Should my husband allow us to have another baby?

Question

I am 40, my husband 47, both excellent health, married 13 yrs., no financial concerns. We have a beautiful 15 mo.old son. I would love another baby. My husband says "no way!, too risky, life is great the way it is" (true) But he originally thought we'd have 3, then 2 then maybe one. We got a late start because he kept wanting to put off becoming parents. I would love for my son to have a sibling and experience pregnancy one more time. Should I push the issue?

Answer 1

I can understand your wanting to experience pregnancy one more time, but the question is, is it really advisable. It sounds to me like your husband is worried about you; and there is also the potential for birth defects as the mother gets older.
Think of this scenario - you insist, your husband finally gives in and you have a child. The child has Down syndrome or some other birth defect. Never mind whether it's fair to your husband, is it fair to the children? Kids deserve a chance to come into this world healthy and with all their faculties intact. They deserve a chance to enjoy all that the world offers and to be happy and productive. Given that there are clear medical risks, I wouldn't push it.
If you really must have a a second child, why not adopt? It would be a nice compromise and a great way to say 'thank you God' for the lovely child you have been gifted with.

Answer 2

If you really want one then yeah I would push it. I am in the same situation right now. Well I'm 29 and I have and 8 yr old and a 5yr old I want one more soon because i hate the age gap. We are doing really good right now and I think we could do it but he doesn't want to. I cry at night because I love children so much and I really miss holding a baby and that feeling when your pregnant and the baby moves inside you. I can't bear the thought that this could be it for me - and the reason being that someone else is pushing their will on me!! I sure hope your husband is more understanding than mine.

Answer 3

How do you feel?

It sounds like you really want another child. Be open and honest with your husband - he loves you! And, he wants not just the best for you but to make you happy. Perhaps, try explaining that another child would bring you that happiness.

Yes, it does get riskier the older you are...but, if you had a good pregnancy with your son what's to say that won't be the case again. But, if it isn't ... make sure you draw the lines and create the scenerio and options before hand.

My hubby and I did fertility treatments. We went in knowing what to expect from each other in the event that we had multiples or that we couldn't have children or when we would pull the plug completely. Just talk it over and be willing to compromise!! Maybe adoption could be an option...

Answer 4

Waiting or putting off having children Kind of makes your husband seem selfish if it was something you had decided early in your relationship. If I wanted another child. My husband would have to live and deal with my pregnancy. There would not be a be 'he says no' The plan was for more then one get working sometimes you have to make the final decision. What Do You want? 2 is sometimes easier then one when it comes to housework

Answer 5

I think it says volumes about a society in which couples decide who should be born, when they should be born, and IF they should be born. Perhaps it is just that since your son is only 15 months, your husband doesn't realize how fast they grow. I can only speak for myself. I was blessed with a wonderful husband who loves all of me, including the very fertile part of me. We accepted the children God gave us even when it wasn't part of our plan. I am now 41 with 6 children. I have absolutely no regrets about having all my babies. At the time, I didn't know how we could make it, but now as I watch them mature into adults, I know this is the way it is supposed to be. Why don't you pray that God will soften your husband's heart and leave it to God?

Answer 6

if it is something you truly want and need then yes push the issue, but not so much that it pushes your husband away..if your husband stands his ground and truly doesn't want another child then why force him? Having a child should be something that is wanted 100% by both parents, not 100% by one and 25% by the other. Children can tell no matter how much you try to hide it. If he doesn't want one be happy with the beautiful family you have.

Answer 7

well it will be risky and ur husband loves u and u wouldnt want to risk ur life and u could die and if u do then u would be leaving ur husband and son just stick with one kid but if u r sure like positive that u can have one at this age then go right ahead but ask the doctor if its ok first before u guys go and try to make another baby

Answer 8

It is a decision that you have to talk to each other about as we can all give you advice on this question but we aren't the wanting to have a child .this is between you and your husband but you can only try as you are only human. but you will be old when he or she turns 20. It is a good idea to have another to keep the other one company while they are growing up together. It is not good to have one as they don't have any one to turn to when they want advice on any thing as they are the only child syndrome.
Best of luck with your question and hopes every thing turns out for you's both .

Answer 9

I say yes! They say now that it's not risky until after 50. (50 is the new 40!!). My personal opinion is that children should have at least one sibling. For many reasons. Socialization, sharing, comraderie (sp?), plus, after you're gone (a long time from now), they'll still have family in this crazy world. Comforting.

Answer 10

Push it a little to make sure he's certain that he really doesn't want any more kids. If he's positive, then stop pushing. Having an unwanted baby may cause unwanted stress in your relationship, which isn't any good for your son or your family as a whole.