Sex Offender question?

Question

A 14 y/o boy "plays doctor" with a 5 y/o neighbor kid. When confronted, he admits what he did. He is arrested and sent to prison for 12 1/2 years.
He is now 27 y/o and has been out of prison for 2 months. He cannot find a job because of his past. He lives in a run down neighborhood because that was the only place willing to rent to him. In many ways, he is still like a 14 y/o kid. He had never paid a bill, never held a job, never lived alone, he didn't even get to attend high school.
He is doing the best he knows how to do, but around every corner he is knocked down for something that happened almost 13 years ago.
This sex offender is my brother and I love him very much.
Do you think he deserves to move on with his life and put this nightmare behind him, or will you jump on the bandwagon and say he should be killed for what he did as a child?

WOW. I am overwhelmed with the number of responses. Thank you for keeping him and our family in your prayers.
We live in West Virginia, and yes, he was tried as an adult. the way the law is writen here, if the offender is over the age of 14 (he was 14 and 12 days) and the victim is under the age of 10, the case is automatically considered adult jurisidiction. With mandatory sentencing, he was given 15-25 years. He was in juvenile facilities until his 18th birthday, and was then moved to adult facilities.

Answer 1

A lot of times, younger men experiment with other younger men - they want to get to know their bodies and so do their friends- no guys will admit it. The fact that he kid was 5 is hard because your brother was almost 10 years older than him and probably should have known wrong from right. But - a lot of times, the "offenders" at some time or another have also been a victim so perhaps this happened to him at some point.

I do believe in rehabilitation - escpecially in younger people. I do hope that he has been successful in doing this and I do hope that he knows how many people this can hurt and I hope he knows never to do it again. It is a tough thing to judge from the outside - 12 1/2 years is a long time. I have heard of murderers that don't do that much time and I know rapists do not - most of the time so it's hard for me to b ethe judge of such a serious matter without knowing your brother.

I don't know what emotional damage he may have had or what he was thinking when he did this. Did he feel guilty - did he know it was wrong? Will he do it again - has he had an urge to do it again. Has he done this to more than one person? I do feel sorry for your brother as well as that little boy. Your story gave me the chills - situations like this aren't good for anyone - no one wins. I am sure if I was that little boys sister, I would not feel this way - But perhaps, I can't help but think that the people who do this have something different in their brain chemistry or some type od mental illness that gives them this urge - I can't help but think that but maybe that is wishful thinking.

He does deserve a life and to move on but I hope with all of my heart this doesn't happen again; that he does not hurt more people and himself - again. That little boy will have this in his mind forever and have to deal with it and may even question himself or his sexuality when he gets older. But - so does your brother. So, I think he deserves to move on but to NEVER forget the damage he has done. He can choose to let this make him a better person - to learn by his mistakes; and I use that word lightly; or to do it again - which I could not agree with or understand at all.

I would highly recommend that your brother stay in counseling because if these urges arise - and they may he needs to talk about them and not act on them. He has this second chance at life now and should use it well - meet someone, get a job, get an education, maybe fall in love. If he ever has kids, he has to be careful with that too - and I am sure even he is scared about all of these things but the #1 thing for him is to be aware - to know that urge could come back at the least expected time and place and he has to have a plan and someone to go to for it if and when it does.

I commend you for sticking by your brother. I am sure you feel some of the things that I said but you know him and love him and you know there is more to him than that decision he made over 10 years ago. He was still an adolescent then and probably confused and puberty was beginning but either way it was wrong and I am sure that he knows that. Not many families stick by loved ones that do this to others so I do again commend you for being so solid and secure. Find out the rules for your state - what you must disclose on job or renters applications and if there is some kind of neighborhood alert when an offender moves in because that will follow him. I feel sorry for that for him - it must be humiliating and just horrible as well as hard to deal with and the way you wrote everything just struck me in a way that stories like this never have before. This will never totally be behind him - ever and in some ways it should not be - cause the moment we forget... but he does deserve a life, a new start and I wish him the best finding that - please make sure you speak to him often, tell him to see a therapist for a long time, if not forever - he will need to vent all of these feelings to a therapist because this is and has I am sure, brought him a lot of pain. He has to stay open and honest and talk about it - just like anyone with any past problem or sickness. He has to or it may come back and I hope it does not.

I will pray for you and for him. God bless you for being such a wonderful person and I pray that every day his steps and heart are a little lighter, his thoughts a little clearer and his world a lot happier. Best of luck.

Answer 2

Mark if this is true you have to remember that a crime is a crime. But we also have to look at his age at the time. Did he fully understand what he was doing. A 14 year old boy is not fully mature and may not be able to determine that somthing is right or wrong. I would hope that he recieved consel while in prison. The problem that remains is that many people will have fears because of his history and will not know if he is capable of doing the same crime again. Is it fair to continue to punish him. Well if the courts and the judical system feel that he is able to be released then we have to trust they made the right choice. No he should not be killed. It will be very hard for him to find housing and work because this will remain on his record. He will have a long battle to fight to prove that he is a new person. Yes people can change and perhaps he has to. Good luck and support him.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, in this day in time, most sex offenders are more likely to commit another sex offense even after being released from prison. Now, I am not saying that your brother is like that; however, because of your brothers past he has now been stereotyped and most people are not willing to give a former sex offender a second chance because they are afriad that they will commit another crime.
If I were an employer I would give your brother a second chance. He was only 14 years old at the time and most 14 year old kids still do not fully understand the consequences of their actions. I believe that he should be given a second chance to get back into society and be an upstanding memeber.

Answer 4

As a former intern for a Public Defender's office these are the very things I vow once I become governor in my respective state to stop. They say you can never be punished for the same crime twice, but the problem is that in a very real sense former prisoners are forever being punished. You've paid your debt, but you cannot get a job, can't get a decent place to live. And at 12, how did this happen, I know the family had to go w/ a court appointed attorney.

All I can say is that they could at least provide the people with the skills to be successful upon completion of their time served and be sure that they are placed so tha tthey can be a productive citizen.

I will pray for you, your brother, and your family, may God bless

Answer 5

Child molesters are horrible, but he was only a child himself when that happened. I find it hard to believe that he was actually sentenced for 12 1/2 years at such a young age...that's really quite unheard of. They should be more strict like that with all of the sex offenders and murderers, etc...maybe they'd learn something. Some of these people get just a little slap on the hand and go right back to what they were doing. Maybe your brother has changed and I hope he has.

Answer 6

Well I dont understand why they would give a 14 y/o 12 1/2 yrs thats pretty steep I think they should have put him in councelling especially because he was so young. I dont see jail doing anything for sex offenders. I think they should definetly be sent to seek professional help and be put in jail to in most cases. I think maybe still your brother should go to coucelling and no he shouldnt be punished again for a crime that he's already payed the price for but some people are just *** holes. I thought that those type of records would be closed to the public seeing that he was a minor when that happend. Also how in the hell could they give him 12 1/2 yrs for that? It must have been more to it.

Answer 7

I think he should be given a chance to prove himself but if he messes up again...then that just shows that it's in him forever, probably and he's no good in society. Child molesters are horrible, but he was only a child himself when that happened. I find it hard to believe that he was actually sentenced for 12 1/2 years at such a young age...that's really quite unheard of. They should be more strict like that with all of the sex offenders and murderers, etc...maybe they'd learn something. Some of these people get just a little slap on the hand and go right back to what they were doing. Maybe your brother has changed and I hope he has.

Answer 8

for a 14 yr old boy to be prisoned for 12 1/2 years because he was playing 'doctor' with a 5 yr old neighbour's kid. - the law your country's abiding by is (blank). Either you have no sexual assaults, rape, sexual offences what so ever - coz they must be eliminated with such high laws in yur country / or / you're brother's cases ruling was just too much.

Let me know what country you're in.. i got a hell of a long list of sex offenders, rapists, child molesters that are walking around free holding their sick head high, and even bragging about it in their circle of men. Some with only a year - 2 years imprisonment - and they're adults.

If you're brother understood what he's done - which i'm sure by now.. he's atleast mature enough to understand., he and you will have a hell of a long way to go, coz you have to help him to start from scratch.

All the best, and i'm very sorry for your brother. Take Care.

Answer 9

He was 14 when it happened? I do believe that most 14 yr olds do know right from wrong, however at 14 they aren't mature enough to necessarily always make the right decision.
Look into your state laws (and court rulings) regarding record expungement. I'm assuming if he was in until 27 he was tried as an adult?? So it may be a little harder. But consult a defense attorney!!
You also have to understand he's been in prison for a long time and never had a chance to really grow. You can't expect him to just re join society and have everything be "normal" right off the bat. Regardless it will take time.
Just to keep my inbox from filling up with people calling me names over this one though, I'm making my stance clear... I DO think what he did was wrong, but like I said he was a kid. Good luck.

Answer 10

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Well, he did more than just play Doctor to get 12 and 1/2 years. At 14, he was a kid yes, but an adult compared to the little 5 year old who was in essence just a baby to his mentality. With that said, yeah the guy paid his time, and now he's also paying the price. Odds are if he doesn't go to the court or some community service such as welfare or something for counseling to help him learn how to live in the real world, and like a grown man now - that he will just end up back in prison (for something else hopefully). So, I suggest you hook him up with some counseling so he can deal with life now.

Answer 11

? answered 8 years ago
A lot of times, younger men experiment with other younger men - they want to get to know their bodies and so do their friends- no guys will admit it. The fact that he kid was 5 is hard because your brother was almost 10 years older than him and probably should have known wrong from right. But - a lot of times, the "offenders" at some time or another have also been a victim so perhaps this happened to him at some point.

I do believe in rehabilitation - escpecially in younger people. I do hope that he has been successful in doing this and I do hope that he knows how many p