The most important thing is that you are honest with him about your concerns. You are going to have to take this slowly. Don't worry if everything doesn't work out the first time, you can always try again. Having a few drinks beforehand will help you relax. Remember, millions of people have sex every day. It probably isn't the big deal you have built it up to be.

Answer 7

If you are really that paranoid then dont do it... but dont let your first bad experiences persuade you.

I was the same way I had sex with a guy 2 times and it was bad, it hurt and i bled and i didnt want to do it again but then i found my boyfriend who I love so much and it really is different when you love the person

Just be careful, Always take your birth control AND use a condom too!

Answer 8

If you dnt want to, then dnt. But seriously go the doctor and the doctor will tell you all the things you need to know before having sex... if ur underage, then make sure ou stay on birth control pills, and make sure he uses condom... if you do that (correctly) theres a 99.9% chance that you will N0T get pregnant.

Answer 9

Hmm!!!

You are not afraid of having sex, but you are afraid of getting pregnant.

First of all, how old are you?

Second, you are not ready. Wait until you do feel ready. Never let anything or anyone force you.

Sex is more than a physical function. When you love someone you want to automatically give of yourself Until then.. wait..

Answer 10

Just one more piece of advice...if you're using the pill (which is good) and the condom too (even better) make sure you use lots of lubrication if you are nervous and dry...giving you one less worry about the condom breaking and worrying that it will really hurt. If he really loves you and you love him and you guys talk openly...tell him your fears, and if you try and still can't or don't want to...tell him.