how do you break up with someone that you care for without hurting him?

Question

me and my boyfriend have been going out for 4 months now but my feelings for him have gone out the windw. i love him but im not in love with him. we have mutual friends and im scared to hurt his feelings because hes a great boyfriend but im confused and my brain hurts from thinking too much, lol

Answer 1

Tell him how you feel. Tell him you want to stay friends b/c you still love him, but just not that way. It's going to hurt him one way another b/c you broke up with him, but if he likes being friends with you then he will stay friends.

Answer 2

Ask yourself first what Ture love really is. The feeling of being "In love" is not what real love is. That is infatuation. Real love is a choice to be with someone even when you don't necessarly want to, because you are commited to them. People that are married for 30 years are not "in love" with each other, but do they love each other.. yes. That is why the divorce rate is so high. Once the flighty In love feeling wears off, people bail on the relationship. That is not true love.

If you really want the relationship to be over, remember that a clean break heals faster than a messy one. Be gentle, but very clear, and then leave him alone until he heals.

Answer 3

When you tell him that you no longer want to continue the relationship you want to try and avoid pointing out any negatives about him. So just say something like you feel you need a break and want more time for yourself and that you want to focus more on school. Even if it is not true, at least you are reflecting the reason away from him and so it will help soften the impact of the break up. Good luck. Breaking hard is hard to do.

Answer 4

well, maybe sugar you should think some more. I know it doesn't seem like the best idea but you said you are confused. About what? if other things are going on about feelings than naturally both of you don't belong together. it seems like he really really likes you. And Unfortunately there is no easy way to let him down gently. but if you want to try this, when you let him go, help him get over you, and who knows maybe your feelings will come back for him in time. make sure that he's the one in control if you let him go. it hurts more if its forced and you force him to not want comfort from you. try your best. it'll all work out in the end. trust me.*smiles*

Answer 5

Just do it. Don't drag it out. Be honest. The truth may hurt sometimes but it is the only way to go when you are breaking up.
Tell him the same thing you told us. Love him, not in love with him. When he asks what that means, tell him when the right person comes along, he'll understand. Somebody out there is meant for him and it is not you. Hope we can remain civil and keep our dignity by parting honestly and friendly

Answer 6

well,i've been with that situation before and i feel what u feel now that it's really difficult to tell him what's inside u coz u don't wanna hurt his feelings.Especially if u know,he care about u and he's really serious and he's not playing around that is so hard to think and it's really ur brains hurts from thinking and u don't have peace of mind and it's killing ur brain..lol..anyway,if u don't wanna to hurt his feelings,so just do step by step,just let him feel that his not already special for u let him feel that u change,like u don't show a care for him like before and by the time he will feel it,he will think that maybe u don't love him anymore and he will be ready for ur next step to do coz he will think that u wanna finish ur realtionship. So just wait that he'll be the one to ask what is happening in ur relationship,and this is the time u will tell everything that u wanna break with him..Coz by this time when u say to him,he prepared himself already and he he will not hurt coz he knew it...That's what i did and now i'm enjoying my life coz i have a peace of mind already..Goodluck

Answer 7

The best way is the direct way. Tell him how you feel. you do more harm and run the chance of hurting him too much if you dont say anything now and wait to long because then you lose a friend in the process.

Answer 8

If you truly care about their feelings, break up with them as soon as possible. The further you lead someone on, the harder it will be for them to deal with when you break the news to them. Women constantly make the mistake of hesitating for long periods of time over this very same issue all the time because they aren't quite sure how they will take it, or if they themselves will be able to get over it. Just do it now, because waiting helps nothing and only makes things worse.

Answer 9

How serious is the relationship? 4months depends on the 2 people but I dont think there is a way of dumping him without hurting him. You could always just tell him that you need a break to clear your mind so that you can understand what it is that you need and or desire in your life..

Answer 10

Tell him the truth and tell him quickly! Trust me, I've been in this situation, and the longer you put it off the more it will hurt him. Be kind, but don't back down. It's best if you do it where you're alone and not over the phone or internet. Good luck!